I'm not DA or DF'd and some of the people in my cong have started shunning me. I stopped attending meetings completely around 6 months ago, I told one person why I stopped going to meetings she in turn told some elders who then came over to "Encourage" me and my husband. Various ones in the cong have come by to say they've missed us etc. My daughters' "use to be" best friend is not allowed to associate with her anymore because her parents say we're Apostates. My daughter and I were in the store the other day and this other girl who I've known her whole life saw us and looked right at my daughter turned away and actually grabbed a cart and practically ran away from us. It kind of irked me, but then I told my daughter "hey for fun we could follow her and see if she runs out of the store"
How Many Here Have Been Shunned?
I was disfellowshipped in 1985. My children were ages 5, 3 and 6 months. My maternal grandparents, sister, brother and father were very close to me even though I had stopped attending meetings in 1980. At that time I lived 30 miles east of them but they visited often and I was never without them.
But I knew my days were numbered. My sister had shown me the September 1981 Watchtower and knew I was in disfellowshipping mode but because there were adorable nephews, nieces, grandchildren and great grandchildren they always visited. I really believed they could convince me to come back but I did not want to live in a divided household.
The axe fell in March of 1985 in the city I was living in at that time. Two months later the announcement was made in the congregation I grew up in. But you know they still came around until the final decree was made in my home city. I had my "worldly" friends to help mop up the blood.
Did time in the pysch ward December 1987 for depression. If that was depression what is a flow blown nervous breakdown? Was home for Christmas and that was the main thing. Witness family came to help with my children until I was "better". What a situation? My in-laws and jw relatives working together. But somehow the peace was maintained. It was almost humourous at times.
Don't want to turn this into a flown blown essay. I will have to admit that it hasn't been easy. As each year goes by it hurts less and less. In fact until I read some of these life stories I don't hurt at all. I hurt for those are still in going through the process. And everyone will recover and heal at a different pace.
I have filled my life with some very positive wonderful people and feel very blessed. Some of them are avid church goers, some are atheists some don't have a view point at when it comes to Biblical matters. But what counts is that they care for me and I for them.
Most of all I have those 3 wonderful children who have at certain times in their growing years have thanked me for setting myself free from that organization so they, too, could be free.
I was shunned but I was fortunate in that I had no family what so ever in the borg, just my husband and nine year old son and they stood by me.
When we moved across the country, it was easy to leave it all behind, just the 'so called friends' and I don't miss a single one of them. It is such a joke that they talk about all the love they have among them.
I guess I had it easy compared to most.
At the moment my two brothers shun me. It was very hard to take since we grew up very close to each other. Also some very close friends of mine have shunned me even to the point of walking several feet in front of me and pretending not to even see me. So sad what is done in the name of God. Reminds me of the terrorist and the mentality they possess
On the bright side I do have other close family members and Witness friends who still talk to me and have been an encouragement to my wife and myself.
But I can say that I am replacing those who shun me with others who, like myself, have been shunned and betrayed. It is a priviledge to get to know these new friends, many here on this board, who share the same mistreatment and abuse but who have proven to be a fountain of water in a dry scorching desert. To those I say it has been my priviledge and honor to meet your acquaintance.
Edited by - salud on 10 August 2002 19:32:1
I've never been a JW, never baptised, attended a meeting, or a bible study. Met my very first JW when I was 42! I met a few of her friends as well. Once we were married and she DA'd, I got shunned right along with her.
As for the article in the KM, I think there's many JW's who refuse to shun. I know one personally. This may just be what she needs to push her out the door. My wife's parents also started communicating via e-mail recently. It will be interesting to see how this effects them.
I disassociated myself due to changes in my life that were in conflict with their teachings. I made it very clear in letters to my family that I loved them, wanted to remain in contact with them, and that they did not always have to strictly follow all of the JW rules. Nevertheless, I am shunned. I check the obits every morning to see which of my family is no longer alive. Several have died, of which I was not informed. It seems to me that informing me of deaths in the family would qualify as family business, but apparently not.
Reborn, Thanks for posting that KM. MAN.....It is going from bad to unbelievably worse!!! I am not being shunned at the present but expect that my Dad, who is an Elder, will have no choice. My wife Tink however, has a boatload of brothers and sisters who shun us. Some have only recently talked with us only because my Wifes Uncle is in a Nursing home suffering from Alzheimers. He was never a witness but was being taken care of at home by Tink's sister. We can now expect the total silent treatment Thanks to this friggin' CULT. I'm sorry for your situation with your nephew. Tink is in the same situation with her nieces and nephews. It's breaking her heart, and I know yours is breaking also. We're greatful for this safe place with all of our great friends. It has eased the pain.
Thank you for posting the article, reborn. My jaw dropped to the floor while I read that stupidity.
I have been shunned since 1987. It isn't going to change..........but I think that maybe it is for the better. I like Animal's response about shunning his mother and any dubs.........an attitude that I have taken on over the past few years.
Part of me still cares, still hurts. Part of me says who gives a flyin' monkey's ass.........
Reading that propaganda really agitated me. So sad to think that my parents are so stupid to believe such crap. I wonder what will go thru their minds as this is discussed. Will mother raise her hand and answer as many questions as she can. She more that likely will be the marvelous martyr that she has been in the past.
If I can use your words, reborn:
DAMN YOU WATCHTOWER SOCIETY FOR BRAINWASHING PEOPLE INTO BELIEVING YOUR PROPAGANDA!
DAMN YOU WATCHTOWER SOCIETY FOR DESTROYING LIVES AND DIVIDING FAMILIES OVER YOUR DOCTRINE!
FUCK THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESS CULT!
Hey J, I was wondering. Did you scan that KM yourself? If so, do you get all of the KM's? If not, where'd you get this one?
I am dissasociated. I have been since 1985. I keep waiting on my JW mother in law and sister in law to drop the bomb!...I wondered why nothing was said yet. Now I think I know why. They don't cover the KM until 8/19 and 8/26. That should be very interesting. My Mother in law depends on us to help her! She can easily afford to hire someone to do the things we do but we are cheaper!
My hubby is inactve but very much a believer!
They have usually been very lenient concerning me.(Except for one time!)They eat wih me and have even said a prayer in front of me. I can't wait to see what happens!
I just found out that she is going to visit her Grandson and his wife and 2 children in January . Her grandson and his wife are both disfellowshipped! That should be very interesting!
What craziness! What do they hope to attain by this ? I don't have a clue....
But if they decide to start shunning me...at least I'll get a rest!
Every cloud has a silver lining........
Edited by - Golden Girl on 11 August 2002 1:24:19