Name Your Funniest Experience Out In Service

by Dismembered 36 Replies latest jw experiences

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  bigfloppydog

  I Meant I was driving a TRUCK at the time, guess I am not quite awake yet.
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  rocky220

  LMAO@ Sentinel.....Great story!!!! rocky220
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  VeniceIT

  OMG these are great, ok where to start. For some reason with me everyday in service was an event I was always doing something stupid, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Here's a few that I can remember.

  OK I'll try not to get too confusing. We were out in service one afternoon, my mother, aunt, friend, and other pioneer sister. Well, the sister's twin sister had asked us to stop at the funeral home that afternoon because an older sister in their hall had died and the family would be up visiting from CA and she thought it would be nice for us to visit them. None of us had ever met her or heard of her before, but you know how boring service could be, we welcomed the break. We get to the funeral home and theirs no one there. So the sister goes up to the desk to ask after the family, but all we have is the name of the deceased. So the Lady says ohh OK follow me. So we're like lallalalallala walking down the hallway ready to smile and hug the family you know. Well, she takes us in this room that's empty save for a CASKET on the far wall. She leaves and shuts the door. Whe're like ummm uhhhh ummm uhhhhhhhh well there she is. The deceased was a 94 year old black lady in a purple suit. We had not been prepared to see the body. My friend and I were kinda freaked and hung back a bit. My Mom and the other two thought walked over and were admiring her suit. Mom said 'Well she looks great for being 94', I said 'she looks great for being DEEEAAAADDDDD!'
  So here we are in the room, no family just the dead lady, and we're trying to figure out how much time should we allow before we leave. So we sign the guestbook (the family's probably still trying to figure that one out), and then we all kinda got the giggles because it was soo bizarre and we were rather nervous. Anyway the lady that worked there finaly came back and she was all upset, she said 'umm your actually not supposed to be I mean I shouldn't have ummm unlesss ahhh, 'Are you family'"? Well, at this our eye's all popped, we choked a bit and said 'umm no no we're not' and I almost lost it, hopefully we looked tearful on our departure and barely made it to the car before we started laughing hysterically. We couldn't drive for about 10 min and had to go to coffee break. HAHHAHAHHAH!

  When we worked out in the rural country on a hot day, we'd go to the door individually so we didn't have to get out as much. One day I went by myself to a door where the man is known to be rather nasty. Well, his daughter was home and very nice and invited me in. We got into a rather deep discussion and so I was in for quite some time. There were 5 in the cargroup that day, and one Frank got worried. Soooo Frank sends my friend Joel to the door to check on me. So Joel comes sneaking around the house and well she sees him because the door is open. So he just smiles and explains their concern and then she invites him and he sits down. We were going through the 7 times in Daniel (don't ask why) and so we continue on. Well, Frank is still concerned because now Joel hasn't retuned either. So after a while he sends Ronda to the door to check on us. Well, we hear her walking in her boots and got the giggles. I by this time was getting pissed. I mean here I had this great call, really getting deep and these morons keep interrupting me. Besides if I was being attacked I'd a screamed, and I'm tougher then either one of them, anyway Ronda is spotted and invited in. The conversation goes on and we're in Revelation with all the signs and symbols. Then her son wakes up from her nap and so we kinda break it up and are standing talking, ready to take our leave, to MY HORROR, I hear footsteps, not just one set, but two. Frank and Jerry could no longer stand the suspense and were walking up the path, so I tried to make a hurried departure so she wouldn't see them too, but to no avail. She was laughing soo hard by this time, but thought it was soo sweet they were concerned. I was ready to kill the whole lot of them!!!!! I mean if Franks was so concerned and worked the group into a frenzy why didn't he just come himself in the first place, the rest would never have left the car. OR when Ronda heard our voices why didn't she got back the car and report we were alive. Joel was pissed at the fact Frank would send Ronda in to check on HIM hahhaha!!!
  Needless to say I drove straight to a coffee break and tried not to kill them all!!!

  One day in service there were 5 of us in the van. My Mom was driving, another sister was in the front, Nathan was sitting next to me, and my sister was in the back. We go though the Taco Bell drive through at lunch, and I had to go poddy. So I just got out of the car, went, and came back just as their pulling out, so I decide to make it real quick and just pop into the van. Well, I'm standing on the sidewalk, which puts be up about 6 inches. So when I 'jump' into the van I smack my head on the top and black out and crumple in the stairwell. My Mom has not noticed and starts to drive off, So Nathan reaches over to grab me but is laughing sooooo hard he just falls across my seat. My sis is in the back in absolute hysterics, with tears streaming down her face. Mom finally catches on and pulls over. I come to and try to sit up, slowly Nathan helps me into my seat. By this time I have a huge gooseegg on my head and it's a lovely shade of purple. My sis and Nathan laughed the entire day, I don't know if they ever got out of the car again I know I sure didn't. I stayed the night at my sisters and started slurring my speech really bad, so I went to the DR the next day and I'd had a concussion and ruptured some arteries in my head, nice eh? I could feel the blood dripping inside my head, man I whacked it. Well, from them on for years to come EVERY time I saw Nathan he's laugh and say 'ohh man that was the funniest think I ever say, Like Mike Tyson sucker punched you or something." He even reenacted it several times, once at a DC, he was lying on the floor at one point. HAHAHHAH it was pretty funny!!!!

  Our Congregation was the oldest hall in town, in more ways then one! We were known as the geritol congregation. One day Joel and I are stuck in the way back of this elderly brothers van. I don't think anyone else in the van knew we were there, they never thought to turn around. Finally after much yelling and I believe I was threatening to toss a pen they finally saw us back there and went to a call of Joels. So I get out ahead of him and have on a multilayered full skirt, well as I'm climbing out and stepping down my heel gets caught in my hem, and Joel's right behind me on the way out. Then I realize it's not my hem is like halfway up my skirt so if I stand up the elastic waistband is going to fall to my ankles, and I'll rip my skirt out. So I decide not to stand up which means I'm like squatting in the doorsil of the van. I'm laughing soo hard and try to explain to Joel what's happening. So he crawls over me gets out and tries to find my heel and un wedge it, well at some point I fall out and am laying on the sidewalk with Joel digging around in my skirts and my heel caught at a hideous angle, and I look up and not ONE SINGLE person in the van has even seen us flopping on the sidewalk. Well, that just cracks me up, and so there were are just sitting on the side walk in hysterics.
  We get up and start walking to the door but half my skirt is dragging behind me on the walk and I can't stop laughing so we decide to bail, got back in the van and didn't get out the rest of the morning, I don't think we ever stopped laughing either, but they never noticed hahahhaha.

  One morning when I had the oh so wonderful privilege of working with the CO we were in a full van yet again. I was in the back sitting next to a brother who was about as straight laced as they come. The CO was in the row in front and two brothers in the Front seat. Well, I'd already horrified the brother next to me by ripping his NH slip in half instead of making both groups rewrite all the numbers. I guess the NH slips are sacred ohh well he was fun to mess with. Well, we all get back to the van expect the other brother in the middle row. So the drive says let go pick him up as he's down the road aways. Well, the side door of the van is still open, brother straightlaced, stands up and leans forward to shut it, but he doesn't know our driver. Our driver is one of the scariest he had in the hall, and he shuts the side door by slamming on the gas and then the brake. Soooo he does this as the brother next to me stands up and leans forward which causes him to fly right over the middle seat and land on the CO! I died. I had mascara running down my face and this poor brother was soo horrified!!!! The CO was laughing as hard as I was, couldn't have happened to a better person ohhhhh yaaaa!!

  I guess maybe it's a good thing I only pioneer for 4 years........

  Ven
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  jws

  I remember one time my brother and I were out in service when, nestled in the middle of the street was a church. We figured, what the hell? It's Saturday, nobody's there. It just means more time until we actually have to face somebody. Well, to our surprise, somebody did answer. I don't know who was more surprised, him or us. He is obviously a clergyman of some sort and has this confused, "What in the world?" look on his face as if to say, "don't you guys know what this is?" I started in with the magazine presentation which he politely declined. We both walked away laughing.

  Another time, my brother and I had a call on this elderly woman in a retirement home. On our first time, she invited us in and listened to everything we had to say. She probably would have let us talk for hours, but I wasn't really the type of publisher to be prepared with much to say beyond offering magazines. At this point, as we're about to get up, she asks, "Should we pray?". I was caught totally off-guard. I was not used to praying in public, even at home and had never said prayer publicly. Something about the innocence of the question too. My first reaction was a sort of stifled laugh, with the thought "are you serious"? Well, I prayed and had to stop at least twice because I was giggling so hard. I don't know whether this is a "had to be there story", but for most of you ex-JWs, how often does somebody ask you to pray after a first visit?

  As we got older and had friends with cars to go out with (who hated it as much as we did), we covered so much territory. Our friend, Brandon would just drive down the street eyeing up each house, determining whether they were not-at-home by sight and carefully noted those on his service record card. We never even got out of the car.

  As has been noted by others, going to the door and not knocking seems to be more common than I thought. Well, we'd do that too, faking the pounding on the door, never really touching it or even making a sound. Then my brother and I would stand there for a while until enough time had passed that we leave and claim they didn't answer. Well, imagine our shock after standing outside for a few minutes, talking to each other after a fake knock, we realized that a guy had been sitting by an open screen window and not too easily visible because of the difference in lighting. He had been watching us the whole time and eventually spoke up and asked what we wanted. I felt so embarassed.
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  Unclepenn1

  Ha Venice! Too funny :)

  Penn
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  Dismembered

  to funny friends. keep them coming
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  Sunspot

  OMG!!! These are experiences PRECIOUS!!!

  Living in the upstate NY "snowbelt" and "Lake Effect Snow" from Lake Ontario, and we have sudden and strange storms here that will "hit" a small area and not "hit" a few roads away.Rural territories are the norm for this area. We had gotten an ice storm that coated the driveways with about 1/4" of glare ice, (not at MY house, so I had no idea) and as two brave undaunted JW sisters, we got out of the car to "test" the ice......

  As we stood on the householder's VERY SLOPED driveway, gravity (or whatever) took it's toll, and STANDING up all the way DOWN the driveway with our service bags, we politely SLID right up to the porch steps.

  After a quick "I'm not interested" we turned to go back to the car.......but gravity was NOT in our favor this time.....and it seemed an eternity (REALLY!) before we finished our "Bambi On Ice" routine and managed to climb back into that car!

  Another weather-related experience was when five of us sisters got about ten feet into a driveway (again on a steep slope) and the car got stuck---but GOOD! (In the meantime one of my daughters and a partner had trudged down to the house and put magazines in the door)

  All the usual methods didn't get us free, and after about 1/2 hour of struggling, one sister (we're ALL in skirts-pantyhose-etc, and freezing by this time) plodded back down to the house to get a shovel that we could see by the garage and brought it back up to try and shovel us out of this mess........and then...the householders RETURNED (we're completely blocking their driveway so THEY couldn't get in) and had to get US out so they could get home.....We all wanted to die right there......

  I DID have the unique experience of approaching an older man painting a fence in his side yard....only to have him WAVE that paintbrush at me and told me to GET OUT!!! I did.

  One of the last times I went out in service before I defected, it was extremely hot and humid, and after we had left the door and headed for the car----the lawn sprinklers went on full blast, totally drenching us and our bookbags......(but it felt SOOOO GOOD!!! LOL!)

  Great thread, BTW!

  hugs,

  Annie
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  VeniceIT

  Ok a friend of mine told me this one tonight and I had to share.

  She's out in service by herself and goes up to the door, she knows the people are home. They have one of those woodpecker door knockers, so she pulls his tail and knocks on the door a few times...nothing....no one comes,sooo she decides to try again and knocks a few times. Well, when she does this the nose of the woodpecker breaks off and she picks it up thinking 'Ohhh God what am I to do?' Well this young nice looking man answers the door, she holds the broken appendage out to him and says 'your pecker broke'! To which the poor guy about dies laughing... Our poor young sister could hardly now explain that she was there to discuss religious matters, needless to say she did not do a return visit on this poor man

  Ven
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  CC Ryder

  My cousin and I were out in service with two MS in their early twenty's and they asked us to work together for awhile. I think they needed to talk about something they did'nt want us to hear. We were both around 15 or 16. We went to this one door and knocked. A young women in her late twenty's came to the door and was wearing only a bra and panties. She stood there without covering herself and listened to our nervous and stuttered introduction. I think she was doing it on purpose because she saw how young we were. After finally getting to offering the mags she said sure I'll take them and handed us the change. Both of us couldn't believe it. We went right back to the car where the two MS's were waiting for us. When we told them what happened they jumped out of the car and went to the door and knocked. They later told us she had a robe on and said that two "boys" were just there and she got some mags. They told us that they said "oh, were sorry mame, sometimes we get our wires crossed"....Yeah right....!!

  One of the MS is still an elder and the other one got DF'ed about 10 years after this happened. He was DF'ed for apostosy, go figure, my guess would have been sexual misconduct or something. I know he's still out, but I do not know if he posts here.

  I've got alot of stories out in service that are pretty funny ....I'll tell some more later.

  CC
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  CC Ryder

  Sun...Ven...Those stories were great!!!...I wish I could have seen your "Bambi on ice" routine....ROFLMAO!!....Ven..tell your friend that was too funny!!

  CC