Should I continue to support Bill Bowen?

by Gamaliel 83 Replies latest jw friends

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  Gamaliel

  To Whom It May Concern,

  I have contributed financially to the cause of silentlambs.org and have, to a smaller extent, even promoted the website. It is difficult enough to fathom the depth of hurt heaped on humankind, but impossible for me to understand how such suffering can be compounded with injustice, as I read experiences on silentlambs.org. I only had to point out a few of the experiences to justify to my wife why I had given as I had to the cause. As I read on this board recently: "Of the many sexual crimes, child molestation is unquestionably one of the most despicable. Those who shield child molesters certainly bear a very heavy responsibility."

  Not that this should matter to anyone else, but I am now worried that my further support might be misplaced. I am looking for a viable alternative means of contributing to such a cause. It may sound selfish, but I don't believe I have time or skills at present to volunteer and would prefer just giving financially to a reputable abuse victims support group. Also, perhaps more selfishly, because I was a JW (4th generation), I would hope that an alternative exists that also focuses or, at least, understand JW issues. Although I wasn't aware of these issues while I was in (for nearly 25 years), my own sister had to endure an abusive husband "for the reputation of Jehovah's organization." My own father was one of the elders who recommended this counsel. He has expressed great remorse for this, but is still a JW.

  My reason for the current question, if anyone cares to know, is that I have found the recent insinuations by Bill Bowen to be very distressing and so unfair to the people looking to him for effective leadership and support. Although discussing the issues on this forum became important, I was as anxious as many others to see the discussion stop. I had such high hopes for what Bill was doing that I honestly expected see evidence that he was dropping the matter to get back to more serious concerns about the abused victims. Yet, as I just discovered today, Bill has apparently continued to promote this unfair and abusive agenda.

  see, "Denial, Dementia or Criminal Intent" by silentlambs - Site Admin at: http://lambsroar.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=123

  excerpt:

  I have no war with Ray Franz, I tried to take the peaceful way out and let him have the benefit of the doubt, .... It appears Ray wants a war.... I tried to let it go but sometimes an explanation needs to be given due to misrepresentation of the facts, well now you have it.

  So far, I have only been able to get Ray's side of the story in person (via phone). Even without Ray's side of the story, however, I had already seen more than enough evidence to conclude that I currently can not, in good conscience, support Bill Bowen. Ironically, I would be knowingly supporting an abusive agenda. I'm torn, though, for the cause and hopes of individual "silent lambs" because I think the site itself still has both current and potential value. I am not encouraging others to stop supporting it.

  Hopefully, silentlambs.org can get back to its stated agenda of helping "silent lambs" rather than fighting wars, rumors of wars and wars of rumors. Perhaps, it still might. In the meantime, if anyone knows of reputable alternative(s) to silentlambs exist, I would like to know. I am also interested in support of adult abuse victims, too (i.e., abused wives).

  Has anyone here had experience with other such groups that they truly believe helped them to heal?

  Gamaliel
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  hamptonite21

  You should continue to support the cause. I dont think the agenda of silent lambs has changed! But I do think that the issue has been well rested and it is time to drop it already! This board has hiped it up and the issue is DEAD!
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  nancee park

  Bill has told the hard truth. So did evidently did Ms Pat Garza when she said Ted Jarasz of the Gov Body molested her when District Overseer in L.A. since he has not denied what she has publicly stated. Is this what you mean?
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  Iwasyoungonce

  Gamaliel,

  I share your frustration and also have hope that soon the Silentlambs resources will be more than it currently is. But with Jehovah Witness plagonomics at work I don't think that much can change. I have this week inparticular, come to the belief that the only way to deal with the sickness that the Jehovah Witness mentality has given me is to again lay down the sword and walk away. Not from the issue mind you. Just from pretending that just because it is done to a Jehovah Witness by a Jehovah Witness that it is somehow more henious than of it were done by a Catholic or even a non religous person. It does just eat at me how the JW children and other victims are so snowed. I could (And have) just screamed. But I have to accept that they choose their course in life as do I. I know that children don't. Those childrens parents will have to live with the hell that they put their kids though. God help them.

  In the real world there are so many good charites and organizations that anyone can join. I think that if you are sincere in wanting to donate money to worthy causes you will find them. And maybe you will consider joining in making a better world for us all. I know that I do.

  I will probably still financial support Silentlambs. But at this point that desire to donate my money is strained. I no longer talk about the site as I talked to everyone a few months ago. This is also the last JW site that I post at. And that is also strained. I don't want to allow the Jw's any more of my time. Everything is so negative. I can't even find one positive thing to say accept I am glad that people leave. I have even thought well what if I was one. What could be positive? And I did see public speaking and knowing that your reality can be over ridden if you let it. But for me it is all bad. And that is sad.

  I can see how this Ray vs Bill thing is so flamed. But for me I look at it and say what a waste of time. Which then is applied to all of it and I go full circle. I think it is time to get off the mary go round.
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  Farkel

  I think Bill's cause is great and I still support it, but his arguments and analogies in the link you provided are simply terrible, to put it mildly.

  Farkel
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  Prisca

  Gamaliel,

  I haven't seen you here before, so welcome to the board.

  Yes, it is most unfortunate that Bill Bowen has decided to make a mountain out a molehill. His constant attacks on Ray Franz and those refuse to bow down to the god of silentlambs make me wonder just where BB is heading. Has he lost sight of the real picture? Is the silentlambs movement really about the victims?

  As to organisations to support, I am sure there are child abuse organisations in your area that could do with your support. Silentlambs is unique only in that it deals with JW abuse victims exclusively. Where as other organisations are more general in who they look after. I would suggest looking up "charities" in your phone book, or call a local welfare centre to see where you could help.

  Remember, there is no right or wrong answer as to who you should support. It is a decision that has to be made by the individual, something that is right for you.
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  Farkel

  prisca,

  : His constant attacks on Ray Franz and those refuse to bow down to the god of silentlambs make me wonder just where BB is heading.

  That's a bit harsh with the "god of silentlambs" statement, don't you think? I know Bill. He's not trying to make himself a "god", you know. It's a big leap from making weak or specious arguments at times to trying to make oneself a "god."

  Farkel
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  Pistoff

  I do not believe that support for silentlambs should be discontinued because you don't like Bill.

  To me this is so much like what I did as a witness; if I think any little thing is not right, I walk away, and the world just does not work well that way. For example, not contributing to United Way because Planned Parenthood is there, or not helping Habitat for Humanity because churches also support it. So what? My giving to those causes does NOT mean I agree with them but I do agree with their cause. Witness thinking is such that we thought we had the right to control such things, instead of working along with them and having our own opinion and keeping it to ourself.

  I think bill might be a little over the top on the Ray thing, but who knows. I don't expect Bill to be perfect, or Ray, and it does not change the wonderful results that SL has and will accomplish.

  I will keep on supporting the cause.
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  Dutchie

  I don't expect Bill to be perfect, or Ray, and it does not change the wonderful results that SL has and will accomplish

  I agree with you Pistoff. When I read writings by Bill like the one above I see the words of a man in pain. A man who is trying desperately to get others to see his point of view. I cannot forget that Bill Bowen gave up his whole life for a cause that he thought worth fighting for and now he is being reviled by the very people who should be supporting him. I feel sorry for him. I refuse to kick a man when he is down. Who among us does not have faults? I know that if I were being torn apart in thread after thread on discussion board after discussion board day after day, I could not bear up under the stress and would have to check myself into a psychiatric hospital.

  I also have the utmost respect for Mr. Franz, but he has many, many friends, some of whom have come to this very forum to defend him with their intellect. This is as it should be. We all need friends to come to our defense at times. Mr. Franz has performed a monumental service to all of us here and his praises will be sung by us long after he is no longer among us.

  I don't know if I have ever been a good christian. Even when I was being the most devout witnesses that I knew how to be I still had feelings of inadequacy. However, I have always had empathy for my fellow man and some of the very persons who proclaim loudly and repeatedly that they are christians and believe the words of the Bible are unable to see the value in forgiveness, in turning the other cheek, in putting themselves in the shoes of anoher.
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  Francois

  I wish Bill would drop the Ray thing. I especially wish he wouldn't prostitute his very useful site to further his personal war with Ray. It waters down his entire effort. He should remain focused on his primary mission and let Ray alone. Totally. Using up any space on his site to argue with Ray makes him look like some kinda kook. I wish he'd stop it. Now. Damn.