Have you grown detached from caring about JW family and old friends?

by tootired2care 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    BLUE PILL2- Thanks for the kind comments, I appreciate it. Sorry I didn't read your response until Sunday morning- was busy cutting firewood for winter Saturday ! LOL ! In answer to your question my two JW daughters are in their mid 20's both married to JW young men. All we can do is hope that our JW children- adult or minors - will see the abuse and injustices that ALWAYS occur in the JW organization and a light will turn on in their heads propelling them to seek freedom of mind in their life. While there is life- there is hope, you know ? Plesae feel free to call me any time my friend, my offer still stands . Would love to chat and start a friendship . Hope you still have my contact info, if not PM me and I'll give you my phone number again, O.K. ? Hope things are going well with you now . Take care

  • Ucantnome

    i think it's like those 3d pictures i used to see all the time a few years ago. don't think my wife ever saw the 3d image.

    it never worried me.

  • Balaamsass

    We have made efforts to connect with friends and family members that were shunned by family in the past and have made ourselves available to family even after becomming "inactive". I have made efforts to connect with EX jw friends. Some current JWs have "marked us" - funny these are mostly the pompous self righteous types who never really bought into Watchtower chronology and served where the "greed was greater"in California. The Bethelites, and missonaries treat us just fine. lol!

    As far as my attitude about WBTS...and the "Popes of Brooklyn", if people want to believe in "Santa" and the "Moon is made of cheese"...that is their right.

  • tootired2care

    Life got real busy the last couple of weeks sorry I havn't been able to respond, but there are many interesting responses here (thanks for those), it's unbelievable the amount of pain that this corporations policies cause families.

  • tootired2care

    I have an update! I decided to bite the bullet and just call my dad. I'm glad I did it, because I feel like I really needed to have this conversation to have some closure, and to be able to move on with my life. I expected a combatative phone call with him hanging up on me, but it actually turned out quite different...

    After some small talk, he proceeds to inform me how he plans to spend his retirement (which starts in 2014) pioneering , which was an open for me to talk about where I stand with the cult. So after talking about some personal stuff, I got into the meat of what I wanted to say.

    I framed my argument around the WT's endtimes claims. I asked him if extraordinary claims should have solid evidence to back them up. to which he responded yes. I then proceeded to go into how the WT's endtimes claims have zero evidence, and have changed many times, and have proven to be false; and that we all have made many poor decisions over the years based on this false premise. I said contantly living your life with a view to an apocolypse is no healthy way to live at all. I asked him, do you think men that are self admitted to being uninspired should be held accountable for misleading people, and all the problems this has caused?

    His response was predictable...He said the organization never printed this and that it is run by imperfect men, and it's important to maintain a sense a urgency above all! I rebutted, that there are many quotes in print that I would share with him; additionaly, that there are so many that don't have any retirement savings as direct results of these misleading claims (he is one of them). His response was that there is no retirement in this system of things. Unbelievable!

    I asked him what gives uninspired men the authority to tell us that we can't go to college or grow a beard. He said you certainly can grow a beard and go to college! At this point I started to wonder if my father was in a different religion than the one he raised me in or he was going senile. The delusion runs very deep. After discussing a few more points with him, I told him that I was done with the WT, and that I was giving him my reasons for leaving as a courtesy. He responded that I should not not send in a letter of disassociation, which I thought was interesting.

    Throughout the conversation the tone was calm, like he already expected it. The conversation ended well, but there was a real sense of detachment there. So at this point we will probably drift apart even more, but at least I'm the one who man'd up and called him after a year of no contact. JW parents are cowards and are the worst parents. Strangly, I feel okay with this, as sad as it sounds. I feel that now I can be unapologetic my stand, and not have to hide and avoid JW bullshit in conversations at future family functions.

  • Xanthippe

    Sounds good to me. If you can attend family functions and not have to spout JW bullshit then - result.

  • DesirousOfChange

    He responded that I should not not send in a letter of disassociation, which I thought was interesting.

    That is a very encouraging comment, in my opinion.

    That sounds to me like he does not want to find himself in the position where he is supposed to shun you.

    He's OK with you fading whereby he is "allowed" to maintain contact with you.

    Don't be too quick to cut him off. For a person his age, there may probably be more advantages than disadvantages to remaining in the bOrg.


  • Kensei01

    I emotionally flatlined for the last year I went to meetings so I didn't have much contact with the folks in my old hall. I do find it interesting when I hear from my dad that 'everyone ' misses me; or hear the same from Mrs Kensei; who still goes occasionally. Never a phone call, never a card, or anything. Not that I care, just one more example of their conditional hypocritical so called friendship. Mrs Kensei and I were at the grocery store the other eve and saw a young couple we knew for decades, the hubby was one of my best friends, they looked right through us, total zombies. I laughed and even Mrs Kensei noticed and commented later at home. I told her "let the pre emptive shunning begin. I feel now after about three years of fading that it's time to get on with my life and my relationship with those people is just a small punctuation mark in the 'encyclopdeia galactica ' that is my life.


  • redvip2000

    I think i'm one of the lucky ones. I have not experienced any real shunning. My JW family is now limited to my Mother, one Sister, and my little niece. My nephew is out with my help and my mother is a lost case, she will never wake up, but at this point i actually think it's better that she lives the rest of her days believing she was part of something special.

    My sister on the other hand is still capable of leaving and i'm hoping that slowly i'll help her wake up. I'm going to stay with them for thanksgiving and hopefully i'll be able to plant a few more seeds in a subtle way.

    Any friends i had still talk to me in a very civilized way, although i'm not invited to any gatherings or anybody's home as expected.

  • Justitia Themis
    Justitia Themis

    No, I don't miss them at all.

    I was born in and forced to associate with them. If allowed freedom of association, I never would have been 'friends' with them. It's a relief not to have to pretend that I like them, respect them, or want to be around them.

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