Feeling sad over a wasted life in watchtower

by wannaexit 70 Replies latest jw friends

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  wannaexit

  It's been 12 years since I first read Ray Franz's books and the scales came off my eyes. By that time I was in my forties.

  Since 2002 I went back to school and have worked with 3 very professional organizations. But my biological clock is ticking away and while my peers are looking forward to retirement, I am only beginning. I still feel an overwhelming sadness when I reflect on the wasted years.

  The best years where I could have explored and developed my talents and creativity were spent in slavery to the watchtower. While my catholic cousins were getting degrees in school and climing the latter of success, I was trudging from door to door. Twenty years of pioneering. Twenty years I will never get back.

  I know that ruminating on the past is highly toxic and ineffective- but the sadness surfaces every once in a while.

  Thanks for listening
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  berrygerry

  I hear you, sister, and I feel the same.

  When I see the constant pressure on kids to pioneer right out of school, it makes me sick.

  I am intelligent, but completely wasted my life.

  Instead of contributing to society, our family has been a leech.

  Hopefully, you have at least found employment that is either enjoyable, or, at least tolerable.
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  designs
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  joe134cd

  I guess we can all understand those feeling. I physically walked out of the tower about 14 months ago. Every day that religion plays on my mind. I wasted 40 years of my life. So take comfort your not alone.
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  wannaexit

  berrygerry:

  You are so right the pressure on kids is relentless. I see jw kids who are wasting their life, doing menial jobs to support their pioneering and not giving another thought to their future.

  I hate this organization for what it does to they youth
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  berrygerry

  Why does it seem that so many wake up after decades?

  Do you think WTS analyzes these numbers?
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  wannaexit

  To Designs: Thank you

  To Joe134cd: glad you got completely out. It certainly is comforting to be part of group that share the same sentiments
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  disposable hero of hypocrisy

  40 years for me too, and I'm not even out yet!

  funny you posted this today, I was at the meeting earlier, looking around at everyone, wondering what their lives would've been like without WT. More kids, some kids, better jobs, prison, who knows? If they don't wake up then at least they thought they lived a fulfilling life don't what was right. It's us poor saps that are awake that have to suffer.

  It IS sad. But at least you're making the best out of it. Chin up!
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  wannaexit

  berrygerry: it would be interesting to know if it comes in the governing body's collective minds that many disappear after decades of "faithful service". I do beleive that the governing body is brain dead and is unable to think things through
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  Crazyguy

  Took me until my 40's before I woke up, this religion destroys lives especially childhoods. I was working full time by age 14 to help the family make ends meet. Education not important since the end is so close. What a joke, joke is on us!