How Much is Shunning Worth? (page 4)

LyinEyes

Sorry Xena you are having trouble with this. I am not going thru any family shunning like that ...yet.

My dad cut me off over a year ago,,,,,, I was stilll an elders wife.LOL and he has been each year since my mom died over 17 yrs ago steadily putting more emotional distance between us. I swear I gave and tried and never was unkind to him or his wife. I tried everything a person could do to have a relationship with this so called "good JW man", but I guess I am nothing but a reminder of a family who he wished dead. I am totally being serious here. He wanted my mother dead, she is. My sister was nothing but a pain to him , and she d/a herself 2 years ago, but she hasnt really been a JW her whole life. She never reached out to him like I always did, she just gave up years ago. I knew he was all I had left, and being in the truff ,he was my only real family, so I tried for that long. I swear I hate myself for that........ I spent 17 yrs begging him to love me, to get to know his grandchildren, and nothing............. we live 40 miles apart and even 2 yrs ago,,,,, we had a shop for work 5 mins from his house. He came by once. I wish I could take all of my tears and time from all those years and slap him right over the head with them. Wasted time, it is embarassing to say how bad he has treated me. And this all happened mostly until a year ago, while I was his good little JW daughter still........ " the one who he knew would be ok",,,,,,,,,,,, haha yeah thanks to the wonderful world of apostacy,,,,,,,,, LOL....... I am ok. No thanks to that abusive man. Even as a grown woman,,,, he has tried to continue to abuse me in an emotional way.

I totally agree ,,,,,,,,,,some people are so toxic,,,,,,, you have to get the hell away from them.

Xena, only you know the best way to handle your cousin,,,,,,,,, you know her emotional state and what she can handle as far as you telling her off or not. Sometimes I too, still feel sorry for many of the dubs that are still in ,,,,,,, they are doing what they are told and are too scared to break free.

Maybe in time you can slowly help her to free herself from the WT bonds.

Hey,,,,,,, just wanted to remind you how nice it was to meet you , hubby and darlin' little girl in Dallas.

Huggssss Dede

( Sorry Xena,,,,,,, I think I was venting a bit ( LOL) in this post ,,,,,, but I feel your pain , sista!

refiners fire

My JW niece called me last night on the phone. She is having a Pampered Chef Party

Let me get this right. Shes having a party, you arent allowed to attend. But she still wants you to buy stuff so she can make money off you. is that correct??

Well, what do you think I would say to that??

It wouldnt be very nice. At the least, dont send her an "inability to attend" card,send her an "inability to line your pocket" card. Id probly write her a note and draw an analogy. Theres a fish and chip shop down the road. The owner wont allow me on the premises because Ive got dark hair. But he still wants to sell me fish and chips.So Im allowed to slip my dinner orders into a slot in the door. I can wait outside and when theyre ready a bus boy will bring them out to me, but im not allowed to speak to the bus boy.

What do these people think you are????

Edited by - refiners fire on 7 September 2002 18:36:43

teejay

Theres a fish and chip shop down the road. The owner wont allow me on
the premises because Ive got dark hair. But he still wants to sell me
fish and chips.So Im allowed to slip my dinner orders into a slot in
the door. I can wait outside and when theyre ready a bus boy will bring
them out to me, but im not allowed to speak to the bus boy.

Interesting post, Refiners.

Having grown up in the Deep South in the 60s, your words bring to mind certain memories. Weird that you'd say this. Very appropriate, but still weird.

plmkrzy

I am not invited....BUT my niece would like me to buy some stuff and to make up for shunning me she is offering to give me HER hostess discount....woohoo huh?

MegaDude

Xena,

Tell your niece you would like to purchase some items from her, but that you are prohibited from doing so as are you are starting a new line of cooking products called "The Pampered Apostate" and can't buy from your competition.

waiting

First, I would call her - and tape the conversation - wherein you ask her if she was really serious that she, as a faithful jw, would not invite an xjw to her party - but would sell to her privately at a discount? Thank her for her jw stand - and could she please send a catalog?

Second, then I'd write the headquarters of Pampered Chef and transcribe that part of the tape where one of their approved hostesses is practicing discrimination ..... and is that in line with their Corporate Rules ..... and would they put that in writing?

Third, I'd sure as hell put a "cc" at the bottom of the letter to any damned attorney I knew - or didn't know.

You MIGHT get some serious satisfaction from this. As mentioned above, what this typical jw did was in "violation of your civil rights." I guess, she just figured since you were family - you wouldn't tell. The difference? This JW did it on the job......major difference.

Lol................if nothing else - I sure would tell her EXACTLY what she did - perhaps copy your letter to her also? Even if you really don't send it to Pampered Chef Headquarters. I'm guessing it would make her think twice before she pulls an ignorant - and unlawful - stunt like that again.

Btw, even though she's probably considered a type of subcontractor to Pampered Chef - and not an employee......the fact is, I'm betting that they would be moaning at even the thought of what could happen to them if this PR nightmare hit the fan.

Go for it ----- make a statement - she did.

waiting

Edited by - waiting on 8 September 2002 10:6:51

Xena

Thank you for all your comments and suggestions!

anewlife it sucks the way that sister and her mom treated you! Sounds like we know some of the same people..lol JW's!

teejay I feel for her too, her life is very sad right now and she doesn't see any way out!

lol ya'll one of the reasons I to the pampered chef parties for the food....they cook some great stuff But I can do without the overpriced goods, so I will probably just not get anything from anyone this go around. I tend to buy and go to these things mainly to support family members and friends (and eat the food)...not feeling real supportive right now though!

very good illustration RF...might use that on her and see what she thinks!

ROFL at the "Pampered Apostate" Mega hey if I have a party will you come?????

waiting...remind me NEVER to get you mad at ME!!!!! I don't know, like I said her life is pretty sad right now...she is 20 years old with a baby and married to a guy who has no future to speak of...they are just scraping by and that barely. And lets face it, I still care about her, she was a little sister/daughter to me for a very long time! I just don't think I could do it waiting....tempting as it is at times!

I think I will do a pass on the "discounted" offer and at a later date try and use the illustration RF gave and hopefully that will help her see how hurtful her "cultish" actions have been...

Edited by - Xena on 8 September 2002 14:1:10

Scully

Xena:

I've scanned through the posts, and felt the need to mention one point that has been overlooked:

Your niece gets FREE STUFF from Pampered Chef in DIRECT PROPORTION to the sales from her party. She may have offered you her "hostess discount", but honey she's counting on your doh-ray-me to help her rake in MORE good stuff for HERSELF. If she was truly being generous, she would have offered to let you share some of the FREE stuff she was getting for having the party.

This is how all home party sales operations work. Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Fantasia, etc. All of them are pups from the same litter.

Dubs are so shallow - and this is a prime example - you aren't good enough to invite over for a meal in her home, you aren't good enough to go to a movie with, your kids get shunned, you get shunned - but when there's something IN IT FOR THEM, they put all the supposed "rules" aside and can bless you with their presence.

I'd tell her "F*CK YOU AND THE DISCOUNT YOU RODE IN ON".

Love, Scully (aka The Tupperware Lady)

PS: I wonder if we could do an on-line ex-JW only Pampered Chef party. I want one of their pizza stones!!

Edited by - Scully on 8 September 2002 14:41:39

animal

I am with Skully on this one.... I woulda treated her like a telemarketer.

Animal

anewlife

Scully: I like your idea....but must say, it was the pizza stone ($35 + tax) that I bought that simply cracked down the middle one day. No reason...as I took care of it according to directions, but should you organize one....send me an email....there's other things I like! LOL

How Much is Shunning Worth?

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