English elder logs in.

by caspian 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • Belmont
    Belmont

    Hi Caspian and welcome. We are in the UK and my husband was an elder from the beginning of the arrangement until 1999 when we faded away. We had misgivings over a number of years, but swallowed them until they became indigestible. We came out by researching the society's literature (what a revelation!), reading Ray Franz's books, and lurking on this website. We are not df'd or da'd, and would never, ever go back. Be careful.

  • Dia
    Dia

    Hi C.,

    I thought I posted this already, but perhaps not. Go to google.com and look up Dr. Jerry Bergman. He has a history of helping many elders of JWs.

    Best wishes.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Caspian:
    I'm in Britain (Scotland), and was a 3rd Gen. elder, until I DA'ed in January of this year.

    My advice to anyone would be to get some kind of support mechanisms in place, before leaving. Englishman's comments, in this regard, are helpful. As for the DA or slow fade, there are more than a few things to consider, in making that decision. The slow fade seems to be less destructive on family, but drags out the healing process.

    Glad to have you around - feel free to email - my address is open.

  • Duncan
    Duncan

    Welcome along, Caspian.

    There's a load of us English-types here. I'm just North of London, myself.

    I'm sure that here you'll get the support and right advice you need in order to manage, as far as it's possible, a reduced-trauma exit.

    I'll look forward to reading your posts.

    Duncan.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Hello, Caspian. I'm not an elder but I have many family members who are. I lurked here myself for quite awhile before posting. You've gotten a nice response. Keep us informed as to what happens at that 2-day elder meeting. The last one did not tell the elders to call the secular authorities first. Maybe this one will. I was moved to post because of Silentlambs involvement here.

    Blondie (4th generation JW but not proud of it)

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Hello, Caspian!

    I wanted to stress what one poster above said, "Be careful who your friends are." You might think to discuss some of your concerns with other elder friends you have known for many years, or fellow-elder relatives, because they know, as do you, of the seamy side of the organization. But you risk red flags going up everywhere if you're not careful. And if you want to exit sucessfully with your family intact it's going to take a lot of tact and planning.

    I wish you the best and look forward to hearing more from you.

    Welcome to the Board!

    outnfree

  • Pubsinger
    Pubsinger

    Hi Caspian

    I know Geoff Viney.

    Some of my family are/were in his cong.

    He took my Grandma's funeral (and made me sick)

    e-mail me if you like

    Pub (I'm in Halifax)

  • anglise
    anglise

    Hi caspian and welcome.

    Take care if you are still an elder. Most cong friendships are totally conditional. We have found that out, and I am know many here will agree.

    Even ones we holidayed with for years and whose children grew up with ours have never come to see us, despite other half serving alongside them as a fellow elder.

    Dont expect anything from the BOE and you wont be dissappointed.

    The longest journey begins with just one step. Well done, you have taken that step.

    Anglise

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