Have you grown detached from caring about JW family and old friends? (page 5)

peggy

My sister went into the hospital last night with chest pains. My still active daughter told me that she needs a new heart valve and bypass surgery. I asked if I could come to visit her and was told she is not comfortable with that. Surprisingly I am doing ok. I love my sister but you learn to let go. I would be there in a heart beat if she would let me. I hold her close always. Peg

Julia Orwell

Thankfully I don't have any JW family, but as for friends, yes, I've drawn myself away from them. I love them yes, and if they leave the cult I will be there for them, or if some personal tragedy happens and they want me around, but for now it's just easier to become detached. Because I was once one of them, any time spent with them will be underpinned by the JW discourse. Even the JW friends I still talk to, still use the JW terms with me like 'the truth' even though I made it clear I'm gone. They talk about assemblies to me and that, but I don't bite. If I were a worldling, they wouldn't use those terms and ideas with me, but because I was one and am not da/df, interactions with my old JW life are tainted. That's why I prefer to detach, apart from my one JW friend of the 'conscious class' who will join my apostate rantings!!!

Etude

peggy: I would understand if your sister was also one to shun you, if you chose not to go. But, if you really want to go, I don't know why you would need permission from anybody. I would just show up whether that made them uncomfortable or not. I would feel that at least I did the right thing. I really don't know what I would do if my older sister passed away, mostly because she never calls me. Still, I feel a familial duty I need to perform and attend the funeral. However, if they tell me I can attend the services at the KH and not the reuninon at the house they can kiss my absent ass for the rest of their lives.

LouBelle

I spend time with people / family / friends because they want to spend time with me, I reach out, love and care for those same people. My Jw family has actively shunned me for 8 years. The sting definitely has gone - TOTALLY - I pity them, that they are bound to man, I understand the way and accepted it a long time ago. I knew what I was getting myself in too. I don't want conditional love from anyone.

Former "friends" and my family now are strangers, there is no emotion there whatsoever.

LouBelle

I spend time with people / family / friends because they want to spend time with me, I reach out, love and care for those same people. My Jw family has actively shunned me for 8 years. The sting definitely has gone - TOTALLY - I pity them, that they are bound to man, I understand the way and accepted it a long time ago. I knew what I was getting myself in too. I don't want conditional love from anyone.

Former "friends" and my family now are strangers, there is no emotion there whatsoever.

LouBelle

I spend time with people / family / friends because they want to spend time with me, I reach out, love and care for those same people. My Jw family has actively shunned me for 8 years. The sting definitely has gone - TOTALLY - I pity them, that they are bound to man, I understand the way and accepted it a long time ago. I knew what I was getting myself in too. I don't want conditional love from anyone.

Former "friends" and my family now are strangers, there is no emotion there whatsoever.

peggy

ETUDE~~~sadly my sister does shun me. My still active daughter does not. I may still stop at the hospital. Just don't want to cause my sister too much stress with the condition she is in. It's a tough situation. Peg

clarity

Peggy ...glad you came on, is this your only sister?

>

Tough call, if that was my sister ..I would have to think twice too,

about getting her really upset!

Maybe just stay close & in touch with family,

be prepared to run up there.

best wishes

clarity

peggy

CLARITY~~~I have another sister, my twin sister who also shuns me. We are 55 and my sister with the heart condition is 56. We were raised in the Org. I left it mentally 10 years ago, officially faded 5 years ago. Best thing I ever did. Peg

BluePill2

On one side reading all your stories is sad on the other hand side it shows that we are all confronting the same s*** and that we have ate least found a family here. It gives strength to see that we are not alone with this particular, strange situation.

Some nights I wake up, sweating, heart pounding and think my daughter is in the room. My heart becomes heavy and at the next day I am mostly unable to work. It is a feeling more terrible than losing someone in death, as that can (maybe) be resolved mentally and there is a conclusion, a "good bye", but not in this situation. You hope, you know they are still "out there" but it feels if I had lost all my family at once to some kind of natural disaster or car accident.

May we keep on, the more people leave and show JW HQ that they can't blackmail us the better.

Have you grown detached from caring about JW family and old friends?

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