ALL JW's to be at the meeting this week...

by Newly Enlightened 56 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Watchtower-Free
  • AndDontCallMeShirley

    My guesses:

    1. Aux Pioneer hours will be reduced from 30 to 6 hours to get more volunteers for March/April.

    2. Armageddon is still coming...."soon"

    3. Plans for the Olympic-sized swimming pool at Warwick have been expanded. Please donate more money to cover the cost,

    as it is "Jehovah's Pool"afterall.

    4. Awake! magazine will now be only one page in length and come out every other month.

    5. This just in: Anthony Morris III's latest idiotic comments

    6. The "Silver Sword"™ has been revised and updated as per "new light".

    7. Anyone continuing to use the old NWT will be disfellowshipped

    8. Anyone continuing to use the old "Silver Sword" will be disfellowshipped

    9. "Governing Body" will now have an even bigger "G" and "B" font than before. Anyone using the old, smaller, "G" and "B" will be disfellowshipped.

    10. The WT is now second in command of heaven and earth; Jesus is a "domestic", the anointed are now "rank-and-file", the rank-and-file are now "Disposable Pond Scum Worker Units".

    11. This just in: "New Light"™: WT is now Jehovah, Jehovah is a "domestic", Jesus is.......

  • Comatose

    post of the day ADCMS. lolol

  • leaving_quietly

    Seems like it might be a local thing. Nothing announced here yesterday, and that letter was already read. Keep us updated if you go this week.

  • TTATTelder

    no new letters issued since the "terminology" one in the U.S.

  • Frazzled UBM
    Frazzled UBM

    What country are you in Newly Enlightened?

  • SecretHeart11

    Probably passing a resolution? I have some vague memory of a resolution being announced in a few weeks?

  • steve2

    It's a special meeting to announce there will be no more special meetings...

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Could it be the letter announcing a new department at the Branch which is going to be composed of full-time RBC professionals?

    In other words, professional skills for free as the real estate empire is expanded quickly, before the lawsuits have too big an impact!!!

  • Londo111

    Then again, all JWs are supposed to be at every meeting every week.

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