The elders are 'letting me fade'

by TableForOne 27 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TableForOne

    I attended my last meeting in January 2014, having realised that I'd been lied to for 20+ years (I'm now 43 y/o)

    Rumours spread of my 'apostasy'.

    In May, CoBE contacted me inviting me to a private meeting with elders at the KH. (No mention of the meeting being a JC)

    I said I would meet, subject to the following conditions:

    1) I can record the audio of the meeting for my own protection,

    2) I can have individuals there of my choice to make sure everything takes place decently & by arrangement, and

    3) I also told them my mother said she would be willing to host the meeting in her home, so no need to go to the KH.

    I received a text back denying my request, but stating that the offer of 'help' was still there.

    I replied that I insist any meeting NOT BE DONE IN SECRECY.

    Since then, NOTHING.

    I've been told that the elders are going to "let me fade"


    If the Elders approach you in the future asking questions as to why you've not been at meetings, try this approach: simply tell them 'I have nothing to say'. That's it. Keep saying exactly that if ANY more questions are asked, by ANYONE! They can't DF you for saying nothing. Even the U.S. Bill of Rights gives citizens the 'Right to remain silent' so as not to incriminate themselves.

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Awesomely done, and if true that they will let you fade then that's excellent news.


    The same phrase can be applied by people who still must go to meetings because of family, etc. When an Elder or anyone else asks an intrusive question, or tries to guilt-trip you, simply respond with 'I have nothing to say'. Those are the FIVE MAGIC WORDS that will simplify your Witness life to a GREAT extent. You don't owe ANYONE an explanation about ANYTHING. Just refuse to get drawn into nosy questions or discussions by saying 'I have nothing to say'. Try it next time some busybody tries to question you. What a relief it is to not feel 'obligated' to divulge information that is your own personal business.

  • KateWild

    I replied that I insist any meeting NOT BE DONE IN SECRECY.-TF1

    Excellent game plan, you are in control well done, fine example. Thank for your experience. Kate xx

  • disposable hero of hypocrisy
    disposable hero of hypocrisy

    Good work sir, good for you!

  • Oubliette

    TableForOne, that is an excellent response!

    Thank you for sharing an effective way to handle the elders attempt to exert their illegitimate authority over you.


    Yes they will, right after they've gossiped to their wives, children, etc. about your apostasy and how far gone you are. Their families will in turn spread the gossip to all who will listen. So not really a fade persay, but you are free nonetheless so congratulations

  • gingerbread

    Every circumstance is different.

    We've been left alone for a year - even after attending only one meeting this year - the Memorial. We have a lot of family and long time friends that are fully involved JW's.

    Keeping quiet around these folks, not shoving the reality of the religion in their face, not talking about your reasons for exiting, no emotional 'fireworks', arguments or congregational drama - they'll let you quietly go away.

    This method has worked for decades. It's working for our family.


  • pronomono

    Excellent way of handling this. I may be stealing this method from you soon.

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