August KM Fall Out

by writerpen 40 Replies latest jw friends

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  ApagaLaLuz

  I recently wrote a letter to my mother giving her examples and proof as to why I don't believe JWs are right. Since then our relationship has grown. Last night was Tuesday and they had their Theocratic Ministry School. She called me last night after the meeting to talk about my nephew and she ended by telling me she loved me. I'm going to my parent's house after work today. My parent's used to be an Elder and a Pioneer.

  So far, they've been treating me great. I even have a sister who isn't a JW who is coming to visit them next month. Mom asked me if wanted to come to their Bar B Que. Imagine that, they're actually going to EAT with me.

  <chevy>
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  larc

  Sorry to hear about your daughter, Witchy. In our case, my sister took a hard stance in 1981, which did not soften for many years. Her positive change was percipitated by our dealing cooperatively with my terminally ill mother. Since then, my sister and I have had a good relationship. My wife did tell my sister that if she took a hard stand again because of something in the literature, that we were done with her. We shall see what happens.
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  writerpen

  larc -

  My wife did tell my sister that if she took a hard stand again because of something in the literature, that we were done with her.

  That's great. I think too many that leave the organization allow the WTBS to have control in family situations. By your wife stating the above, you and she have complete control and demonstrate that the WTBS is not going to control the situation. And if your sister does stop talking to you as a result of this KM, then I would be "done with her," and continue with your life. This is the stand I'm trying to develop with my parents. Thanks for the advice that shines through in sharing your story.
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  witchywoman

  Mulan, you are right there is no change, it is the same material that I remember, even twelve years back. I`m sure too many were lax, as was my daughter, and the GB needed to tighten their grip. All so as to help them to cover their own a_ses with all of the internet and media exposure.

  Perhaps it is because I am very angry right now but writerpen I fully understand why you make that stance. This young lady has done this three times. I am trying to come to terms with whether or not being so acceptable of her religion is the right thing for me. I am trying to work it out. In the meantime yes, the e-mails have come to a dead halt.

  witchywoman
• 

  bluesapphire

  My sister has taken this stand even though I'm not da or df.

  My mother-in-law on the other hand (whom we shunned for three years until recently) has chosen to continue a relationship with us since I am pregnant with her first grandchild. She is under the impression that she is going to "soften" us. She constantly talks about how wonderful it'll be when the baby is at the meetings (barf).

  My husband and I are at odds right now because of this. The whole reason we shunned her was because she was a manipulative, instigating, lying bitch! So I want my husband to make it clear to her that our child will NEVER EVER SEE THE INSIDE OF A KINGDOM HALL. And I want him to instruct her that if she ever "plants seeds" such as Christmas is bad, birthdays are bad bla bla bla, she will be outed once and for all. Of course he is having a hard time as usual standing up to mommmeeeee.

  Anyways, we are having a baby shower and we are inviting our disfellowshipped friends. We also still have witness friends that still talk to us. He thinks we shouldn't invite the witness friends without telling them. I disagree. I think we should disregard all the Watchtower rules and invite who we choose without so much as a thought and let the cards fall where they fall. Because of this August KM, I think it'll be very interesting to say the least. Especially with my MIL.
• 

  writerpen

  witchywoman,

  I've been in therapy for several years now, and about two months ago I had this great awakening - I finally felt within me what it would be like to leave my dysfunctional family behind and move on with my life. And I must admit, it felt like a weight had been lifted off of me and nothing but wonderful prospects are ahead. Not being tied down to worrying about my family and what they will think of me and if they will talk to me and what I need to do to make them like me, is a release that I cannot explain. This release has also included non-JW family members whose views are nothing but that of bigots. I was always afraid of being left behind by them if I pursued my hearts desires, whether that be marrying a black man, living a lesbian lifestyle, spending most of my spare time with the homeless (can you believe they don't like me "hanging" out with the homeless), pursuing the career I want to pursue, etc. And in feeling this relief and understanding that I don't need them, I have left them behind and freed myself.
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  blacksheep

  Obviously, the JW leaders felt the need to refocus attention on the article because they perceive JWs have gotten lax with respect to shunning. Therefore, I think it is quite logical to expect our JW relatives to exhibit more "appropriate," stricter behavior with their DA'd, DF'd (or any variety thereof) relatives. Even though nothing has technically changed, the
  WTS evidently felt people's individual behavior toward their non-active, etc., relatives was remiss.

  I'm glad to have found out this increased emphasis on how to treat non-active/DF/DA JWs: otherwise I'd have no exposure to it. Personally, based on my mother and sister's behavior toward me of late, I think they've definately taken the shunning emphasis to heart. I figured something was up, and I had already mentioned this to dh.

  All I can say, is too bad for them. They made their bed: they'll lie in it. I'm simply not going to put up with their controlling behavior: I put up with it for 20+ years as a JW. Now that I'm out and free, I want them to know that I have absolutely no respect for their manipulative behavior. I don't need a relationship with them so badly that I sacrifice my dignity, self-respect, and that of my family. Their behavior of late is affecting their ability to see their grandchildren/nephews/neices who are infants. They'll have to live with THEIR decisions in this area.

  I agree. I think too many people give their WBTS family WAAY too much control, even still.
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  larc

  Witchi, I think you hit a key point, the media exposure. I think they are restating the shunning position, so as to keep the members from getting negative information about the Organization from xJWs.
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  writerpen

  bluesapphire - by inviting who you want without telling other invited guests, means that you are controlling your life and not allowing the WTBS to dictate how you should act. Therefore, go for it! Make sure though, that you are mentally and emotionally prepared to have people leave your home in a rant - because the Witnesses will. As long as you are up to it, I say, you call the shots and let the chips fall where they may.

  blacksheep - thanks for your views. I agree whole-heartedly.
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  minimus

  I'm sorry to hear of some of the fallout because of this article. This stuff has always worked before, but if the JW's faith continues to become eroded, many "faithful" ones will secretly carry on with their relatives....kind of like forbidden practices in the bedroom, nobody talks about it but they all do it.