I regret my disassociation.

by Zoos 30 Replies latest jw friends

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  Zoos

  If I knew then what I know now, I might never have disassociated myself. I realize all I can do is speculate on what could have been. However, when I consider the number of people I might have been able to help by dropping little thought-provoking seeds, I really regret having jumped to the decision to disassociate so quickly.

  I’ve read the accounts of several people on this forum telling of how stressful it is to be in the position that I just described above. I’m not suggesting that anyone endanger his or her health or sanity for the sake of waking up others. But if you are still in and awake and thinking of disassociating yourself, please stop and consider this:

  1- There is a mountain of information for you to discover and you probably only know a fraction of what you are about to learn about this organization.

  2- Once you disassociate, you will sever your ability to convey that information to friends and family, even if only in a limited and stealthy manner.

  Others, please add to this list
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  designs

  Its true we are treated like lepers by our former friends and family but there are enough resources out there for even the most obstinate JW to consider. That they may not now consider that mountain of evidence does not mean they will not in the future. It is on each of us to be the captain of our own ship not others.
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  adamah

  Well, to play Devil's advocate, NOT DAing carries risks, too: cold feet, and still being a part of the JW organization, and hence adding one more warm body to the head count to boost the attendance roles. There's something to be said for shutting that door and moving on with your life, since it's very stressful to remain in JW limbo.

  It's nice to think you can help others to see TTATT, but not everyone is cut out for the 'Spy vs Spy' game, and living in limbo and being a hypocrit. Ultimately, you can only save yourself, and you actually vote with your feet by putting your money where your beliefs are.

  Adam
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  rip van winkle

  Zoos, I've been trying for over a year to awaken 'friends', scattering seeds. I really haven't gotten very far at all. So, where you have the regret of DAing, I am regretting my fade. As I haven't any family JWs it wouldn't hurt me any more or less to have DA'd.

  I'm positive that under the right circumstances Jw' s awaken. I fought cognitive dissonance for years and years. No ONE person woke me up. It was a series of events, personal events, that led to my awakening. AND it took me several years to come out of my stupor and start thinking.
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  Watchtower-Free

  You are 100% correct. Disassociating voluntarily plays by thier rules.

  http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y516/hightech199/USER1-PC/1a-Pics/Mine/PEnding%20post/opinionmeanshitGB_zpsd31a8869.jpg
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  rebel8

  Playing by their rules also reinforces the cult authority and relative truthiness to those who remain in. By doing so, you are making a statement that you respect their authority, and that it deserves that respect. IMHO

  If they are to be the bullying shunners, then let them be that. If they are to be the wackos who condemn you for being a healthy, normal person, then let that behavior speak volumes to the dubs.
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  yadda yadda 2

  You should never regret leaving a religious brainwashing cult. The feeling of regret your having is false and just coming from your former JW indoctrination and black-and-white world mentality (everything is 'true' or 'false') that formerly made you feel compelled to 'help' all those worldlings and people trapped in false religions, except now it's the flip side of the coin. You now feel regret because you can't anti-preach to the JW's you left behind.

  Feeling you must 'help' JW's leave by staying in the organisation is as false as thinking you must become a Muslim to help Muslims escape their religion or you must become a Buddhist monk to help them see the error of Buddhist ways, or return to the religion you might have been in, eg, Catholic, before you became a JW. The only reason to stay in a religion you've mentally left might be for family reasons but not to 'save' them from their religion.
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  Hummingbird001

  Many people who are doubting the religion, are showing up here. You could be a lot of help to them right here, Zoos.
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  Satanus

  Wanting to help is fine. There is no obligation to help jws out, though. Responsibily to rescue people from false religion is a wt idea. Its one of their main doctrines. You can drop that doctrine, too, if you want to be a regular person on this planet.

  When a jw is ready to learn ttatt, there is lots of info and lots of people available to help. The easterners have a saying, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. It has been my experience that this is true.

  S
• 

  Jeffro

  Zoos:

  If I knew then what I know now, I might never have disassociated myself. I realize all I can do is speculate on what could have been. However, when I consider the number of people I might have been able to help by dropping little thought-provoking seeds, I really regret having jumped to the decision to disassociate so quickly.

  There's certainly no reason to 'play by their rules', including 'disassociating'. However, JW elders can also decide that a person has 'disassociated himself by his actions', which doesn't require any formal 'resignation' by the individual and also provides no right of appeal. That is what would happen if it ever became obvious that a JW were 'sowing seeds of doubt'. Because congregation members are not told any of the circumstances of why they're 'supposed' to shun any particular person, many JWs will presume that the person has 'committed immorality', which the Watch Tower Society claims is the most common reason for 'expulsion'.

  Anyone planning to 'lay low' in a JW congregation in order to help others would be wise to foster relationships outside 'the organisation' at the same time, so they have a support group if/when JW elders decide to enforce shunning.