by Cygnus 74 Replies latest jw friends
Lisa, You forget who he is friends with..I don't think exposing her to Hyghlandyr will help him...LMAO Well maybe you didn't know that they are very close...
You need to expose her to worldly people that are your friends. Let her see they are not all demonized perverts like the WBTS says they are.
Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Lonewolf:
Thanks for your post. I do not believe JWs have the truth, however. Not by a long shot. In fact, I am tired of the word "truth."
Valis:
It figures you would completely miss the point and mock what you do not understand. I used to kid around with you in chat for a reason, which is well demonstrated here by your input in this thread.
Eman:
In my scenario, what would change? This: a restoration of a particular avenue of my life's choices of associates and resources that have been stripped from me, partly due to my own fault. Dude, it's not like I want to tote around JW pamphlets and preach to people.
Yeru:
I don't tell my wife to do anything. Tomorrow is our ten year anniversary. Minus the 5 months we spent apart when I quit the JWs and she was unsure how to handle it. I do not want to ever be single again so I compromise. It is worth it.
Bridgette:
I very much appreciated your post. When I find some energy I might just follow your pattern.
So you think I don't understand? I've seen JWs stay together and be miserable a large portion of their lives, just for the sake of not getting DFd or DAd or losing privilidge within the congo and you tell me I'm mocking what you said? Obviously you are stuck in the "I can't make up my mind about being an individual" mode to get it. Letting someone kick you out of your own house so their holier than thou friends can sit on your couch and share uplifting association with your wife, is really an option? You ask yourself why she would do that to you? Who's feelings are more important? Yours? Her "friends"? What self respecting dude would tolerate that crap? Where is her respect for you, or is that all dependent on whether or not you are in the borg? Show me where in anything you said there is some deeper meaning other than you are either too confused or too chicken shit to be a critical thinker who knows better and is willing to take a real leap of conscience. For your own goddam sake!
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Valis,
You ask yourself why she would do that to you? Who's feelings are more important? Yours? Her "friends"? What self respecting dude would tolerate that crap? Where is her respect for you, or is that all dependent on whether or not you are in the borg?
He did say that she just asked him to leave for one evening. Do I think she is wrong to expect this? Yes! But it's part of communicating ones needs to their mate. She says she needs this and he can compromise or not. It seems that Cyngus loves his wife and wants to work things out to remain peaceful. I guess...
I imagine she might have to leave when his friends come. Note my comment above..LOL
Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Cygnus:
It's a tough situation you are in. Although most of my family (with the exception of my cousin) had left the JW's prior to my own departure, and my cousin has since left, it's still a struggle sometimes to abandon the baggage. For me, the baggage is all a part of the past, and I don't have anyone pressuring me, directly or insidiously, to return to the JW fold. I don't miss any of it, don't believe any of it, mind you, so my need for release has to do with letting go of programming, resentment, and anger about it all, and that in itself is a challenge.
The point is, if I (and others like myself, with similar circumstances) find it difficult to go through the process of "letting go", I can only imagine what it must be like for someone in your shoes, where you have a "live connection" to the Watchtower via your spouse. And let's face it, she's no doubt feeling the pressure, and has probably been terrified into believing that you are future "bird food." I don't know your situation, but even if she doesn't directly express a wish for you to return, I'm sure it's implied on a regular basis. That's tough. I don't envy your position.
On top of that, it sounds like you are very busy with work, but don't have a social outlet, and since it seems like we married folks tend to think about social interactions involving our spouses the majority of the time, that's got to be another pressure point. Again, I don't envy you.
However, I would really hate to see someone who doesn't agree with the JW's, and has seen through their charade, going back to them simply because it seems like the easy way to get friends back. If you can't truly follow their religion (and that will manifest to them) then they are going to question whether you are good association or not, and that's probably going to cause you and your wife grief.
But, it seems like you must have a decent marraige apart from the JW thing that has held you together all these years. Would you guys ever consider counseling from a professional therapist? Maybe there is some compromise you guys can reach that hasn't been thought of yet that a therapist could assist in structuring. Also, if you both were involved in it, perhaps she take the opportunity to talk about feelings that she might otherwise not feel safe discussing. (Again, I don't know her, but quite often women in the JW's don't feel the freedom to discuss their deep emotions/thinking for fear of reprisal. Well, so do men but women are probably more fearful because they have to be "submissive.") Just some ideas.
You are in a tough predicament. I wish you all the best of luck in finding your answers. :)
Cheers,
~arachnia
Say not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth."
-Kahlil Gibran
Cygnus,
You gotta do what you gotta do. If going back would enhance your social life, then perhaps you should do it. I think that if you do go back you have to be careful. I don't think you can specify conditions to the elders. I think such specifications would be soundly rejected. You probably would be better off to humbly ask for forgiveness, and then keep your mouth shut.
Although a different scenario, your situation reminds me of my father. He was never a Witness while I was growing up. When I was about 18 years old, he started studying and got baptized. He was always pretty inactive, and I'm sure others thought he was spiritually weak. I think he did what you are thinking about doing. He joined so that he could have some semblence of a social life with my mother. He did accomplish that, and spent minimal time at the Hall.
Cygnus,
You said:
[Quote]
: Here's an example of something I still believe is logical about witness teaching. That the soul is not immortal. Prove to me logically that the soul is immortal. Prove to me that God is a trinity. Prove to me that there is a hell where people are tormented eternally. You said absolutely nothing that Jehovahs Witnesses teach is logical. There's 3 for you to start with.[\Quote]
Farkel is correct - there is actually nothing logical at all about any JW teachings. Take immortality of the soul, for example. On the one hand it looks logical that JWs define soul to be the same as "person" and clearly people die. But, they also maintain that the anointed are instantly transported to immortaility in heaven on their faithful death (after 1878 or 1914/1918.) So what's logical about that? In essense, for all practical purposes, they believe in a variant of immortality of the soul - it's retsricted to a few, and, while not strictly immortality, it amounts to the same thing. Entirely illogical.
How can anyone prove that God is or is not a trinity when it is impossible to prove anything at all about God, including his or her existence? Again, the JW position is not based in logic but doctrinal disagreements with other religions.
As for Hell, prove that there isn't one! It is not logical to ask proof either way over hypotheticals, especially when you cherry pick them. For example, if I maintain that violet colored unicorns orbit Pluto then you are right to ask for proof. But, if you maintain that no such unicorns exist, because it is more logical to believe that sepia-tinted three-legged virgins live on Mars, then you have no case.
No one can prove that Hell exists, but a failure to do so has absolutely no consequences for the validity of JW teachings or their logic. For example, I find it illogical that 144,000 will literally go to heaven, while those thrown into Gehenna do so only symbolically,accoding to JW teachings. Ultimately, if you discount Hell for lack of proof then you must do the same thing for Heaven.
Your comments on the subjective nature of "truth" suggest that you are going through a bad patch - I would suggest that you seek out someone to discuss this stuff with objectively.
Herbert
Hi:
This is Ronin1
I read your story.
First, if you really want to be reinstated is should be for yourself and not your wife. And it should be for a spiritually biblical reason and not a superficial reason.
Second, you should not have to leave your home or adjust your lifestyle because your wife wants to have visitors. Your wife should take the attitude and the view that if her friends wants to visit, then they have to do so with you in the house, not necessarily in the same room
And if you are looking for something better since you have been outside the organization-stop looking. There is nothing better inside the organization or outside. All organized religions are the same and they have the same corruption: morally, intellectually, and ethically.
Look to the Bible and live your life according to that.
Hope this helps!!
Ronin1
Farkel, on your first post you said:
"We're old-time buds, right?
: I am feeling that while JWs are essentially intellectually corrupt, I could once again live within the sphere of their existence; for my wife's sake, and the sake of my current inferiorty complex.
That is a complex statement and we should break it down:
1) Dubs are intellectually corrupt. (This is not good.)
2) You think you could be a part of intellectually corrupt people again. (This is not good.)
3) Your wife wants this. (She wants you to be with intellectually corrupt people.)
4) You have an inferiority complex (I think you are messing with us, but I trust you, and I'll take that bait.)
So, being the uneducated dummy that I am, I see four points. Points one through four are all negative, and point three (another negative one) taken together with point four makes you think you should invite all that negative stuff back into your life again.
Summary: "I have bad self-esteem right now, so my best choice is to find a group that will demolish what little I have left."
Yeah, Cyg. That sounds like a GREAT solution to me.
Ok, fine. Good luck, BITT".
Very witty!
Cygnus, you don't know me and I don't know you yet. Never the less, I would like to let you know before I finish reading the last two pages of this thread, (I may fall sleep) cause I'm kind of tired tonight, that I wish you the best and you are very fortunate to have so many good friends on this forum. I'm sure you will find your way out and find peace and love ahead... love prevails. Sincerely,
Yadira
And... I'm sure hyghlander will pop out for you! maybe he has... I haven't finish reading the whole thread. If he has, tell him I say hi.
