The GB gives awakened JW's 2 choices.

by BU2B 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    Here's an alternate way of looking at things. Right now you're very focused on yourself, your plight and how your wife might turn you in to the elders. You're in self-defense mode. What about your wife's viewpoint? What about approaching her honestly instead of hiding your lack of belief? She won't be happy, but maybe she will respect you more for being straightforward. Remember that men are about 10x more transparent to women than they think they are, so she probably already suspects/knows your feelings and just wishes you would explain yourself.

    Many posters here have gone way overboard and tried to share TTATT with their f&f, and that doesn't end well, but if you simply tell her that it's not the truth for you anymore, that you have your reasons, and that you don't want to impede her own practicing of the religion, then you're placing the onus of the reaction on her. It becomes up to her whether she will have a reasonable reaction or she'll freak out. Whereas you are simply delaying what is likely an inevitable freak-out if you just wait for her to finally say something one day when you least expect it. And if she doesn't ever say anything, then you have it hanging over your head the rest of your married life.

    Some ex-JWs have gotten lucky like Phizzy, whose wife apparently wasn't really that into the religion either, but if your wife is zealous then you're in for angst no matter what. Might as well take it like a man.

  • Pistoff
    Pistoff

    I have someone close to me who has seen the light but it has been 10 years, a very slow process.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    BU2B - Thank you for raising this topic and receiving so many thought-provoking answers.

    I am so fortunate in my fade; my wife is with me all the way, and we are on the threshold of moving home and congregation. When we do, we will register with the new cong then drop out of sight - only surfacing once in a blue moon for the sake of visiting relatives etc.

    For me, the key to our survival is going to be - SAY NOTHING INCRIMINATING!

    As soon as the wolves in sheep's clothing get the scent of 'blood', [apostasy] they will not stop until they have ripped apart their prey!

    Best wishes on your 'road less travelled'.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Great thread BU2B!

    I hear ya! Loud clear Clear!

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    The onus will be on her and my goal is to be a good husband and father, because when I no longer accompany her to the KH, she will be angry, but maybe she will see that I am still there for her and the same person, a far happier person without the JW stuff. I dont think she will go anyhwhere. I just dont know how long she will be angry, or if she will treat me differently forever, but I have to be the best I can be. Hopefully she will see the lack of love in the congregation and organization. Sometimes people need a big jolt to wake them up.. Just going along in the same routine wont do it.

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