Feeling sad over a wasted life in watchtower

by wannaexit 70 Replies latest jw friends

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  talesin

  Some losses are greater than others. The loss of our childhood and early youth is huge. Hey, bitterness is merely repressed sadness and hurt. It's nothing to feel ashamed of - rather, recognize it has good cause, and then you can deal with it. It takes time and work.

  Let those feelings out, in whatever way works for you (healthy ways). You might want to smash something, well okay, take a hammer to that old VCR that is sitting in the garage and doesn't work. You may have pent-up rage (I did). Maybe you like to pump iron, that is a natural high. Crying is a physical release of emotion - it's a good thing. Cry in the shower - it's private and feels womblike. Writing about how you feel is dealt with in a special way by our brains, and can be therapeutic, too.

  :)

  Mostly, know that your feelings are real, own them and know it's okay.

  xo

  tal
• 

  wannaexit

  Thank you everyone- we are all in it together. And Billy you have made my day
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  My story is completely different, but exactly the same as far as a wasted life.

  I was a mess of a young adult when JW's swooped in snatched me up. I needed serious counseling, but they said "NO, you just need to serve Jehovah according to the Watchtower ways and He will straighten you out enough now until the end and then straighten you out the rest in Paradise. You will not need counseling." I did it so well, they made me an elder after 6 years in the organization. My step-father, married to my JW mother but never a JW, seemed rather surprised that I went from a mess to an elder so fast. I saw that but just knew it was because I was in the truth.

  Man-oh-man!!!! When I finally faded out, I went and got my counseling. Boy, did I need help. I wasted 20 years distracting myself from my real problems.

  I did manage to get a good start on a career thanks to 1995 and the wake up call that I would probably grow old in "this system of things" so at least that was good.

  Rascal Flatts in the song, "I'm Moving On" said it:

  I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
  Finally content with a past I regret
• 

  doofdaddy

  Totally can relate wannaexit and others. The best, most productive of my years spent knocking on doors and attending mind numbing meetings that regurgitated the same bile week after week, year after year.

  And agree it took until my early 40's to realise that I was living in Zombieland.

  The only way I can deal with this situation is to live in the moment and appreciate the gift of life that many missed out on. Now that is a true miracle.

  Ain't life grand?
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  LisaRose

  Yes, I have those same feelings, by the time I left the Watchtower my health was compromised and I will never get that back. But I try to focus on those things I do have, a loving husband and a comfortable life, and the freedom to pursue my artistic interests. I am also so grateful that I mentally free of the cult.

  Just think of all those who are still enslaved, still running the JW treadmill and still feeling guilty for not doing enough, then pat yourself on the back for getting yourself out.
• 

  greengirl8

  I have been out since 1976 (right after 1975).

  Denied a college education, it really was too late as my life had taken another trajectory. I fell in love with the President of the company for which I worked. Married at the time, he said, "this is all wrong, you have got to get out of your marriage and your religion."

  This man, who was not emotionally stable, gave me the impetus and the catalyst to get out. Within 6 months I was out and within a year divorced.

  I was always artistic, could have had a major artistic career, but alas, it is what it is.

  The affair was doomed; I spent many years working in corporate which I hated and meeting men and women through personal ads.

  These many years later I am married to my wonderful second husband (who once studied for the Catholic priesthood), and I have a very successful and active shop on Etsy.

  Life is interesting. And it is very short. It is about the journey. Make the most of it. It could always have been better. It could always have been worse.
• 

  rmt1

  http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Human+rights+abuse

  " human rights

  pl.n. The basic rights and freedoms to which all humans are entitled, often held to include the right to life and liberty, freedom of thought and expression, and equality before the law. "
• 

  4thgen

  we are all kindred spirits..... at least we are OUT!
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  Richard_I

  I feel the same. I'll be 26 when I graduate from community college, whereas most people who I went to high school with graduated with degrees four years ago and have been working since then. I wasted 4 years in pioneering and bethel service, with shitty job experience. it fucking sucks
• 

  Simon

  It's easy to get down about the wasted years and have regrets - it would be weird not to.

  But not everything was a waste. We had friendships at the time, we learnt some things (even if they were only tough lessons).

  The main thing is to make the most of the life we still have. It's never too late to do that unless we leave it too late.

  There are people who have been disadvantaged far worse but it can be hard to shake the feeling of 'what if'. But then there are always going to be opportunities that we don't get that others do. Where do we stop and say "that was my life, those are the cards I was dealt ... they may have been a bit crappy but I made the best out of things"