My surreal district convention

by RunningMan 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Runningman: Excellent. Ahhh, the memories. Get those feet in the asiles! Quiet Please! Brothers plase take your seats! Parents, where are your children? Yes, and the jehoagies ... yes, that is good ... yummy. I think the media issue is great, because while they warn aganst this new enemy from the devil, the WTS is now using some cable stations to advertize their religion.

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    The last DC I went to was in 1988. I'm glad to see that I haven't missed anything.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Of course, there is always Mulan's Bullshit Bingo, for those who must be there.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=27457&site=3

  • worf
    worf

    Runningman,

    You had me cracking up with this post!

    Ah yes! The symposium. The word that is supposed to excite the drones to no end.

    Especially starting from the late 80's I found them boring and pointless.

    Worf

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    I've never been a JW, but you brought that convention to life for me. Very funny...you write well.

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    quick question for any ex-jw's.... is it mandatory to go to conventions? What if you don't go...how will they know if you do or don't.

  • larc
    larc

    Ah yes, the conventions. Occasionaly, I will make an attempt to attend for the purposes of research. When doing research, I have a high tolerance for tedious hours and boring routine. However, when I go to a convention, I can not last more than about three hours. Even then, I have to get up and walk around a lot. Even reading the summaries posted here give me flash backs and a strong desire never to attend one ever again, for whatever reason. Running Man, thank you for a most humorous account.

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    double edge:

    The conventions are a HUGE part of borg life. The magazines and other pubs hammer away at the dubs for months ahead of time about attending them. Even though there are large crowds at the conventions, it would still be obvious to your home congo if you weren't there. This especially is true if some travel is required to get to the convention site, because everybody at the Kingdumb Hall would be asking you where you were staying and all. Also, much of the cleaning, etc. at the end of each day is done by the dubbies themselves, and congregations are assigned a certain area of the venue, another something that would cause your attendance to be missed. The convention is discussed a good bit for a couple of weeks afterwards, both formally in the way of meeting parts and informally in general conversation. Then it is forgotten about completely as the dubbers go back to their robot routine. Also, many of the elders, ministerial servants, and others are given volunteer assignments at the convention (parking, security, etc.) SO...if you are an active JW, it would be just about impossible to miss the convention and not have it noticed by the congregation police.

  • mrs rocky2
    mrs rocky2

    Jehoagie! ROFLOL - and pass me the tums for today and ex-lax for tomorrow! Was there any pudding with that?

    Mrs Rocky

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    : But it sounds as though NOTHING has changed!

    The last DA I attended was in 1972, a full thirty years ago. They were saying the same exact shit back then, too.

    "District Assemblies" - a world-wide book promotion tour disguised as religious refreshment.

    Farkel

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