I want to communicate better, and would appreciate your help. (page 4)

Oubliette

Kate,

Thanks for the kind words.

Keep sharing your experiences Kate!

Oubliette

PS - You have a PM!

twice shy

I read most of the link, but all of your replies. I didn't read anything that coud get you banned, but I'm a bit new.

Everyone is different. You expressed yourself fine to me. Wheras, I might not share your specific view on a topic; I will respect your individuality.

Sometimes emotions run high on this board and we never really know if a person is responding directly to you or their set of circumstances or if their atmosphere of discontent, anger, rage, inadequacy, happiness, contentment or fear is driving their comments at the time of their post.

Try not to read too much into it or let it take away from the joy you receive from the board.

JWdaughter

HI Kate,

I havent't noticed you being rude-but I know your posts will keep me at the edge of my seat. You are an inadvertant drama queen (that is to say that you seem to be in the middle of a dramatic phase of your life). We all have our stuff and sometimes others don't read us right or we don't read them right. If you don't go around TRYING to push buttons, I doubt you will ever be banned.

I am a pretty forthright and direct person. I have noticed that at times people are so unused to that, that they are twisting and trying to read something into absolutely nothing. Its like being direct is foreign to them! If you feel baited, don't be like the pretty little sunfish that took that bait when I was 5. I dragged that poor fish around to family dinners and social gatherings for months. Poor fish died for nothing.

I used to do these boards till I got low sugar and migraines. I honestly did not know how to get off of them. Cold turkey did not work. I weaned myself. Find other things to do on and offline. Start a project (a recipe like bread is distracting-allows you to comeand go from computer and becomes distracting enough to forget other things.) offer to help someone else with something (obligate yourself). Volunteer so at least a few hours a week will be ANYWHERE BUT HERE.

I really enjoy your posts, relate to a lot of them and I am rooting for you!

LoisLane looking for Superman

Hello Kate, We are all different, and that is wonderful.

You mentioned on one thread you like, want, need to have the last word.

We are opposites. If I think I am right and the other person thinks they are right, we can still be friends. What I state once, I can stand by that. I don't need to hash and rehash and reformulate my words as though the other person doesn't get what I am saying.

Maybe in that case, you are more polite than me. lol If people are a bit slow to get what I mean, I just move on... try again... next subject. lol

I am a peace-maker , but not passive. It is bred in me to be polite, and caring, and gracious. I usually shine in social gatherings. I have brains, but not to the high intelligence that you possess.

Would I like to give up a little of my social abilities to be more intelligent? Not really. I like me. I think you, like you too, and that you know you are doing your best. You got side tracked in the past 24 hours on another thread, or two, that knocked you off your balance, that is all.

What would the world be like without KateWild ??? and ? ??

Have you watched the TV show Doc Martin? I love that show. Martin... is different. lol He says it just like it is. But what a dull world it would be not to have Doc Martin in it.

Chill out. Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. And remember... You are wonderful just the way you are. Okay?

LoisLane

LisaRose

I don't think there is anything wrong with your communication. You are very straightforward and honest, there is nothing wrong with that. I think sometimes you read things into what people say. Maybe they intended an insult, maybe not, but what is the point of calling them out? If they did not intend to insult you, then you have antagonized them for nothing. If they did intend to insult you, what is to be gained by escalating? Be the bigger person and don't respond in kind. Walk away, wait a day to respond, or assume it was an unintentional slight.

Not everything everyone posts has to be responded to. If a poster tends to irritate you, skip those posts, don't give it energy. Choose to focus in the topic, not personal jabs.

This is just a forum, not real life, it can only affect you if you let it.

confusedandalone

Kate I think you are really to worried about nothing. I can honestly say I can not recall anything you have ever said that offended me.

I like your ability to speak your mind because you can take the same treatment!

Simon

KateWild: Don't worry and don't listen to the scare-mongers - you won't be banned for agreeing or disagreeing with anyone and no one can 'set you up' ... we always review things carefully and look at both sides.

Some people like to portray disagreeing as the reason for being banned when it is simply that they violated the posting guidelines on multiple occassions.

cofty

Kate. My advice for what it's worth - try to avoid all attempts to comment on another poster's character or intentions. Never tell somebody that anything they say or do is a hangover from the cult.

Just focus on the actual content of what somebody writes.

When involved in a debate I try to pick out the important point in the other person's post and ignore the rest.

When somebody presents relevant evidence try to address it as far as possible. You tend to respond by simply restating your beliefs.

Hope that helps.

Oubliette

Cofty, great advice!

cantleave

Kate, I have never percieved you being rude, just forthright. Stick to your guns (even if they don't shoot straight) and don't let the bastards grind you down.

I want to communicate better, and would appreciate your help.

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