<< Nice Guys Never Get Laid >> (page 4)

detective

Well, I've heard this sentiment more than a few times. Women only like bad boys...blah blah blah. Women don't go for nice guys... blah blah blah. They only like guys who treat them bad...etc.. And these sorts of conversations are inevitably followed by the same guy going on and on about what a "nice guy" he is. Of course, by this point I'm usually rolling my eyes in disgust.

In the past few years I've worked with an unusually high number of youngish men. It's almost comical how the ones who are quickest to bemoan the way women prefer bad boys are usually the biggest creeps of them all. They either bore their women out the door with all the stories of unfair life is for good catches like he happens to be (surprise!) or they act like complete idiots to some poor chickerooni only to move on to some poor new victim and beguile her with tales of what a good guy he is. "I'm such a nice guy..." Uh uh. Where do these guys get these scripts anyway? They've all got the same lines!

You'd think the theory would be fairly easy to disprove when these Mr. Nice Guy types treat a girl badly and she doesn't come running after him. But noooooooo, somehow the theory still stands despite the fact that Mr. Nice guy played the bad boy and he STILL didn't get the girl! So they continue to moan about it despite shattering a few fine ladies along the way. what a crock!

Some women like bad boys. Some women don't. Some guys like chickerooni's with big boobs and some guys don't(...mind if she has small boobs as long as she's got a tight ass). Whenever a guy moans about that crap with me I advise him to stop picking the wrong types of women. But then he wouldn't be able to complain anymore, so that's right out.

Ugh! Whatever.

p.s. with no offense to Mr. Moe intended... whenever I hear that "I don't play mind games" thing... I always end up thinking...so you play mind games, huh? In most cases that I've seen it's a case of protesting too much...if you catch my drift. But, I'm sure in some cases it's true (mind you, as a cynic, I had to muster alot of self-restraint to add that last part... but I want to believe, I want to believe!)

And the funny thing is, despite my cynicism, I still get downright surprised when people behave like jerks. Go figure!

COMF

I finally gave up on trying to be a nice guy, trying to be a bad boy, trying to be this, trying to be that... too much work! I started being me. I started just being myself all the time, talking about what interests me, doing what interests me, and behaving in the relationship as I would if I were alone.

You might be surprised at the result, guys.

larc

My opinion? Any woman that goes for a bad boy deserves anything she gets. If she is that dumb not to see through the shallow superficial man/boy immature asshole that he is, well, too bad for her. I have seen it countless of times. Get over it ladies, and get smart.

wasasister

For what it's worth (not much):

I've had both. The so-called "nice guys" are usually way more interesting in the long-term than the so-called "bad boys" who use up their few brain cells bragging about how bad they are. It might have something to do with maturity, but I'm at the point in my life where I haven't got time for silly role playing.

Jan, I don't know which women you are asking (what they want), but if you're being lied to, you need to meet more women. I've always been straight-out honest when asked about my needs and wants - of course with tact - and believe it or not, many men prefer the lie. If I want something physically, the best thing for both parties is to gently suggest or demonstrate. Otherwise, how's he to know? Forget leaving copies of "Venus and Mars in the Bedroom" lying around; he won't read it.

I'm becoming increasingly repelled by both "bad boys" and "high maintenance women". I prefer complex wines, exotic foods, stimulating art and literature - and simple relationships. I've had enough trauma in that department to last two lifetimes. (If you recognize yourself then yes, I'm talking about you.)

Wasasister/slightly cynical but not bitter

SpiceItUp

I would rather I guy that was just himself rather than trying to conform to a "nice guy" or "bad guy" persona.

Gimme some honesty and a guy that really listens to me and I will be happy.

DISCLAIMER: He also has to be intelligent, funnie, adventerous, spontaneous, passionate, reasonably good-looking (and yes I go anywhere from the hippies to musicians to the clean-cut boy next door). He just has to genuinely care about me.

Jim_TX

Spice said...

"DISCLAIMER: He also has to be..."

Crap!!! About the only 'specification' I can meet in that disclaimer is the 'has to be' part of it.

I guess I'll have to keep looking.

Prisca -

Thanks fer the compliment - ummm... I already had a galpal in Australia - 36 yrs old she was. LDR's don't work too well... plus, she is giving you Aussie gals a bad reputation.

(Actually, I didn't feel THAT old - till you pointed it out to me. Unless YOU'RE the one that's too old. <grin> In either case - <shrug>)

Regards,

Jim TX - who is not worrying about things like this right now... I've got land to develop, and a dome home to build.

SpiceItUp

now Jim -------I know you meet some of those qualifcations

Give your self a little bit of credit- which reminds me of another part of my disclaimer------ He has to have some self confidence and some self-esteem. After all we both cant be broken down and depressed.....that would never work

Jim--as far as the age thing goes---I generally try to stay within 10 years of my own age (but thats not saying I wouldn't break that rule for the "right" guy)

Xander

And these sorts of conversations are inevitably followed by the same guy going on and on about what a "nice guy" he is

I think the point of this thread was how genuine nice guys don't get laid - not just guys who claim to be nice. If a guy is running around proclaiming how great he is for women, and why can't he get any....well, that's not a nice guy, now is he?

detective

I'm not talking about braggart ladies-men looking to score. I'm talking about the average schmo who cites this type of rhetoric to begin with. Excuses, excuses...

The nice guys that I know- the genuine ones- never make the argument that women just want bad boys and that good guys can't get the girls.

Xander

The nice guys that I know- the genuine ones- never make the argument that women just want bad boys and that good guys can't get the girls.

While that may be true - it's only because they are 'nice guys' that they aren't bitching and moaning about it. Trust me when I say - they DO notice it. It's only with the relative anonymity of the internet that you will get such legitimately 'nice guys' bitching and moaning.

(In any case - I am a 'nice guy' - but have had LOTS of success with ladies. I guess I'm lucky that way - but almost all the other 'nice guys' I know are still single or married the first women they could. The 'bad boys' have tons more success, as a rule.)

I could go out on a limb with a thought as to why this is...

ah, heck, why not...

It's a fairly universally accepted constant that guys want a relationship for sex. Period. (There are, of course, always exceptions - but they are EXTREMELY rare - I mean, really, how many marriages do you know occur when their is no possibility of any kind of sexual favors for the guy from the girl?)

'Nice guys', 'bad boys', doesn't matter - the goal is the same. What differs the two is the amount of effort they are willing to go to in order to satisfy their relationship goal. 'Nice guys' don't push, 'bad boys' do.

Women, generally, want a relationship for...emotional experiences? Problem is they want a relationship with a man. Who doesn't really have much of an emotional side. ('Doesn't have much' doesn't mean none, or even little, but not enough for what a woman wants in a relationship - the guys that DO are either gay or faking it).

This can easily be substituted for by picking a guy you aren't really compatible with. You get all KINDS of emotional fun then.

Note that my above theory is only really valid for....hmmmm...16-35ish age range? Once you start getting out of that, it seems both men and women are capable of more correctly figuring out what they want. (Which basically amounts to 'someone who will let me be me')

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