Do not talk about GAWD in Cracker Barrel on Sunday

by confusedandalone 27 Replies latest social humour

  • adamah

    CAA said-

    This dude instantly turned into a rabid animal. He said I was speaking of things I did not understand blah blah blah. God is loving and its the DEBIL dat is a LIE!!

    The more-edumacated (sic) believers will try to say all the violence, slavery, genocide, etc is not to be read literally, but as "metaphorical" (a 10-cent word their pastors taught them to parrot). They usually cannot answer when asked, "OK, so explain the symbolism then: what is the deeper meaning to be found when God commanded the genocide of Canaanites? What is the symbolism of an Israelite, a God-fearing person, owning other humans, and even being allowed to beat them death, just as long as they didn't die from the beating right away, but only after 'a day or two'?"

    (crickets chirping, since their pastor never explained that bit....)


  • confusedandalone

    " OK, so explain the symbolism then: "

    Also why would he use symbolism and metaphors when he could have just been direct.

    Just like the cloudy prophecies and all the other bullcrap that one has to be a detective to figure out.

    Does not seem like god wants people to know anything

  • adamah

    Heh, the coded meanings are necessary to hide the battle plan for Armageddon from the enemy, Team Satan: opsec, ya' know! Just ignore the fact that the Bible is the largest-seller in the history of mankind!

    Besides, Jehovah is a fair judge, and wouldn't allow any tampering in the Universal Sovereignty experiment (hence why God DIDN'T carry out the Flood, Tower of Babel, Sodom and Gomorrah, etc, etc. Nope, that would be CHEATING)!


  • EmptyInside

    Actually,I think I would have asked to be moved to another table,far away from that crackpot. I feel sorry for his kids.

    And if I shared any account with him,it would have been the one where Jeusus condemns the pharisee for making a showy display of praying. While,the poor sinner humbly prays in solitude.

  • tiki

    wow! i like phizzy's idea the best. i think if i were in that situation i would ask to be moved to another table far away from the maniac.....and if he kept up, management should be called in - because it is not in a restaurant's best interests for patrons to be annoying eachother - and this is more than annoyance - it is crackpot harassment!

  • blondie

    I would have involved the management immediately. They don't want customers chased away. No pearls before swine.

  • designs

    well done.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Good job.


    I probably would have cut to the chase there with "Then the spirit should have told you I was an atheist trying to enjoy his breakfast and to leave me alone because my demons are contagious." But that is me, I know you were trying not to start something until he pushed.

  • Bruja-del-Sol

    Phizzy, love your line LOL. The look on that guy's face would've been priceless if CAA had said that...

  • confusedandalone

    i think if i were in that situation i would ask to be moved to another table far away from the maniac...."

    This would have been best but honestly since my exit from religious insanity I do not mind confrontation. I am a very confrontational person in real life... not like I look for fights but I like the idea of discussion etc... most normal people would probably have taken the safer route LOL

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