Should we care about "lurkers"?

by expatbrit 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • expatbrit

    Hi Tina:

    I'd just like to mention that when I refer to "lurkers" I don't just mean JW's, but rather anyone who may be looking at the site whatever their background. If a lot of them are being turned away by the conduct on a discussion board, that is when I think the board is unbalanced and extreme.

    I'm not referring specifically to any one board or persons postings. My post is a general observation on what I have seen and think about this particular subject.

    Your college illustration is a very good one. People do all those things at college (believe me, I know, I used to live near Cambridge University!) And when they graduate they generally turn into fine people. What they don't do (usually) is continue that behaviour to the extent that it drowns out everything else. This is where ex-JW boards frequently differ from real life.

    As for whether you've seen one pair of boobies, you've seen them all, I'll have to get back to you on that one when I've seen them all.


    p.s. Truthseeker: LOLOL! I do enjoy a nice savoury bit of sarcasm! And the point is well made. In fact, trying to make a discussion board look "perfect" a'la Stepford is yet another form of extremism.

    Edited by - expatbrit on 28 August 2002 17:20:11

  • teenyuck

    Simon, expat, Thanks! LOL at both. Simon, I was not aware of you being on holiday when that happened. However, it was funny...

    Somehow I missed Keanu! I will search. Now.

  • Simon

    I can't remember the thread it was on but I think it had something to do with expatbrit being crucified for criticising his acting (dis)ability.

    I don't want to get back on the subject but I do think there is a big difference (socially) between breasts and penis's. I am a little confused that you say you don't like porn on the site but then say you posted a picture of a large penis?! I think these pictures were deleted when we returned but I admit I am not as strict against moderately "revealing tops for women" as I don't consider them to be as extreme. This could be male bias or social conditioning (as the rest of the world seems to have the same opinion) but I apologise if you think it was unfair.

  • expatbrit

    OK Keanu is totally unacceptable in any context. I can't even begin to imagine how many potential viewers were turned off watching the Matrix because he was in it.


  • ashitaka

    Do we have a true responsibility to lurkers? Not really. Can we have a responsibility if we wish? Sure. That should be up to the individual, though.

    I know that in New Jersey, as a 22 YO, the words f--- and s--- and damn are no big deal. Every woman I know uses them a lot. My own wife does. (She slipped in front of my parents once, you should've seen their faces)Everyone says them, except for old-timers or bible thumpers. Other than that, it's a very free place to live.

    Me personally, I enjoy peppering my speech with f-bombs and the like, whenever possible. Then again, I am 22 years old. I think my generation is the generation of excess, but I don't see the harm in it. Words. Worthless words.

    I think I'm tired of putting up pretenses for people. Sometimes you just want to let loose. I think any lifetime JW will answer in that vein. Being repressed for a long time, especially through childhood, really makes you go bonkers when it's all over.

    We're ususally pissed, very pissed, when we leave. It's natural to use expressions which offend others who have not experienced what we have. I have horrible language combos to describe the witch of a mother-in-law that I have, but I wouldn't say it here, or on any other board. It's too horrible for words.

    Lurkers need to see the whole smash to get a real view of things.....the pain...the joy of being free...and the act of being free. One part of the act is to be ourselves. The other is to be considerate when asked. I have no problem slimming down the curses for people, but doing it all of the time; and for who? Other people. Why?

    I want to be selfish and stop thinking about others for a while. As a JW you live your entire life for others; the Elders, Parents, Wives, congregation, the WTBTS, the WORLD (in the sense that we have to convince them how great JWs are). It's exhausting, and I'm exhausted.

    There's enough information on JW themed websites to give them what they need. We here have nothing else we are required to give, only support if it is asked of us.


  • teenyuck

    Simon, that thread was started by someone (I cannot remember, but it ws a woman) in response to the boob threads.

    Once it got started, it rolled. It was a joke, "if you guys post boobs, we will post penises", but, it was a joke. Then it got out of hand...lots of pics. I did post a graphic photo, which others took and altered. That is the only time I have ever looked at what I would consider graphic photo's on a website. Until I came to this board, I didn't know how to post a picture. See what you all taught me?!

    My definition of porno would be 2 people "doing" it. Or poses to show off "private" parts. (like the one I posted and apologized for-please remember) The way I posted it was meant as a joke in the context of the thread. I got caught up in the thread with a lot of others.

    I don't mind the boobs on a thread. Since I am a woman, I compare what they have to mine. Then I decide if they are silicone or real. Then I wonder how they all look so different, yet men's penises don't. (at least in my limited experience)

    My point in bringing up that thread was the difference back then and now...when I lurked, there were lots of nasty words and pics flying around. You would remove the pics which is fine by me.

    My final word (I must go make dinner) is that I do not think a lurker or JW doubter would remain a JW because of curse words, in the context of the discussion, or because of almost naked boobs on an ex-jw DB. I think that if and when they are ready to leave and post they will. Heck, enrollment here went up double since I started. Even with the flame wars and words.

    Take care all, my domestic goddess side is coming out. Martha Fxxxing Stewart, you know.

  • LB

    Aaaaah yes the famous penis head where my face was placed on the head of a penis. A place for which it is not designed to be.

  • Englishman


    You don't like a head near your penis?



  • ISP

    I find the catty in-fighting to be far worse than boobies.


  • teenyuck

    Ok, I swear, last word...Pasta is cooking.

    ISP, so do I.

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