The elders are 'letting me fade'

by TableForOne 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • label licker
    label licker

    Your elders didn't officially announce you as df'd from the platform but for sure they will have told everyone not to talk to you. They did it to me (I was publically reproved) and they recently did it to another family in a neighbouring congregation not far from this one. They don't have enough evidence on someone who is not coming to the meetings, then they will just tell ones not to talk to you. A local needs was also given about not associating with those who don't come to the meetings and that includes not talking to those ones. Again, they did it to me as well as another family in another hall. Too bad for the goon elders that want to make asses out of themselves for people are still talking with us as well as the other family. Love it when their control is out of control.

  • TableForOne

    whathappened: It's a great feeling isn't it? We win!!!

    label licker: I've had texts from 2 people saying they will not be shunning me. That's quite a poor return for 20+ years service, but it shows the fear and control that the cult has over people. My wife has told me that she is now telling people that I'm an apostate. Previously, she was telling people I was having a mental breakdown! I don't accept either definition thank you.

    It's just a game to me now, and they can't hurt me by shunning me.


  • problemaddict


    Your wife is calling you an apostate to others? What a betrayal. I am really sorry to hear that.

    Now is the time to get yourself stronger and better than ever.

    The elders are going to LET YOU fade? Well isn't that mighty white of them.

  • label licker
    label licker


    in our case there are still some that are talking to us. Last night we ran into one who crossed over the road and said hi to us yet there was a white car coming towards us and he thought it was his wife coming home from the meeting and he ran. It was really sad to watch. If you've done nothing bad except not go to the meetings, people will still talk to you but only when no one is watching.

    I hope your elders don't slander your reputation the way ours did. The more they did, the more people were asking us what happened and we were glad to tell them. I truly wish you the best and hope they do leave you alone but your wife seems to be wanting attention and not for the right reasons. In marriage, the both are to have each others backs no matter what. If she keeps this up and causes a stir with the congregation, it wouldn't surprise me if the elders have to act on it. Good luck and keep strong.

    The power is with you since you've educated yourself with TTATT and no one can take that away from you. That's why they run, slander your reputation, don't talk to you ect,,, They have no power and have to act like a bunch of uneducated delinquents.


  • sylvlef

    Good Job. Really sad that your wife spread the "apostate" reputation, as this is not a "quiet" fade, so sooner or later you Will hear again from elders and not for the greater good i fear. May i ask how are things with your wife? Is she always hard on you or was it just a one shot distress phase?

    Navy Town, the "nothing to Say" is an excellent way of having peace for people like me who still go to JW meetings (and sometimes in field circus) for wifi and family reasons.i already experimented it....funny thing is that, no matter how poor my field report is (2-4 jours every month at most) and how silent i keep at the meetings, they gave me some n°3 parts last month at the MS. Sometimes those guys really don't get it...

  • TableForOne

    problemaddict: My wife labeled me "an apostate" within 20 seconds of finding out that I wasn't happy with the way the reporting of child abuse is handled by the WTBTS. I am truly stronger, better and happier now that I am free on the mind control cult.

    label licker: The incident of the brother talking to you then running when he thought his wife was coming is very sad. Fear of (wo)man? Fear of cult? If the elders slander my reputation they will have to do so very discreetly. My mother (never been a JW, but has been to few memorials and some of my public talks) is on speaking terms with many in the congregation, and will gladly confront them to question their Christlike qualities if they start to fight dirty. Go on, mother!!! ha, ha.

    sylvlef: I think the "apostate" talk from my wife is a defensive, coping strategy. It's not been easy for her either. Out of the blue, her husband and best friend decides the "truth" is actually a huge lie. She still claims to believe 100%. After 22 years of marriage, we separated in April as a direct result of my finding out TTATT. I'm fine now, though. I won't allow the cult to defeat me. I'm looking forwards, not backwards. Life begins at 43 for me. If the elders want to get back in touch, I'm fine with that. I don't need their approval, they have no power over me.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Nice opening post. Even if individual JW decided to shun, you are not DF'ed. Good deal.

  • Dagney

    Well done. Being in control is the key. When the bros discern no opportunity of discussion, no invitation for their shepherding (barf), it leaves them speechless, and trying to figure out their next move.

    Good luck!

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