Ever notice how the "happiest people on earth" are also the most class-oriented? The social structure in the congregation is more complex than the blueprints of a nuclear warhead, but just so that you "remember your place", see if you can find where your niche was/is:
1. At the top of the Social Order of Things within the congregation is of course, the Presiding Overseer and his family. The wife is considered the First Lady and she knows absolutely everything that is going on in the congregation. Except that her teenage son is doing drugs and masturbating 6 times a day or that her daughter has a second wardrobe at school that resembles a hooker walking the Champs Elysees on New Year's Eve. She doesn't work outside of the home but she does go out in Service every Wednesday morning and possibly even some Tuesdays where she prays to Jehovah that whoever is taking the group doesn't stick her with anyone who's not in her clique or that single mother who misses half the meetings because she has to work three jobs to support her family.
2. Elders and Their Families Next on the list are the other elders and their families looming near the top. The brothers are usually a bunch of borderline alcoholics who don't really like their wives that much because they're always bugging them to make more money so that they can have the very latest in clothing and home furnishing, even though their credit cards are gasping for air. Some of their wives work, some don't. It depends on how much money their husbands managed to screw their worldly siblings out of when the parents died. Those that don't work outside the home might get together once a week for a "power breakfast" where they sit there for 3 hours and gossip about the other elder's wives who aren't there. None of them really like each other and they've been The Real Housewives of [fill in the blank] long before the series took off. Half of them are either bulimic or a bunch of drunks...I mean "social drinkers". They're tired of having sex with their husbands but would cut his balls off in an instant if he even thinks about another woman. They’re invited out to everyone’s home for dinner because there’s no better way to improve your social standing than to suck up to elite whether you like them or not. Their Visa cards are racked up to the max, but it's worth it to have another woman's envy.
3. Then come the wannabees and kiss asses. These are usually those that want to be an MS because they KNOW how to handle the mikes now god damn it, and they really feel that they can move on to bigger and better things. They go out in Service all the time just to show how spiritual they are and they ask those in higher positions what their opinion is on EVERYTHING from mowing the lawn to who gets to drink the wine after the memorial. This shows that they will do as they're told and that they are already practicing Elder Worship, a definite boost in climbing the social ladder. Generally speaking, these wannabees were laughed at in school and at their present jobs where their co-workers think they're nuts. They want a "position" where they can finally look down on everyone else, and find out the dirt on others in the Hall too by getting access to everyone's personnel files. They are at every single meeting and follow the CO around like a lost dog whenever he visits and would probably (literally) lick his ass if he permitted it.
4. Pioneer sisters. This is the only way for a single sister to have any sort of social prominence in the congregation and is a good excuse not to have to work full time. It also helps if you develop some sort of strange disease so you can get a disability cheque every month; that way, you don't have to work at all! Pioneering is also a good way to try and land a husband. Your position also means that you will get invited out to people's homes for supper because they feel sorry that you're still single and glad that you don't have enough brains to go get a real job.
5. Rank & File Family. This is the area that varies the most. The husband works full time and if necessary, so does the wife. They attend most meetings just to keep the elders off their backs but secretly feel like telling them to piss off when they start to question them. The mother is told what rotten, uncontrollable children she has and the father is constantly questioned as to why he doesn't keep up with getting his 10 hours in Service every month. Doesn't he want to advance in Jehovah's Organization?? Why can't he control his wife and kids?? The wife is counselled that perhaps she should quit her job and spend more time watching her children so that her daughter doesn't come home pregnant by some worldly boy. The R&F Family are invited out on an average of one or maybe two times every two months.
6. The In-betweens. This group borders on being low-lives, unless you can make a friend with someone higher up on the scale. It'll mean kissing their asses and dishing out compliments every 3 seconds, but it's the only way you can improve your social standing. Although you invite them over for supper on a continual basis, they usually will find some excuse not to come, unless there are going to be other cool people there as well. Be warned though, you'll have to bite your tongue with their 13 year old kid punches your 5 year old in the stomach, because telling socially prominent people their kids are rotten brats will get you kicked to the bottom of the spiritual food chain faster than a speeding bullet bouncing off Superman.
7. Slackers, Single Parents and Non-Pioneering Welfare Families. These people are the lowest of the low. Missing meetings on a regular basis makes you more invisible than Jesus' Return in 1914. Everyone else in the congregation looks down on you and will generally avoid you like the Plague unless they are unfortunate enough to have you as a Householder one night, or unless the CO is due for a visit. In that case, you might get a "shepherding call" from the elders just so they can tell the CO that you're a slacker and a loser and to cover their own ass. No one will offer to invite you over for dinner because you or one of your kids might steal something out of their house. No one wants to sit close to you at any of the meetings, and will never think to call you unless it's to invite you to a bridal shower that they're having a hard time getting anyone else to come to. Pioneering is a waste of your time and effort. There is no point in you even trying harder because everyone knows that Jehovah does not want losers like you in the New System.
8. College/University Attendees, Those that Can Think For Themselves. It's hard to believe that there's anyone more despised in the congregation that a slacker or single parent, but those who deliberately ignore the Governing Body's advise about 'higher education' risk any social standing they have and may as well change their names to Hymenaeus, Alexander, or Philetus. No one likes a smartass, and this is never more true than when a sister in the congregation knows more about a subject that the Presiding Overseer, unless it's related to sewing or cooking. The only way to redeem yourself is to immediately quit your studies and enter the full time Service. Even so, it'll take about 6 months for you to be forgiven.
Those who can think for themselves and question some doctrine that makes no sense better not let the door hit them on the way out. Obviously you are 'puffed up' with your knowledge and are just one step away from becoming Judas Iscariot. There is no middle ground here: either you stop asking questions to which there is no logical answer, or make an appointment for a lobotomy.
So where did you fit in? I was originally a #5 but quickly became an #8.