ALL JW's to be at the meeting this week...

by Newly Enlightened 56 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • skeeter1

    Well, I missed that announcement about the 1 day assemblies. Why? I'm thinking that the WTS will get more donations.



    .................It will be the same Crap the WBT$ Feeds JW`s at every Meeting..


    ..............WBT$ Special Left Overs........................................I Feel Sick..I Think It`..

    From The Same WBT$ Crap You Ate Last Time................WBT$ Spiritual Food Poisoning..


    ........................................................................  photo mutley-ani1.gif...OUTLAW

  • wearewatchingyouman

    This just in: Governing Body says Angels told them Jesus liked boys. Tight pants and manscaping cool now. Stop with the homophobia. Big orgy after the memorial to commemorate what really happened at the last supper. Bring condoms and astroglide.

  • diana netherton
    diana netherton

    "effectively immediately, all zone overseers will now be called zone drones. The visit of a zone drone to a branch will be called a drone-in rather than a zone visit. All convention names will be changed immediately with the word "mindless" in front of them, regardless of their length or content.

    To the body of elders:

    Please read this to the congregation and then immediately destroy. Further instructions to follow....

  • Syme


    "Dear Brothers,

    We are thrilled to announce that the Great Tribulation has begun! After carefully and prayerfully reviewing the Scriptures in the light of recent world events (world economic crisis, erm, bad things, wars, you know), it seems apparent that the Great T has indeed begun.

    This means that action must be taken by all of us, according to Jesus' words in Luke, as well as in the prophecy of Isiah. So, effective immediately, all baptized publishers are instructed to hand in their immobile and mobile property to the Organization, in order to prepare for the coming harsh attack on God's people by Gog's forces. This logically includes all bank deposits a publisher may have. In opposite case, Satan's worldly powers could be in a position to get hold of publishers' valuables and confiscate them. The Bible clearly says they will try to do that! So, that is why we must not let them. We should all remember that when we devoted ourselves to Jehovah, we handed down to Him everything we owned, including all material wealth. So, Jehovah is actually the Owner of all that we got. Do you want to allow the worldly authorities steal what is owned by God? May that never happen!

    Now is the time, brothers, for immediate obedience, so that we are safe in Jehovah's hands. Please remember what the Watchtower wrote some time ago: "Our survival through the Great Tribulation will depend on the speed by which we obey the instructions given to us by God's Organization". The time to follow this advice has arrived.

    We are certain that you will do what is required in order to remain in God's love in those last hours of Satan's wicked system.

    Our thoughts and prayers are always with you.

    Your ''brothers'',

    Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses"

  • villagegirl

    Shirley - if I may call you that - Hilarious and ... love 9. 10. 11.

    actually very realistic... they demote Jesus why not Jehovah as well ...

    lots of sub-classes as long as they are on top.

    The letter shows the small minded, self absorbed, bureaucrats, they

    are, living in allusions of grandeur. Next has got to come distinguishing

    robes and pointed hats, and veils for women.

  • Zordino

    Dear brothers,

    Because of our new lite on the overlapping contemporaries Generations teaching, we ALL realise that we are now deep into the time of the end and we need to stay close to the earthly part of J's Org. That is why we at this time require all of God's people to donate all of their assets to the WatchTower Corporation or one of its subsidiary Corporation's immediately. We will have spiritualy minded Accounting Auditer's visit with each member of each Congregation in order to assess all of the publisher's assets whether they be liquid assets, or real estate, stocks, bonds, life insurance, gold, jewlery, cars, boats, pets, childern, etc etc.... you get the picture. Refusal to cooperate with J's Org will result in immediate Disfellowshiping! We're not F'ing around anymore! We are God's mouth piece so Shut up and Listen.

    Warm Christian Love, from your brothers of the Bethel Family at the top of the Pyramid Scheme.

  • raymond frantz
    raymond frantz

    We had them read in our congragation ,first the letter about the new terminology and then the RBC will be come the inhouse DESIGN & PLANNING department because they can't cope with so many new kingdom halls and refurbishent ,it's all free free free for them

  • Fernando

    According to new light just in, we deserve to get fatter and more powerful on your dime, time and energy.

    We love this idea.

    Now get to it already bitches.

  • raymond frantz

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