First time poster

kneehighmiah

Hi. I finally decided to post. I'm so scared of being caught, so I'll be vague. I'm an appointed brother. I've served in foreign language and have had interview and demos on the conventions and assemblies as recently as this summer. I started doubting last year. I was falsely accused of wrongdoing. I was expecting loving treatment from the elders, but instead I was met with an inquisition. Evidence cleared me beyond doubt and the false accuser was punished, I was left scarred by the way things were handled. Being talked to like a child and threatened. The bible was only used once during the course of several meetings. I was sent to another congregation with a good recommendation.

I started to see that elders are not directed by spirit. Then the new changes about the fds and generation pushed me over the edge. I also started to feel the organization was more like a corporation. Endless scrutiny over punctuality, field service time and needless rules. No love. I'm no longer feeling refreshed. It's like I'm going to another job when I attend and the elders are my bosses. Also since I no longer believe the fds is the governing body, all the little rules have become burdensome. I believe the GB are sincere bible students, but they possess no special knowledge or authority from Jesus.

I'm still in because of family and friends. They don't believe the new teachings, but said that they'll wait until the new system to understand things. Very few agree with the FDS on education. Many of my friends attended college. I have family members in Bethel that have attended college as well. The main thing is I no longer feel any guilt. I'll turn down any new assignments and instead focus on being loving and helping everyone I meet.

kneehighmiah

Witness My Fury

Bloody Awesome!! Sorry I already welcomed another newbie today with Awesome, so yours deserved extra oomph.

It's a journey of discovery learning the Truth about the Truth, take your time and dont blab too much and you'll be fine.

Phizzy

Good to have you with us my short friend ! (I bet you are at least 6 foot, despite your screen name !)

I am looking forward to hearing more from you. Remember we are always here, for advice, chat or whatever.

Witness My Fury

Just to add, there appears to be a trend of newbies lately since the latest changes in "new light", I think this is a good sign.

nonjwspouse

Sounds like you have a good handle on things for yourself. I do hope you don't experience too much drama and difficulty as so many of the posters here have described.

I am always so impressed with people such as yourself who reason their way out of the indoctrination of the WT corperation. People who can break through the stranglehold of the thought control and really, really see.

Bravo to you kneehighmiah, and I like that little square smiling avatar of yours.

Band on the Run

Welcome. I've participated here for a few years. My family is multigeneratinal since Russell's time. We lived close to Bethel when the WTBTS was small so there was more intimacy. Most JWs knew every other JW and the Bethel members. My father and uncles worked in the factory. Rutherford saw my father at a convention and was impressed by his brawniness. My father also served as a bodyguard. I never liked it even as a child. To shorten my story, I faded at sixteen and brought my family with me. We had to pay lip service, however, to maintain family relationships. This was decades ago. I became quite worldly.

I learned so much here and continue to do so. My impression was that the Witnesses were well-meaning but clueless. Now I see deliberate fraud concerning outside scholarship and basic facts of history. B/c I left so long ago, I never knew others with the same experience. Somehow I ended up here. This forum can be mean or loving, in turns. So welcome. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

Ding

Welcome!

Not only do elders focus on organizational policy rather than the Bible, according to Ray Franz in Crisis of Conscience, the Governing Body does also.

When he joined the Governing Body, he thought their sessions would involve a great deal of Bible study and prayer. Both were largely absent. Instead, discussions revolved around previous WT publications as if the organization somehow had a separate existence of its own.

Oubliette

kneehighmiah, welcome! And thank you for a very thoughtful introductory post.

We certainly understand your feelings. I was somewhat fearful when I first started posting. As you can see that was nearly two thousand posts ago. As long as you don't reveal anything too specific you should be fine. For example, what you've written so far has sadly happened to so many people that there is no way anyone could conclusively say it was you. You have plausible deniability. Also, for the elders to try and say you in particular wrote this would be for them both to admit that they read posts on this board and that they acknowledge treating you badly.

A Message to Active Elders Lurking on JWN

I'm sorry you've been mistreated, but it is very common among us. Being a JW is the same as being in an abusive codependent relationship. You've woken up to the fact and are starting to assert your authentic self.

Try taking things slowly. Be careful what you reveal to anyone still in. Sadly, any kool-aid drinking JW will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat. Many of us here have had very close family and friends turn us into the elders for even discussing doubts.

I highly recommend you read Steven Hassan's excellent book: Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves.

RTB

Here are some other threads you might find helpful in your situation:

It's all pretty mind-blowing when you realize that this is NOT God's Visible Organization.

It's all about control and rules. Frankly, the JW hierarchy more closely resembles the Pharisees than anything else.

You may be right that "the GB are sincere bible students," but remember none of them have anything remotely resembling a decent education. They've lived very sheltered lives and are evidently deluded enough to actually believe that "they possess special knowledge and authority from Jesus," which clearly they do not.

I think your goal of being helpful and loving to any and all you can is terrific.

I look forward to reading more of your posts!

Oubliette

TweetieBird

Welcome! Take a deep breath and take things slowly. Losing the guilt is the first step in recovery.

First time poster

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