Should we care about "lurkers"?

by expatbrit 48 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  teenyuck

  I must clarify:

  I am in no way saying porn is OK. You can get it anywhere; I don't think it is acceptable for this site.

  On the other hand, when pics of almost naked women are shown, no one says a word. Everything shows, but the nipple kinda thing. You men know exactly what I am referring to. It does not bother me because the context of the thread tells you that there is something that will titillate you. (no pun, honest).

  When pics of penises were put up, every one cried foul. Not the whole package, just penises. Remember? I apologized for posting a big one. I think someone put LB's head on it. It was funny. However, the point of the thread was started off like a dirty joke. You knew you were not going to find recipes for chicken on that thread. If the thread was about Abraham, Issac and Jacob, it is wrong.

  When someone has a semi-dirty joke, I don't see what the issue is. We talk about women's periods without blinking an eye.

  I just think that the average JW, with an office job, has seen this kind of stuff and worse at work. They may never admit it, however, they have seen it. It is almost impossible not to.

  I think the issue of what constitues foul language needs to be addressed (just by me, this is my opinion). I can watch NYPD Blue on ABC and hear the cops say all kind of words that are banned here. I can turn on basic cable and watch FX channel and a show called The Sheild. The lead actor says words that would make the writers of NYPD Blue blush. However, in the context of the conversation, I can see cops saying things like that. That is more real than Barney Miller. (which I loved)

  That is what I miss here. The option to use a word in the context of the discussion.
• 

  Englishman

  I've been persuaded that it's unrealistic for us ex's to have to always be still concerned about being "a cause for stumbling" in our posts. Lurkers have to make the leap sometime.

  However, my Brit upbringing, call it what you will, does recoil most alarmingly at the use of certain words and expressions.This isn't witness thinking, this is my Englishness. Or maybe it's just that younger posters from other parts of the world don't find obscenity a problem.

  To explain: Brits swear and blaspheme more than any other nation. We have zillions of curse words. I use 'em all the time! But they're on a sort of sliding scale, with "damn" at one end, "bloody" somewhere in the middle and the dreaded F word at the extreme end. Use of the F word in print offends many Brits, use it in front of a lady and you might be told to shut up by other Brits within earshot. That's not demeaning to women either, just us being courteous.

  So most Brits will feel uncomfortable with a post where that word is present ( I can feel Celtic breathing down my neck here! ) and will tend to avoid sites where it is present. Which is a shame when that site may also contain other, more useful information.

  Englishman.
• 

  teenyuck

  E-man, you finally said what so many of us were trying to figure out. WHY?

  Perhaps it is different in the US. Like I said above, you can turn on basic TV channels and hear many bad words. Just about up to the "F" word.

  Thanks for finally telling us.
• 

  Englishman

  Puffsrule,

  Youre probably about right! Hey, I have a great collection of dirty jokes,some of them I could tell here if I cleaned 'em up a bit!

  Englishman, who has something large and hairy sticking out of his pyjamas.

  His head.
• 

  truthseeker1

  We must preserve the Appearance of this board. We must protect it at all costs. Do anything to make the board not look bad. Lie, cheat steal, whatever it takes. The important this is to let the rest of the world think we are a good wholesome board. Before you type anything, ask yourself "Does it look good that I am writing this?" If your answer is "It just doesn't look good" then you shouldn't write it.

  (for all those who dont notice, I was being sarcastic)
• 

  Englishman

  Truthseeker,

  Nah, how can you have a wholly wholesome holy board? That idea is full of holes.

  Englishman
• 

  Granny Linda

  Many moons ago I stumbled across a site for former JW's, and in my naive state of thinking recovery had something to do with issues other than sex, sex, and more of the same...I didn't like it. I was interested in reading how people were dealing with their exit out of that religion; not who did who. Although I could understand the sexual repression many suffered (self included).

  Today, years later, I've come to appreciate that forums differ, period. I think it's important to read through any site and get a feel for what's there. If we don't like what we see on some threads, it's easy enough to pass by. Recovery is gonna be about lots of different things at different times.

  This board seems to have a semblance of balance with whatever one wishes to express at the moment. I'm not that concerned with censorship or lack of...sometimes I just go from site to site because my mood can determine what I'm interested in reading or viewing.

  Granny...who can enjoy the more adult content at times, too.
• 

  SYN

  Personally, obscenity to me is usually extremely amusing - it really makes me laugh very hard sometimes. Thank Ghod there is now another board where we can be as obscene as we like!

  Just my 0.02$!
• 

  Simon

  In my defense puffsrule, the penis thread was something that happened when we were away on holiday (one of the considerations for having some people able to lookout for things)

  I take your point about the double standards though - I am probably the first to click on threads with semi-clad women in them. I will try to behave in future (I'm getting better ... I didn' delete the Keanu pics !)
• 

  DannyBear

  Expat,

  *** But if we put off JWs and average "worldly" people because of our extreme anti-social and emotionally unbalanced behaviour as a group, that is something we should feel considerably ashamed of, and try to improve on. If most people who come into contact with us are repulsed, perhaps some self-analysis of our behaviour would be a good thing. In this case, saying we should "be ourselves" goes beyond an exercise of freedom and becomes a denial of social responsibility, and a breaking of the social ***

  This was brilliant!

  I can honestly say, that I have seen more malicious overtly profane personal attacks on myself and other's on these boards, than I have ever witnessed in real life. Thats a fact.

  Really enjoyed reading your thoughts.

  Danny