one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out? (page 2)

flipper

MISSFIT- A really excellent thread topic . Thanks for creating it. Very interesting replies. As a born-in JW who didn't exit the JW's until 11 years ago at age 44 in 2003 - for me my physical AND emotional connection left the Witnesses BEFORE my mental part did. I'll try to clarify : I had seen a lot of injustices towards other people happening from elders in my then congregation and injustices from elders against people in other congregations- then when I experienced personally those injustices committed against me - it's like this light turned on inside me feeling deep in my emotions and heart that " no way in hell do these guys have anything called " holy spirit " directing them. " Their actions and attitude showed me they were stone cold in any real caring towards me and others and had their own agendas. So I emotionally turned off immediately and I left the kingdom hall cold turkey and before a meeting I went and picked up my books off of my seat and walked out the kingdom hall door and never returned.

But the MENTAL part of me exiting the Witnesses came within the next several years and that was what took a little longer to de-program out of me. Just various things it took me awhile to be INFORMED on the Internet as to WHAT information the WT Society had wrong and incorrect. I had SUSPECTED they were wrong- but not until I researched the Internet in 2006 or 2007 did I even KNOW about the child abuse scandals, then in 2006 I read " Crisis of Conscience " and started reading all of Steve Hassan's books on mind control. Reading these books and researching lots of links on JWfacts and on this board really opened up my eyes to how screwed up we were in our MENTAL process of being a JW. So by filling my head and mind with other information my brain became gradually hardwired AWAY from the WT indoctrination to where my mind has been so full of other ways of critical thinking and reasoning on various subjects that the JW way of thinking seems more and more foreign or strange to me the longer I've been out of the Witnesses. Hopefully my explanation makes some kind of sense- but it's the way it went down with me anyway. Now my life is full of many positive things I'm involved with ! And of course - Freedom of Mind ! Cheers to freedom of mind ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

MissFit

Maybe there is a difference between being emotionally connected to the people we love who are still in and being connected to the idea of a loving international godly organization.

Is it possible to seperate it?

The people we love still expect us to live up to theirb ideals. They view the organization to be God directed and can't understand why we dont so they feel betrayed.

I think the desire to please our loved ones can chain us and suck us back in.

flipper

MISSFIT- Your statement, " I think the desire to please our loved ones can chain us and suck us back in. " Very good point. So that's one reason that I feel research is SO important in convincing our minds to really open our eyes and SEE the untruths and false promises, the injustices committed by the WT Society because once we educate and inform our minds of the unethical things the WT Society is doing- it forms a disconnect within us to where we will NOT go back even for family because within ourselves we might feel hypocritical for supporting an organization doing all these raunchy things towards it's members and others. At least THAT is how it affects me, one reason I could never go back even if my two adult daughters begged me on bended knee. I will much rather expend my energy towards gradually convincing THEM that the WT organization is unethical and criminal really in manipulating people's lives and relationships. It may take time- but I couldn't live with myself going back and living a fake life. I was forced to live a fake life for 44 years from birth- not gonna start that again now at age 55 after having 11 years of freedom ! LOL. Peace out. Mr. Flipper

Separation of Powers

Mentally out. It is easier to disconnect your rational mind from the Matrix. The emotional aspect is more difficult for some. There is an emotional progression that will typically move from dismay/disillusionment to anger and than, hopefully, resolution. I am at the "angry" part of that gambit.

I wish you the best MissFit...life is too short to waste it on woulda shoulda coulda...live a full life now, one of purpose and no regret

Simon

Direct apostasy never works. There has to be an external trigger that sets you off down this course.

I agree. I think very few JWs join because they believe the WTS has the answer to life, the universe and everything but normally it's because of family or being born in or emotion - they were caught on a low point in their life and were offered a seemingly friendly bunch of people (love bombed).

For the same reason, few people leave because of the doctrines IMO. That's why they can constantly change and no one cares. Heck, most JWs don't even know what their current beliefs are other than wishy washy "Jesus is the son of God, one of them is going to return ...erm, 1914?"

What makes most people start thinking is some personal situation - some injustice done to them or someone they know. That is the trigger and after that people find out about doctrinal changes which confirms their understanding that it's not the truth.

You can be out physically and intellectually but still miss the association and family you had while in. Likewise you can see them for what they are and be emotionally out even before you understand all the arguments and have actually left.

OnTheWayOut

Many came out by seeing injustice or misery or by being thrown out for some violation of the rules. So many of them may have still believed the doctrine but didn't stay.

Not many came out because of seeing a flaw in the doctrines, but there are some here. That was me. I was fully in, and got disillusioned by the teachings. So I was on my way to being fully mentally out, but considered that I might should stay for family and stability. Learning about how families are destroyed and how the lies can hurt people or how the cult can persecute members for speaking up caused me to realize I just couldn't stay.

But apparently, because I still come here often, I still have some emotional ties to suffer through, with an active JW wife, mother, and in-law family.

thedog1

Really enjoying this thread. I'm with you, onthewayout, as the trigger for me in the past year or so has been the teachings. Before that happened I was vaguely unhappy with the whole thing but I couldn't put my finger on it. The ministry was boring and unproductive, the meetings were very unstimulating, but I liked the whole fellowship thing. Then when we had all the changes to the f&ds business, the stressing of the overlapping generation, the bending of scripture with the dukes and the Assyrian attack nonsense, linking this with the obey at all costs which is hammered home all the time now, then I thought my head was going to explode. I am still going for my wife and I still have a lot of emotional attachment to both the people and the 'idea' of what Jehovah's Witnesses say the bible teaches. I would love to live forever in nice surroundings. That's part of the emotional stickiness still there. But when it all doesn't add up you cannot deny the effect it is having on your mind.

Vidiot

Stuckinarut2 - "...once I became mentally out, the emotions followed shortly after. Its impossible to be emotional tied to something that your logical brain discards."

Hoo, that takes me back.

Simon - "...few people leave because of the doctrines IMO."

Not just your opinion; a considerable amount of academic study has confirmed it.

talesin

I was so young, and the Lie was all I knew. My family had kept me completely isolated from the outside world. When I saw the hypocrisy, it all happened at once. My natural logic kicked in and said "wait a minute - they are hypocrites and it is all a bunch of lies. There *is* no God." So I left the religion, and my family, in one fell swoop. One Thursday night I said "no KH", and 3 weeks later (thanks Mom, for kicking me out), I had my own apartment and a new job.

Emotional attachments to my 'family' - well, that took a long time, and has left a gap that, due to my social ineptitude, has never been filled. I've never missed "god", though. I am a happy heathen in that sense.

t

kairos

There are several congregations in my area.

After tolerating the crazy personalities, cliques and internal power struggles, I eventually cycled through all of the local congregation over a period of 25 years.

It got to the point where I was dragging myself to the meetings, hating everything about them, doing the pre-meeting greetings and token handshakes with people that pretend they are listening to you or remotely interested in what you are saying.

Finally, I was either leaving early or immediately after the closing song/prayer on the verge of tears.

My problem now is "how could I have not noticed" the FACT that I had been wasting my life.
I find myself wondering how I believed the nonsense as truth and worried about the "authority" of the elders

It is emotionally taxing when you have invested so much time with so many people and you are treated like you never existed to show for it.

--

I must be mentally diseased.

one last step..Is being mentally out the same as being emotionally out?

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