Leaving the Flock-Biggs is Almost Out!

by Mister Biggs 39 Replies latest jw experiences

  • joannadandy
    joannadandy

    *hugs to truthseeker1 and biggsy*

    I don't envy either of you guys, and I hope you both come out of this for the better...

  • LDH
    LDH

    Biggs,

    I wish I was there, I would give ya a hug!

    Besides emotionally, it looks like this whole thing has affected your sexual relationship with your wife too! That sucks.

    I hope the wedge that the WTBS has put between the two of you is not as strong as your love for your wife.

    I feel bad for ALL of you that don't have the freedom of being who you really are, and saying what you REALLY think about those assholes.

    I hope you make it out, Biggs. I love your posts.

    Lisa

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    {{{{{Biggs}}}}}

    {{{{{Nikita}}}}}

    {{{{{Quincy}}}}}

    It is great you have each other. As noted above, you will need strength Biggs. Let us know how things are.

  • Lin
    Lin

    I'm new to posting messages here, although I've been reading this site for some time now. I couldn't help but register once I read this post and write to you. I left the Org in '95, wrote a letter to the Elders telling them I no longer wanted to be considered a witness, and I was quickly df'd. It took me a couple years to come to the point of actually writing that letter, but I personally felt it was what I had to do. I knew ahead of time what the consequences would be as far as my family was concerned. I knew I would immediately lose all of them. That was the hardest part about deciding to leave, losing everyone I ever knew and loved, and being considered dead from that day on.

    I completely understand the difficulty you feel. I've stayed close to the Silentlambs site, and I post often there. It's a great comfort to me to be amongst others like me. All of my family, except for one brother who lives in Spain, are all *hardcore* witnesses. I have virtually no contact with any of them, other than occasional calls from my mother telling me someone in the family is seriously ill or has died. Now, with the change in the recent KM, I doubt I'll even get those calls. One thing I wanted to say, that you are probably already aware of, is that now....those who disassociate themselves are now treated as though they are df'd. There is no distinction now like there was before. Those who simply tried to leave quietly were still spoken to in stores, no one walked the other way to avoid you, etc. Now things are tightening up even more, and there is no more leaving quietly. Sooner or later they will catch up with those who disassociate and get booted out too officially.

    Stand tall and proud, and make the decision that you can live with. I did it, many others have done it, and we've felt much better for it. My thoughts are with you.

    Lin

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Path- I agree with your methods.

    Out4- If my legs could react as fast as my mind, I would have left by now. LOL

    LDH- You are my "girl" and I respect any words and hugs that you offer me. Thanks, boo!

    joanna & puffs- {{{{{}}}}} right back at you. Much love for you two!

    Lin- Welcome to JW.com. Thanks for the experience. It's reading posts like yours that reassure me of what I need to do and that it's the right thing to do.

  • zenpunk
    zenpunk

    Don't lose heart Biggs - I was once that zealous wife. It just takes some of us longer to figure it all out. (((((HUGS))))).

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    (((((((Biggs)))))& all the support group.

    Dont DA yourself....Just ride!! If you dont go to meetings,Still tell wifey how much you love her,

    Dont knock "MOTHER" they will leave you alone- but if you do go to meetings you will be marked.

    They will look for every excuse to DF you.

    Two of my kids just drifted.They still spoke to them in the Street-

    But what ever you do dont knock Mother( THE BORG)Else your wife will leave.

    Leave that to those of us -like me- who dont give a damn what they say or do....

    They have a lot to answer for .I wish I had a list of all those who killed themselves because of the Borg.

    ((((((Hugs))))

  • Nikita
    Nikita

    btttt for Biggs to see

  • Mister 8iggs
    Mister 8iggs

    Thanks, mouthy. I'm not sure where my road is going to lead to. But whatever happens, it won't break me or my spirit. Thanks for the advice and your sincere care.

    Thanks, Nikita, for bumping up this thread!

  • teejay
    teejay

    Biggs,

    My time here is getting more hit and miss as time goes one. It's hard to keep up with the threads... they come (and go) so fast. I'm just reading this thread.

    Four or five years ago I was where you are now. It's unreal... your situation fits mine almost to a tee. Except I have a three year old daughter now. That brings issues all its own...

    I remember the last few meetings I attended. After being raised in the truth and always looking forward to going to meetings and assemblies and seeing the friends, my attitude completely changed. I heard the "you're so negative", many times, too. Funny.

    The time came when just getting dressed to go was like torture but I still kept up the pretense for a while. I really tried to go with the right attitude and find something worthwhile, but it never failed that at some point during almost every meeting, some asinine statement would be made about "worldly" people, Armageddon ("right around the corner"), how great we (JWs) were, "god's chosen mouthpiece", blah blah.

    It would be something I'd heard a million times and never thought about but now, those kinds of statements got under my skin in a heartbeat. I'd get mad as hell and have to get up and go "check the parking lot" before I screamed out loud (never did that but came close a couple of times). I finally had enough and said 'to hell with this.' Haven't been to a meeting in years. Thankfully, the elders have done their part and stayed the hell away.

    I feel for ya, bruh. If you get a chance, shoot me an email. Seems like you have a good support group in place already, but maybe I can say something that'll help.

    Holla.

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