FORGIVENESS ... You owe it to your health (page 7)

talesin

More thoughts ...... anger.

Anger is merely an expression of the true emotions of fear and pain. It is valid. It's natural. The thing is, we must get to the root of the anger, to the sad, to the fear ........... and heal those feelings. The anger will quickly dissipate once the issues are worked on.

Continued anger becomes rage, and that is damaging on every level, to our health. So, yes, I think this thread has a good point. We need to vent, scream, and cry. Then, we need to heal.

Oh yes, and never forget that the best revenge is living well. ~ Oscar Wilde :))

t

Xanthippe

Talesin I didn't mean to be insensitive. I was picking the very worst things I could think of because we all know people or have read about people who have lived through these things and survived.

I didn't mean they are insignificant by saying shit happens, I meant life has been terrible for the people of earth for a long, long time. The recent phenomena of cults in the last hundred years is just one of the causes of suffering.

I had five years of clinical depression and spent every day wishing I was dead. My brain chemistry went wrong. Shit happens. When people find out my husband dropped to the ground of a brain hemorrhage and was gone in minutes from 75% brain damage probably due to an aneurysm, these days I honestly find that the words, these things happen, pop into my head as a reply to them.

I am not being insensitive, I am being a survivor. You can only react that way if you've been there.

myelaine

Is it possible that some ex JW's have been so twisted that they don't know how to "be" healthy. what would they "be" if they didn't wear their victimization as a badge of honour?...

I'm only wondering this because I have heard it said that I couldn't possibly "understand what we've gone through"...well, I can certainly understand some of your experiences. I've noticed also that a few have been very dramatic in expressing their experiences. I'll be honest, as much as I'd like to validate your experience like a peep...spiritual abuse is not like sexual abuse, it's not like being raped to have your mind and your "rights" violated. Is there a cachet involved in being the most abused out of everyone...ever?

unlike BOTR my free-flowing thoughts will, no doubt, go over like a lead balloon.

anyhoo...

love michelle

talesin

Xan, I hear you, and thanks for the background. That must have been a hellish time for you! I lost a beloved friend last year on NYE the same way; she was only 42. To lose your mate, your life partner like that. wow

I truly appreciate your reply, and it really shows how things can 'read' on a screen. "These things happen" popping into your head, yeah, I can get that.

Me, I'm an empath, and it's a struggle at times to adopt a more matter-of-fact attitude. The truth is, that shit DOES happen. You're right. It's not that simple, though, getting over repeated trauma from which you cannot escape. Concentration camps and 15 years of abuse takes a lifetime of therapy and creating new neural paths. So maybe it was the severe examples that touched a nerve. I feel people's pain, and have made a lifetime goal of sheilding myself from it.

Once again, thanks for your thoughtful reply. I'm glad you were able to come out of that depression, and hope you have learned, as have I, to choose happiness.

xx

tal

talesin

lol, Michelle, you always love to get your nasty little digs in. I see nothing has changed.

Victim? ahahaha, no ... I consider myself a survivor,,, NO, a THRIVER! However, downplaying the effects of abuse of CHILDREN, be it sexual, emotional, physical or spiritual, is just wrong. And trying to bully me just will never work - you can't push my buttons. Neener, Neener, NEEner! There's lots of folks on this forum who had severe abuse - I'm sure you are WELL aware of that, as you've been around long enough,,, back when we all used to REALLY tell our stories. People just aren't talking about that stuff here anymre, which is, imho, unfortunate.

I'm proud of the fact that, as my doctor of many years told me I should be,,,,,,,,,,,,, I am not dead, on the streets, or an addict. There is no pride in being the 'most abused', because I am just one of the many who were born into abusive families who happened to join the cult (it's a great place for child abusers to hang out, or hadn't you heard?), but there is a LOT of pride in surviving that abuse, leaving the cult at an early age, and getting an education and a great career by the time I was 30. So take you victim talk and well, go try and push someone else's buttons.

with love,

tal

myelaine

Talesin...I'm not talking about you.

talesin

Oh, well, that is good of you to say. Did you ever think that some people are dramatic because they have never been heard? And this is the first time they have told their story ............. and surprise! The drams is real - they aren't being drama queens, they truly need to be heard.

Just a thought. Sorry I mistook the direction of your comments.

xx

t

cantleave

I was physically abused by my mother throughout my childhood, under the guise of the "rod of discipline", something taken from a so-called "holy book", which in fact is the most evil book in the world.

I will not forgive, I will not be angry, I will not forget.

talesin

cantleave - you know what goes through my mind? How could she (and/or he) do that to their own CHILD?! When I stepped outside my life with the benefit of many healing friends/teachers, I realized what monsters live in my family.

I feel the same as you.

t

cofty

It means giving up the desire for revenge - ABibleStudent

So how does that differ from deciding to just let an abuser get off with their crimes?

FORGIVENESS ... You owe it to your health

Share this