Where do they sit in your hall?

by ns7 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • ns7

    Greetings all
    What I find bemusing is, if there are any disfellowshipped ones in your hall they have to sit at the back. Now without getting into the merits/rights/wrongs of whether this should be still acceptable, where do they sit in your hall?
    You see I seem to remember that they would sit on the back row, come in quietly just after the song and prayer and leave at the end just as quick. There would be this unwritten rule that some may sit there. But what I have noticed in my hall and in neighbouring congregations is that they will sit along a row of chairs placed along the back wall, usually where an attendants sits. This sends messages to all those in the cong who are there, a very subtle message (I don’t think) that we have the spiritual unclean with us. Even if they have family they can’t seem to sit discreetly at the back.
    Where did this stupid rule come in?
    It just seems that if any did want any to return we seem to excel at making them jump through hoops, just so that they can show this humbly, repentant attitude.

  • LDH

    You are right. When my DA'd sister went for a meeting a year ago to discuss being reinstated, they asked her NOT to sit by my parents, but to sit at 'the back' of the hall, and please not look at people. Bunch of fucking bullshit. She told 'em as much.

    Of course, it also wasn't enough that she agreed not to gamble on the basis that Jehovah's FDS said it was wrong; no! She had to be willing to say the words, 'I believe gambling is wrong.' When she wouldn't say it, they told her she was, what else?!?!?


    When she does bother to go now, she sits directly between my parents, who are so glad to have her there they could give a shit what others think.

  • joelbear

    I only attended one meeting after being disfellowshipped and I was ushered to a chair in the back row. I stayed for the talk but not for the WT. I really just wanted once last glimpse at a number of my friends. I was about to move from Jacksonville Fla to Atlanta Ga.

    The visit left me with one image burned in my mind, the image of shunning. One very spiritually mature brother walked by me with his head up and turned clearly away from me specifically to give me the message I was being shunned.

    I guess I am grateful. If one person in the hall had smiled at me or patted my back or squeezed my shoulder I would probably still be a witness.

    c'est la vie


  • waiting

    Hello ns7,

    Nice to meet you. My daughter is df'd about 8 years now. When she used to come to the KH (when my husband & I went to meetings), she always sat between us, wherever we sat.

    However, I know what you're talking about. I used to have panic attacks which only allowed me several minutes to get out of wherever I was. I came early so that I could sit with my husband on the back row. I was told by an 80 yr old attendent I could not sit there as this was reserved for df'd ones who needed to come/go quickly.

    I told him I was sitting there, and a quiet heated argument took place - but I still sat there. I later complained to elders - they apologized and said it would never happen again. It didn't.

    However, I think each KH makes their own rules on seating. If there were chairs up front - people who weren't df'd would be firmly requested to move up front during the meetings, few excuses accepted.

    If a sister with short straight skirt sat in first couple of rows - it happened several times that the attendants asked her firmly to move so as not to arouse the speaker. Yeah, right.

    A married, quite lovely sister came late for the meeting. Attendant found her a seat and she accepted. She was counseled later that she should have refused her seating because the attendant sat her beside an unmarried brother. Could have aroused him. Yeah, right.

    I don't know if all halls are like ours - our elders have a city-wide reputation for being extremely rule orientated.

    It just seems that if any did want any to return we seem to excel at making them jump through hoops, just so that they can show this humbly, repentant attitude.

    I know you're post was about the df'd in the KH, but the elders seem to make everyone jump through hoops. As for the df'd, I think it's to humiliate them, punish them.


  • DevilsAdvocate_DA

    Without being judgmental, LDH, I agree with you parents. It is wrong in reguesting a person to set in an assigned place at the kingdom hall or any other sactions they may have come up with that are inhumane based. We have now scriptural princple to back it up.

    For example, it is stated, by some -- not all, that a person that is disfellowshiped is not a person. Yet they are counted at the kingdom hall as a person warming a set. When they are seen putting moneies into the box, they are not told, you can not do that, you are not part of us. We do not need you support, etc. etc.

    This is a double standard in my educated reasoning.

    However, we do have men, sorry to say, in this organization that like to use such sanctions to keep control, control, control, get the point. I personally believe if we do away with such men at the helm, like Theodore Jaracz (wicked man--if Jehovah the Great God wants to destroy me for stating what I have stated, fine with me) and his dopes well will have some peace in the organization.

    But take heart LDh, mark this devilish ones thought, there is coming a time when these men well be in the same situation that this sister of ours and your parents are in.

    I hope we all will have a large enough heart to not treat them then as they have treated other.

    LDH, just set back, like Jehovah and Jesus Christ are doing and watch the show. It is going to be a good one.

    Your friend,


  • DevilsAdvocate_DA



    Sounds like these guys minds are in the sewer gutter.

    Waiting, this reminds me of a time I was giving a talk at a large gather. The pants I had on had four ways to close. I forgot one. My good wife was trying as well as a few other to tell my about it. I thought they were telling me I was doing a good job. After the meeting the whole gather was talking about my zipper being open. We had the best time in the world laughing about it. As you can see after 30 years I still laugh about it. If I would not have had those white underware on they would never been able to tell. Guess who plays with my zipper before every meeting for the past 30 years.

    Think they need to take another look at Gal. 5:22-3.

    Just my thought.


  • battman

    Recent "insperation" may reveal to the more mature
    that in love for the wayward and to reduce their
    "time out" the following is considered:

    1. row of stools in the corner, except if the hall has
    "rounds" so instead of being cornered by that
    "opposser" guy then precede to Chapter 3.
    of Tract #17 (out of print you say?)
    2. pointed hats required during time out
    3. hand painted "dunce" sign to be worn around neck.
    4. rite 500 times "I will not be so stupid as to either
    get caught or open my big mouth.
    5. right a 5000 word paper on the influence of the
    Great Pyramid on your choice of the following two
    A. Abraham (Lincoln that is)
    B. Moses (not to include construction details)
    C. Jimmy Carter (another great builder)
    D. John Denver (famous pilot and religious critic)
    E. fill in the blank
    F. C Tazer Russelitel, duh Judge and the "fredster"

    Neu Lite* indicated that your serious mature input is actually
    welcomed here.


    *non-alcoholic of course. (burp)

  • VeniceIT

    We always sat in the back rows, there's a lot more going on I hated sitting in the front, it was way tooooo boring.

    If I went back now that I'm DF'd I'd sit in the Front row with a big ol' tape recorder on my lap, and take extensive notes. When I got up to go to the bathroom, I'd take my time and try to catch everyones eye and smile at them. I'd smile and get the attention of all the little kids, just to horrify there parents. HAHHAHHAHAHA maybe it's a good thing that I'M NEVER going to step foot in one again if I can help it!!!!


  • mommy

    My father was Df and he always sat with us. Try getting 10 people ready for the Sunday meeting and figure out what time we showed up. Yep, late every Sunday, Tuesday, and come to think of it Thursday meeting We always sat where there was room enough for all of us.
    I am kicking myself right now. I often smiled, held doors open, and patted Df people on the back. Now I hope I wasn't encouraging them to stay. Come to think of it alot after reinstatement thanked me for my kind attitude. Maybe I was just reassuring them they were human. That is easier for me to look at it like that. (((HUGS)))

  • VeniceIT

    I was reading these to Mom, and she reminded me about the time my uncle from out of state was visiting and giving the public talk. It ws during the Olympics, so when he was finshing up his talk, we were sitting in the back row and we all held up 9's and 10's. He about lost it on the stage, and I don't think I had a clue what the WT study was about that day!!!! hahhahh ohh we were so bad!


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