HELP. ELDERS COMING TO TALK WITH THE FAMILY

by Thoughtless 48 Replies latest jw experiences

  • braincleaned
    braincleaned

    Just agree with everything they say and act affected. They love humility. They'll leave and you then start to drift.
    I say this thru experience.

  • Flg8ter
    Flg8ter

    Here's what I would do....I was in this same spot last year. The C.O. was in town and they were calling around and stopping in on "inactive"ones. What I did was turn it into small talk. I didn't ask what the purpose of the visit was.......when thay asked how we were.....what's going on...ect...I gave very short answers. Example...."how are you?"...."very good!" The quiet for a good minute....."we havn't being seeing you around"......"ya i know, we've been busy." Quiet for another minute. It was perfect! lol Then it just turned to small talk. It ended with them saying..."well we'd like to see you more.".....then quiet. Then they said..."well if there's anything we can do to help to get you going again..." I said," I won't hesitate to call you!" That was it. DON'T GIVE THEM ANYTHING! They think in their minds that they are entitled to answers! They are not!! Don't give them the power! They don't have it on their own!

  • Sayswho
    Sayswho

    • How about asking them what this is about? So u can prepare. If they wont, then tell them you will not be able to attend until they do.
    • If it just a Shepard call then have them set it up with you alone, since u are an adult.
    • If it is just a sheparding call you can opt out by saying u are doing well and will let them know when u feel the need for encouragement.

    If it is something-else have them state what it is beforehand, and if it directed at u then the meeting will be with u alone.

    Be kind yet firm....be humble yet assure them this is your decision and not anyone else's.

    They know why they want to talk to u so you should know why beforehand.

    Quote this: 1 Cor. 14:33, 40: “God is a God, not of disorder, but of peace. . . . Let all things take place decently and by arrangement.”

    Tell them this is how you conduct yourself, and u choose to know what their theme for this meeting is. Is it encouragement, fact finding or? Let them tell u what it is then respond with kindness yet be resolved...if it's for encouragement and u dont want it , tell them you will reach out if needed.

    If its sonething else...then you will need time to prepare for it.

    SW

  • Sammy Jenkis
    Sammy Jenkis

    Suggestions?

    Yeah, be busy on Sunday night- the elders called me too a few days ago and I told them flat out I was unavailable to waste my time with them. You have nothing to respond to so why are you going to put yourself through some crappy meeting in your own home?

    Be strong and tell them you'll be busy at the arcade or go-karting.

  • wandasoo
    wandasoo

    I remember the feeling. Always afraid of men in a position. Remember they are just men and put there pants on every day the same as you. Probably have a few skid marks in there lily white underwear. Tell them to piss off.

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Take control of your life...

    What advice would you have for a now non believing catholic friend who said the priests want a chat with him And his family?

    You get one life, dont live it for other people.... You will regret it!

  • jam
    jam

    Remember the Wizard of Oz (the man behind the curtain) and

    if that don't work try visualizing them in clown suits, with a

    big smile painted on their faces. Just keep in mind these people

    are a joke and not to be taken seriously.

  • hoser
    hoser

    never get defensive or confrontational. they will jump all over you

    I had a situation like this recently

    The group overseer wanted to stop by for a sheperding call at a certain time. I said it was not convienent because I would be busy that evening and I was busy at work for the next couple of weeks. (true) I said they could come between these certain dates and times and it would work out for the mrs and I and I would look forward to their visit. They never showed and its been close to a year.

    don't allow them to control the time or venue of the visit.

  • Thoughtless
    Thoughtless

    DETAILS: I am over 18, but noone knows about my disillusionment. I am a very hermited person. I live with my mom for now, but that's about it. Perhaps it is encouragement. But, I hope that I don't get screwed over or something like that.

  • Thoughtless
    Thoughtless

    I appreciate all of your counsel. What I am going to do, is seriously study the July WT this month (I am an "active" witness, but I don't even "eat" the food that the Org gives. I know its rubbish, so I don't even study it very much. The whole Christendom being pure is just fallacious, amongst other things, and I am not even scratching the surface). I am very hermited, but I am also an intellectual, so I expect to be targeted, unfortunately.

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