Should we care about "lurkers"?

by expatbrit 48 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  waiting

  Btw, about those lurkers........I was one of them a couple of years ago.

  Should we coddle them? lol. Should we show them the same respect that we show worldly people in a grocery store, bank, library, bar? I think so - and I wish to behave as to not be overly obscene to what I feel in my neck of the world is considered common courtesy.

  I've been to other worldly forums............sometimes it's beyond belief at how civil they can be - even in the midst of a deep argument! Those worldly people...............

  waiting
• 

  Sentinel

  Yes, we should "care" about them.

  If I were still "in", and had questions like I did years ago, with no where to turn, you bet I'd be here, looking around for answers. But, I'd be "lurking around", probably reading moreso than trying to post. One always has to remember that a JDub is full of guilt and fear anyway, so coming here would be a big step--even to just read.

  But for a JDub, still in, to post is quite something else indeed. What a brave thing they have done. I would never wish to scare away anyone of that persuasion. I'm not out to try and "convert" back out anyone who is still "in". That's their trip, their life. But, all the same, I'd like to think that if they read my posts, they would see some help and love and balance. They would see a nice cross section of normal, everyday people who are living life honestly and openly, without the bondage of a cult.

  They have always been taught, like we were, that the "world" is a scary place, full of evil people just waiting to take away your great gift of the "truth" and lead you down a path of destruction.

  I'm trying to be a friend to all. My posts are honest. I'm a serious kind of person, so I guess most of my posts come off that way. I do have a sence of humor, and the subject does not always have to be serious, it can be fun too. That's another thing about the JDub world, everything is so @#$% serious. No one in a cult can ever relax and just enjoy living.

  But, on the other hand, I want to be free to express myself openly without worrying that I'll offend someone who is still in the borg. I think if we just remember where we came from and all the pain associated with the "withdrawal", and how we had to learn slowly to not put everything in our life into one neat little bundle, then we won't have to worry if there are "lurkers".

  And, if they are here in a dishonest way, that's their choice and we will most likely figure them out. Still, when you think about it, what better way to scope something out, than to "pretend" to be like everyone else.

  Okay, I'm done now.

  Karen
• 

  OUTLAW

  Unless your a real jerk,your welcome to be yourself on this board..That is one of the charms of this board...OUTLAW

  Edited by - OUTLAW on 29 August 2002 21:59:15
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  Sentinel

  Outlaw,

  I totally agree with your brief reply.

  As an analogy to the situation, we have been in a draught here for months, not to the point yet of restrictions, but very close to it. Outside of a few sudden storms, we had not had a day of just steady rain for a long time. Then Tuesday night it began to rain, that lingering kind of slow steady stuff, and it lasted all evening, all night, and all the next day. Just the sound of it made me happy.

  In all honesty I FELT LIKE STRIPPING DOWN NAKED AND RUNNING AROUND IN OUR YARD shouting "thank you" for this beautiful wet stuff. Of course, using common sense and some dignity, I DID NOT DO THAT. However, I did walk slowly into my work place, without an unbrella, and I didn't mind getting wet at all. It felt so good.

  To me, that's something like this forum. We can't always just type out what we are feeling. We need to think before we type. We know what is allowed and what is curteous, and what is good common sense. It's up to us individually to practice these restraints among ourselves when we post to this public place.

  Sentinel/Karen
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  Elsewhere

  I think all lurkers should be Drawn and Quartered unless they swear an oath of allegiance to all that is apostate!!!!
• 

  Englishman

  I think that this was one of the most fascinating threads of 2002.

  Englishman.
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  MYOHNSEPH

  Got nothing to say. Just lurking today!
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  yumbby

  I guess I'll add my opinion all with the others. I feel to change the way we are and what we say in case someone might see us is really an insult to to some lurkers intelligence. If we are all adults, when we or someone else sees an argument or a lewd conversation, the reasonable thing most people do is to just not be a part of it if it makes you uncomfortable. And if you are afraid it might turn off "potential apostates" you have to look at the purpose of this site. Is it really strictly an informational site? no. Is is strictly a support site? Is is just a place for people to talk? no. but maybe all of the above, and I think that anyone with half a brain that vists can discern that after just a few minutes reading especially the nice way simon has laid out the forum topics. I don't think we should worry about lurkers, if its a true blue witness, then they won't come back, if its someone just questioning, I think (maybe wrongly) that they will be attracted to everyone's friendliness and there complete unwitness like behavior. I know I was. It was were I could finally talk freely, with like minded people who understood were I was coming from. And If i'm offended by a post I simply read something else. No one is forcing it on me. The world is getting so politically correct, soon we will be refering to each other as homo sapiens, or humans, and not be gender specific, and we'll be forced to call our dogs canines out of fear of hurting there feelings. Everything is just getting out of hand. well... just my opinion, about as important as nothing, but there you go.
• 

  yumbby

  One more thing. sorry, I reread the first post and I must append. I feel that we have all gotten comfortable with each other like we are hanging out in each others homes, and in a way we are... so we "let our hair down" as the saying goes, and probably to an outsider somethings would be offensive, and this is I guess a public forum, however anyone reading for more than a couple minutes could tell this is not a pro-watchtower site. And I've belonged to a lot of discussion and chat groups, and all of the healing ones, whether it is from abuse, religion, drugs or whatever, start to get the flavor and attitudes of this one, I think its the support forum way, it just seems to always follow this path when it is a support sort of forum. If you've ever spent time in a mental hospital or home, or even group therapy session, you'll see a lot of the same behaviour exhibited here. So in that way, It really wouldn't appeal to a regular joe on the street, because really he wouldn't understand what is behind a lot of what everyone says. wow. I'm really rambling. sorry.