Should I allow my mom to see the grandchildren?

by confusedandalone 64 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • ldrnomo
    ldrnomo

    I also agree with coffee_black. If she wants to see them that bad she'll have to see you also. That will also make sure she doesn't put any cultish thoughts in your childrens minds.

  • scary21
    scary21

    I say NO NO NO. You are a family, a package deal. If you are dead to them, imagine how that will mess with your childrens minds. Turn it around ,can you imagine if they would see and love you, but refused to talk or see your children ???? Would you allow that ?? Better to cut them off now then to have more problems in the future. Your children would end up shunning you too if your parents had their way !!!

    If your parent don't shun than that is other story.

    IMHO Sherry....so sorry you have to go thru this...hugs

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    I feel that if you can speak abusive of your own son and wife and shun the.

    Prior to an announcement you are evil. Not worthy of seeing my kids. I am torn.....confusedandalone

    JW GrandParents Teach the Grandchildren to Disrespect their Parents..

    .

    ...........................Did you Enjoy the Kingdom Hall??!..

    ..... Your Mom And Dad Suck!..........Jehovah`s Going To Kill Them!..

    ......................

    ..................................................................................... photo mutley-ani1.gif ...OUTLAW

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    Supervised visits are always an option!

    Play Stella By Starlight for your mom and ask her if it sounds familiar?

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    If your mother doesn't love you enough to have a normal relationship with you then she can't possibly love your children either. Her purpose is to make converts out of them and create a rift between you and your children.

    Never allow anyone to teach your children that it's OK to disrespect you.

    W

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    This is purely a personal decision. Either way there's going to be hurt.

    Outlaw nailed it for me!! Your kids are going to be the focus of "being saved" by your mother, and she will eventually ask if the kids can stay over some weekends, (guess what for!!) so I would lay down the terms and conditions as, "We come to visit you as a family, and we leave as a family".

    If she can't accept such reasonable terms, then you will have to tell her that you will explain her Organizational command never to associate with you again, as long as you don't agree with what her Org teaches her!!

    It's her choice.

  • nugget
    nugget

    In my opinion it is unwise to let children have unsupervised access to anyone who may coerce them or be a negative influence. By letting her have unsupervised access you would have no control over what she says to them. In addition you are saying to the children that it is ok for your parents to treat their children badly and you are happy to enable them to shun you.

    I would say to her that she is welcome to come to your home any time and visit the children, but if she comes she is not permitted to talk about you and your wife in a negative way and she must be polite. You and your children are a package deal because you are a family.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    She told me our relationship is done. I have been disowned in her own words. Why would she think I want her in my kids life

    Well, there's your answer. Don't let your kids near her.

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Considering the back story you have shared with us over the past months I am terribily disappointed in your parents and how they have treated you and your family.

    My first response is....... no way do they qualify for a visit as they have actively promoted the breakup of their family. They could have remained silent as you negoitated your fade/departure. Instead they actively pursued you.

    The WT promotes the idea that shunning is the most loving way to bring someone back into the fold. Since they are more then willing to shun you as a lesson you can certainly take the same extreme stance. That you are not allowing them contact with their grandchildren as a loving act to help them relearn the importance of family love which they have obviously lost. And that 'family business also includes family visits and concerns about family health and happiness.

    However.......... I also appreciate what others have said especially setting a loving example for your children.

    It would be eye opening for the children to see you welcome their grandparents with respect and dignity, hang their coats up, offer refreshments and sit in the room reading a newspaper being ignored with cold rightous silence.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    I share with her 1corthinaians 13 :13 then say u put your faith before love, and even Jesus said it was all about love, so since there is no love in your heart then no.

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