Hygh's Story

by Hyghlandyr 43 Replies latest members adult

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  sf

  "I feel fortunate to have met you and stayed at your home for 5 days."

  Hahahaha, ah yes, as parts of cyg's 'adventure' were on cam.

  Hygh, I love you and I love Robert too.

  {{hugs}}

  sKally
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  RedhorseWoman

  Hygh, I'm glad that you have continued to love life, even though it has not always dealt kindly with you.

  There have been times that I've wondered why I've had to experience various things in my life (the old, why-me syndrome). It usually turns out that having gone through these things and survived has allowed me to understand what others have had to endure....and perhaps be able to help them.

  That, in and of itself, is a reward.
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  myriamme

  Hyghlandyr your life experiance has touched me deeply thank you for sharing that with us. It must have been painfull.

  Perhaps one day you will, after you have delt with the after effects of writing all your life out to share your pain, find your way back to the love that God wanted for all his childrens without feeling the emotinoal shivers brought on from the memories of trauma you and your sisters survived from spiritualy corrupt so called adults.

  I read somewhere that a human could get beyond any event in life as long as he or she found reason for that event happening to them. Perhaps the person who wrote that did not encounter the devastated human hearts such as yourself and so many others that come to this forum and other chat sites and who have lived events so difficult to comprehend more times than we could dreadfully imagine.

  If it could be of any sort of consolation to you , I went through draumatic events with a brother of mine but more abusif than if he had just convinced me to do something i could regret and from my own life expreriance, yes, deffinately, and without a doubt, if your sister has forgiven you , just to be able to do that, is that she is past that event in her life and has come to terms with what happend.

  Of course we can forgive others, that somehow is perhaps the only thing we can do as victims but then at least we have that power to do so if we chose to . You know, with God's help I did see why it happend to me and got over it because I understood that my brother had lived tremendous pain on his side in abusif situations too that maid him chose to do what he did. It dosent excuse , but it dose explain an awful lot when you get right down to it and know that he was a child of abuse abusing in return.

  With this out, perhaps now you will want to give yourself the one thing that your sister nore anyone else can ever give you but God (I still believe in him now that the pain is gone) and that is to come to forgive yourself for what events went on that were beyond your grasp or power to change as the child and then teen that you were .

  Perhaps it is true after all that if we understand what we lived , that we can get past it in a great way, you seem to have a good comprehension of the way the mind works and therefore of some of the reasons peoples are brought to being the worst ennemies they have in their own lives and making lives of others misserable at the same time, now comes the time to talk to your best friend Joseph from those years and explain it to him and give him slowly the amour he so needs to grow in that understanding.

  You lived pain you should not have, you had no say, I can't speak for those who wronged you , no one ever could , I would like to let you hear the warmth of compassion i have in my heart for someone who has suffered as I have to much if only to let you see that there is indeed life after pain and amour after empty years of emotinal neglect perhaps one day you will be able to hear that from within your own self after you have given yourself time to heal.

  As I said in the begining of my responce, if having brought your suffering out in the open for what ever reasons you saw fit, permits you to see once again that God did not intend that his childrens suffer what you went through, if in some way you could see all the amour that others here offer you in the responces that you receive, if you can know that you are today not the helpless child on who all that pain was imposed, then perhaps one day you will learn to give yourself with every new day that can be so beautiful when we finaly see the light of joy and amour that is our true heritage , the amour you so deserve as God's (I still believe in him now that the pain is gone) loving child.

  Be well Hyghlandyr , find peace, you have allways been allowed.
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  LyinEyes

  Hygh, I am sitting here at 3 in the morning reading your story. When I finished reading it, all I could think was , what can I say to you . I have no words, just emotions ,,,, for all that have been thru such horrors. It makes me sad , to think of the ones who are still in JW being subjected to the same horrible things. Not just JW's either, all the children in the world. I dont understand God for this very reason, it is a great stumbling block to me, how can He take so long before He puts an end to it? Sorry, but personal stories like this make me feel so helpless,,,, I get so angry !!! I think alot of us , who have read this story can see ourselves in it too, we all have such similar stories. Again, I do not have the words to speak ...... but know that we all care about you. Sincerly, Dede
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  Nikita

  ((((((((((Hyghlandyr)))))))))))

  I was so touched by your story. Thank you for sharing.

  Nikita
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  crownboy

  (((Hyghlandyr)))

  Excellent story, man. Glad you were able to overcome all those obstacles and troubles that plagued you in your early life. I usually never read stories this long, but your story was so gripping it was worth the time.

  Your experience in finding out "the truth about the truth" sounds something like mine. The first site I went on was the beyond JW's site (out of pure curiousity), and the second on was the Quotes website (by the same happy accident you experienced! I was trying to access the JW homepage). The Quotes site was a real eye opener, for me. I just hope you experience joy from here on out, because you definitely deserve it .
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  Yadira Angelini

  Hygh, I forgot to mention it to you, one of my four daughters, was born December 21, 1967; three days after you... I have two sons too.
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  Quotes

  Quotes

  Then in December of 1999 my wife had surgery. As a present for her, while she was in the hospital, I decided to print up the Society's website. What was it? Oh yes jehovahswitnesses.com that seemed logical. But it wasnt't the right website. I found it interesting that I could have for instance josephfrantz.jehovahswitnesses.com and [email protected] and Latina could have her own as well. So I clicked some more, ending up at quotes.jehovahswitnesses.com .

  I was aghast, slowly I was angered, more and more. I ran into my basement and searched through the books I had, trying to find those that were quoted. I was fortunate to have many of the older books. And sure enough there were those quotes.

  I just wanted to say I was blown away by your story, and glad that my website played a small part in relasing you.

  And one more thing: you are exactly one day older than me. Cool...

  ===========================
  For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
  http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com
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  raven101

  Hi Hygh,

  I'm very new here, it's very late, I'm so very tired . . . delirious nearly, I just hope I can convey my feelings and thoughts to you. About your story. So many have already responded to you so aptly, assuring you, reminding you that it was in no way your fault, I also understand that knowing and feeling are too often two different things. I remember being a kid and feeling so responsible, so accountable, I guess its just natural because your always a grown-up to yourself . . . the only one in your head. I don't know the secret recipe for changing knowing into feeling if I did I'd share it with you. With everybody.

  But I want to say your story was so profound its hard to express, few things have that capacity elicit such a depth of understanding. Its like a song you once heard that brought a color and a feeling with it. . . so hard to explain. But it did, it was like dry brown earth, dust, like I was enveloped in it like it wrapped itself around me, like I was there. Such terrible beauty. Such valiant beautiful hearts you children had.
  THAT is BEAUTY, THAT is REDEMPTION! Every day you three rose up always hoping, every day you went on struggled, on fought on, through everything . . . and still laughed, still played. While the ones that who were supposed to protect and care for you were tearing at everything in their own personal battles, wreaking havoc and striking out in wounded senselessness or just succumbing to numb dominion of (whatever ugly thing). In spite of all that darkness you three still saw the light. Even the dragonflys knew that.

  And in the last three paragraphs or so you wrote you brought it all up so high, higher than it ever could have been if it had never been so low.

  I want to thank you for sharing your life, and especially in those last few paragraphs for helping me to really FEEL something I have KNOWN, something about some beautiful essence, something about redemption.
  
  Thanks for the key Hygh,

  raven101
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  MarchOn

  Hygh,
  Where to begin, what to say? I read alot but nothing, I mean nothing has moved me like this. I was in chat one day and you and Imbue were going at it, well, being fairly new to the board and reading some of the things you were saying to her made you sound kind of cruel. You were being funny yet mean at the same time. It was then that I wondered what your story was. What I noticed was a similarity between our personalities which made me really pay attention to what and how you were saying things. You come off as a cynical bastard. Being the female version of that I felt a connection.

  Then I come across this post. Was this a surprise to me? Not really. My childhood was also filled with abuse, not of a sexual nature but of the physical kind. What I see in people like us, is that we use humor and cynicism in our dealings with others. The humor draws them in (we do want people to like us). The cynicism pushes them away (because we don't want to get them to close, they might hurt us too). It has been for me a life long struggle. Because at times it would be easier to shut down and not let anyone in that could cause more pain.

  What your story did for me? It reminded me again that I am not alone in my struggles. That there are so many of us out there that have had to put up this hard exterior so that we don't have to feel the same kind of pain of our childhood. It may not seem like it to other people with the way we come off, but we do indeed want to be loved too.

  Hygh, I want to say that even though I have never met you face to face, you are my "brother" in life and for that I love you.

  Thank You so much for this post.
  And on a more humorous note, I'm not stalking you!!