My wife sees the lack of love and.. Any suggestions on how to proceed?

by BU2B 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • label licker
    label licker

    Tell her to google Why am I so lonely - Jehovah's witnesses and let her do the rest. That's what I did and voila. Jwnet will appear over and over. Get my drift?

  • Frazzled UBM
    Frazzled UBM

    BU2B - you are making progress. I think focussing on how she feels about behaviour at the Hall is the key. You are right to hone in on the lack of love. The other thing to try to get her to acknowledge by asking her questions about it is how they make her feel unworthy the whole time - like she is never good enough. See if that is the way she feels and then ask her to think about why she feels like that and what it is that is causing her to feel like that. Once she starts to realise that is exactly the way they want her to feel then you will start to make very tangible progress IMHO. Why would Christian love make you feel bad about yourself? Cheers Fraz

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    Read her the sermon on the mount starting in Matt chapter 5, then maybe read 1corithians chapter 1-5 picking out the verses like in chapter 3 were pPaul says not to get rapped up into human leaders and that its Jesus we should all be about not the fds. Also he talks about that the righteous would come out of the sects "righteous ones" not one sect showing that all Christian religion's are sects. Again no 1 religion or org of God.

  • Frazzled UBM
    Frazzled UBM

    My only other piece of advice is to take it slowly, be patietn and don't be discouraged by backward movements. I think you realise that introducing apostate literature to her or arguing doctrine or lecturing her now would be a mistake. Just keep showing her the love, maintain the open lines of communication and when she talks ask questions to let her see what her intuition is stgarting to tell her.

  • ruderedhead
    ruderedhead

    Awww, that is just so ridiculous, esp if these people have been to Disneyland and watch the movies! These are small children, and I think even they could see the hypocrisy of their parents!

    I really hope you can get enough kids to come so your little girl won't be disappointed. This bunch sounds like some judgemental a**holes, trying to look pious in front of each other. What onearth is magical about a princess party? Every little girl wants to be a princess.

    You have been given some sound advice here, I can't add much except to say I hope after you are done with the cult book, you will find a way to get your wife and daughter out. Just go slowly so you don't scare her!

  • Question_Mans_interpretation
    Question_Mans_interpretation

    Excellent suggestion mauiboy on reading Crisis of Conscience. That is what finally cured me of the need to somehow still be connected to the Organization. But also if it wasn't for my husbands patience and critical thinking, we would still be trapped by the false teachings.

    He first had the courage to question things and do research which I at first was ok with doing but only if we researched through "appropriate material" as i didnt want to be influenced by "apostate literature". It was a battle at times with my husband but his logical head won out. What helped my thinking was A LOT of bible reading. Its funny thinking back that for all the years I was a JW(I was raised JW, a 4th generation) I did more bible reading in the 2 years we questioned and researched than my 28 years of living as a JW. I never fully understood or accepted the Societies stance on birthdays(i thought it was ridiculous you couldn't even say the words happy birthday) but like a good JW i went along with it until I read colossians 2:16,17 Romans chapter 14 and got an understanding of 1 Corithians chapter 8. The essence of these was basically to stop judging other christians for wanting to celebrate things that were special to them or that didn't bug their consciences,(Romans 14:5 one day may be special to one person but not to another)so long as the celebrations didnt cause other christians to stumble which in my mind means causing someone to stop believing in christ.

    I love the above video of the hoe down in a kingdomhall cause something like that would NEVER have happened in my old kingdom hall and its sad cause they look happy and are enjoying themselves but im sure that congregation is going to be in trouble now for allowing something like that to happen cause some jw somewhere is going to judge them for it and draw the attention of the big haunchos in new york.

    I hope you can get your wife to see that love and Joy are fruitages of the spirit and those who have the holy spirit will be displaying these characteristics. In conclusion Reading the bible, Crisis of Conscience, Researching the history of the organization and finding out 1914 was not the original dooms day but 1874 was, all helped break me free of a false organizaton. I hope you can progess in the right direction with your wife.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    Lots of great advice.

    There simply is no "quick fix".

    The fact that SHE is seeing the lack of love is a huge step. Clearly, brotherly love is what Jesus said would set his followers apart and unless you are in the social clique she will find that it just is not there. JWs do not stand out. They all separate out into their own little groups just like anyone else.

    The next step is to make some "worldly" friends so she sees that they are nice people too. Every bit as nice as the JWs that barely give her the time of day.

    Good luck,

    Doc

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    Good advice above! Just a word of warning. You know that sometimes Witnesses decide that it's just their congregation, and simply moving to another Hall will fix the problem. Whether she takes this difficulty as a sign of an overall problem with the religion or just a problem in your cong. depends on how open she is to seeing TTATT. If she is too emotionally fixated on the religion, then she won't be at all ready to consider that it's not the truth just because her fellow sisters are being snobby.

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    There is a huge lack of love in the organisation.

    I have seen and experienced more love in 11 months out than I did in 14 years in.

    For your wife.x

  • Dis-Member
    Dis-Member

    John 13:35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

    If it's clear that that love is non-existent then what is she doing there? Simple logic would dictate that they are not really Jesus desciples.

    ~The End~

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit