Oubliette
You might try getting your wife to think about this, "Why does she feel the need to tell the elders about your personal thoughts and private discussions? What does this mean about your relationship? What does this say about the religion?"
That being said, tread lightly and proceed cautiously.
So THEY can influence your wife, but YOU cannot!
Few things shout, "Cult!" as loudly as behavior like this.
The only thing more ridiculous than the notion that anyone thinks they have the right to tell another adult WHO they can and cannot talk to and WHAT they can and cannot discuss is that anyone goes along with it.
Well I have been thinking long and hard as to this post. It is amazing to me how normal people such as Oubliette will view this situation, (normal in the respect they are not active JWs, no disrespect meant) and yet in regards to myself, these thoughts really never occured in my mind. Apparently a submissive attitude is still deeply engrained in my subconscious. During the course of my discussion with these elders I truly believe they felt that they were allowing me to have my own thinking, not realizing that by limiting a discussion between adults, that stifles a discussion that could truly help individuals grow. I am thankful for all the responses at this board it has really been a boost to see so many heartfelt, honest replies, even though im sure many of us have our own individual opinions in regards to the WT organization.
This takes me too my next question for many of the members here. I know from reading many of the posts here that many people here truly view the WT as a potentially damaging organization to many people, and while it is true their policies have been shown to harm many people, I personally do not hold the view that much of the leadership is inherently evil, or has some plot to make millions. From my lifetime in the organization I think most people genuinely want to serve God and life a good life. To me it seems as if the organization and the policies/doctrines that have developed, have become not some Biblical truth, but their own entity so to speak, forcing regular people to toe-the-line to established traditions. I say this because if I am disfellowshipped someday(a prospect that will have little effect on my life), based upon entire history with many different elders and serving as a pioneer and m.s., I believe the elders truly think they will be serving God, and possibly even "helping" me in some twisted way.
So what is the question then I was supposed to ask, do you view this organization, an organization with which you know doubt had many close friends because of, do you think this organization is inherently evil? Perhaps evil evokes an image of intense malice, perhaps dangerous may be a better word? But please, I would love to hear your thoughts.
...OUTLAW