I think my faith might be returning. Feeling very confused.

jambon1

Hi

I've been out the organisation for around 8 years. When I first left, Im positive that I suffered from some sort of post traumatic stress. I was very angry at myself for accepting the really bad parts of the religion that I strongly disagreed with. In the process I kind of looked at myself as an atheist and was happy with that. I'd had my fill of religion.

However, in the last year or so, I've found it hard to separate myself from my belief that there is a creator. This was one of the main things that made me grasp life as a JW. That part really made sense to me. I've tried to dismiss it due to my complete mistrust of religion but I can't do it. Last year I even went to one meeting at the KH. However, my disdain for the witnesses manner of worship and their made up rules really does mean that I could never return there. I can't really express strongly enough in this post that I'm not entertaining in any way returning to meetings.

But where does that leave me? I've got a burning desire to read the bible again and when I do it sort of makes sense to me. But I could never be partof a religion again. Is there anyone else like this?

I'll be clear also when I say they none of this comes from a lack of happiness. I have a happy family. I enjoy my work. Have a good balance with that. I also have tons of friends and a very active social life. The only thing I'd say is that I've never been all that happy with my kind of lapse from being a more moral thinking person. Since leaving the witnesses I've kind of let all that go to some extent (not done bad things though).

It just feels like I'm being drawn to a spiritual outlook. But how? And what can I do? Start praying again? When I read the bible a lot of it makes sense and yet a lot of it just confuses me.

Thoughts?

Holey_Cheeses*King_of_the juice.

Take the jesus test brother.

Are you sure it is your faith returning, and not just another migraine? Or an illness you had as a child?

Cheeses. Ever helpful.

stillin

Nothing wrong with reading the Bible. Nothing wrong with thinking that there's a God out there somewhere. Nothing wrong with having a set of moral guidelines for your life. Nothing wrong with finding people who share your feelings and considering them "friends."

Leaving the way of life that the WTS constructs around believers can leave an empty spot inside of us that won't go away for a while. Just take the time to remind yourself what is involved with jumping back into that mess and ask yourself if you truly want all of the self-deception that is required.

to thine self, be true.

zeb

buy a non jw bible and read away! Have a look at the "Book depository" they have a range and nicely bound etc for very reasonable prices.

carla

Nothing wrong with taking up a bible to see where it takes you or reread it without the wt glasses on. I would strongly suggest that if you desire to read it again do NOT use the NWT. I'm sure you already knew that. Read it as if you have never picked up a bible in your life before, resist the urge of old wt thinking to cloud your perspective and see where it takes you. Some suggest starting with the New Testament and reading it all the way through rather than starting with the Old Testament. Read it like a book instead of scattered scripture here and there. Wishing you well on your continued journey.

quellycatface

There is nothing wrong about beleiving in God or a Creator. It's all the other stuff that comes with being a part of organised religion. I feel the same as you.

There has been a huge cock-up with the NWT, bits missing, bits added, language changed. What happened to 1 Tim 3:16 there then??

As zeb said, get a non-JW and have a read. The Living Bible always looks a bit more fun.

Good luck in your search for what you need. X

designs

Culturally we all have been taught that a God/Supreme Being is the way to explain reality and the origins of all things. It is not so unusal to expect those thoughts and feelings to reemerge.

Many of us went through our post JW spiritua/religion phase its only natural. Be good to yourself.

Ruby456

Jambon1 we live in a beautiful world and I don't think that it is just that we create/make it appear as beautiful. I think that it exudes and creates beauty too. Additionally some atheists are religious minded - I know that I am and I feel very comfortable about it. New atheism would pooh pooh this type of thing but their philosophy is full of holes so don't pay attention to their ridicule when it comes as you are free to construct narratives, like creator god narratives for yourself, to explore theoretical explanations that the world around seems to call for and that may sustain your enchantment with the world.

Syme

Well, if you want to start studying the Bible again, DON'T use the NWT! That is a doctrinal trojan horse designed specifically to lure readers into WTS, it's the same as the "bible teach" book.

If, on the other hand, you want to study the Bible CRITICALLY, and have the courage to do so, you may read along "The God Delusion" by Dawkins, "God is not great" by Hitchens, or "the End of Faith" by Sam Harris. Yes, those are avid atheists, but "spirituality" does not have to be constrained in reading an allegedely holy book. Spirituality includes philosophy, arts, science, love of knowledge. As for morality... well just read Joshua, Judges, all the genocides committed by God's people, ordered by Abrahamic God himself; you're going to see that our high morality standards come from secular, humanitarian sources, and not from a book that orders to slaughter all the non-believers & their infants, burn the homosexuals and treat women like donkeys.

Laika

Why not start praying again? You haven't got anything to lose.

I think my faith might be returning. Feeling very confused.

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