I regret my disassociation.

by Zoos 30 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Everybody has to look at their own life and decide what's best.

  For many, simply walking away without officially DA'ing and without getting DF'ed allows them to stay in contact with family.

  As far as dropping hints to help others, it could be done for awhile, months maybe. Perhaps you can tolerate meetings even more than a year or two for immediate family to keep helping them see the problems with WTS. Certainly, you want to help a spouse and children out of the JW's if you can.

  And you are free to help whomever you want, but I want to say that the vast majority of "friends" in "the truth" will drop you or drag you back. Many need to accept that fading or staying in for loved ones is one thing, but it typically doesn't help with friends. If you have a close friend, often the best way to help them is to leave (fade, DA, DF, just stop going) and see if they care enough to overcome their Watchtower training and pursue the friendship outside of the confines of the religion.
• 

  cantleave

  The chances are if you tried to help people you would be labelled apostate and DF'd anyway. Don't regret anything, just get on with your life.
• 

  rawe

  Hi Everyone,

  At first I felt sending a letter of disassociation is playing by their rules too, so I didn't do that. Of course after putting Christmas lights on my house 2 years after leaving I was the subject of disassocation by action. In my case I even agreed to meet with the elders who contacted me, so long as I could record the meeting and have a lawyer present. I even suggested they could make a public announcement that I was an atheist, so long as they made it clear they were not directing anyone to shun me or implying I was 'wicked' (1 Cor 5:1, 13)

  Not too surprisingly, they didn't take me up on the offer.

  Sending a letter of resignation to any organization is a prerogative of the individual. What Jehovah's Witnesses decide to do with that information is on them. If they choose to publically slander the individual and use their religious influence to negatively influence normal family affections, then they should not be surprised to be labelled a 'cult.'

  What I do think is playing by their rules, is participating in our own shunning. That I try hard not to do, but instead interact with any family and friends who are Witnesses in a normal friendly matter. At the same time, I don't try to go out of my way to make my JW friends and family uncomfortable, knowing that much of how they act is the result of the delusional influence they're under.

  Take care,

  -Randy
• 

  Narcissistic Supply

  You can live your entire life regretting whatever you want. Nobody will stop you. Grow a pair. Start where you stand. Do what you can with what you have. You are unique and your resources are valuable.

  What the hell. don't fret over the past. It's a new day.

  You can't help people who don't want to be helped.

  Get on with it buddy. Don't spend one minute worrying about the past. It's gone. Life is short.

  Play hard.

  Best,
• 

  The Searcher

  ZOOS said - "Once you disassociate, you will sever your ability to convey that information to friends and family".

  Disassociating yourself is 100% perfect solution - if you want to cut all Witness friends and relatives instantly out of your life because you don't give a damn for any of them!! Great - go and start a totally new life, and build up a new circle of friends.

  However, if you know TTATT and you are sick of what is being fed to those whom you really care about, create your own rules, and set boundaries as to what you are prepared to do, and what you you point-blank refuse to do. At the very worst, you will be viewed by many as being one of those on the 'edge' of the congregation, and the "glorious ones" or "princes" will just lose interest in you and leave you alone!

  Then you will be perfectly placed to plant those little seeds by raising questions about "things you don't understand"!
• 

  sspo

  Fading is the best in my opinion. You also piss a few of them off since they know you're an apostate and yet you were not DF .
• 

  bafh

  If you really want to - you could get reinstated and go back to "rescue" those who you think you can help. I'm not sure however, that I think it is our place to mess with what another person believes. Some people need to believe in something like this, and it could cause them more harm than good to pull that out from under them.
• 

  mrquik

  We all have regrets. Regrets we got involved, we got family involved, we stayed, we left. That the Bills didn't make the playoffs again. Don't let it eat at you. Move on. As I always say

  "Live Well.......Enjoy Life."

  (On another note; should the Bills make the playoffs in 2014 I'm taking it as a sure sign that Armageddon is near.)
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Regardless of whether you DA, DF, or fade, get on with a really good life.

  Technically, the announcement is the same whether you DA or are DFd. The JWs want you to suffer and be miserable without their "love" and their "hope". Want to send a message to your friends? Put on a smile and get on with a fantasitic life!
• 

  snare&racket

  Zoos,

  I am envious of you, your conscience is cleaner, you have severed all ties. For as long as I am listed somewhere as a JW, I will be uneasy. I understand your view and to be honest I am awaiting just a couple more people to leave, then I will do it also.