Excuse needed to get out of talk

noonehome

I work with the school overseer so he'll be with me all day before the meeting...so being 'sick' isn't an option. This really isn't like me to weasel my way out of something....but I've been ridiculously depressed lately and honestly I just don't have it in me to do anything let alone put a talk together. Everytime I do one it takes allot out of me and let's just say the well is pretty dry. I feel guilty as hell and I'm dreading having to break the news to him...you don't understand this guy - it won't be easy.

I hate letting people down and turning down opportunities to better myself (by "better myself" I'm talking about public speaking...it's hard for me but I have the potential to be quite good at it the more I do it.) Any suggestions? I make good talks I guess, but I'm in pretty rough shape. I can barely keep myself together let alone having to stress about this. Not all that stimulating a topic, but thanks guys I appreciate it.

Calebs Airplane

Tell them your dog ate your part and show them proof...

problemaddict

Hey man, I am sure there is a young upstart in the hall who always wants to give a talk etc... Just ask him to do it ahead of time, and tell you have something that is going to keep you from the meeting that night but made some arrangements for him already if he wants to take advantage of them.

If he asks you what it is....just say its some personal stuff but you are fine.

That is what I would do. I used to give talks every other week either as an MS or publisher.....but at a certain point I just couldn't represent them anymore. Even if what I was saying wasn't specifically a bother to me, it felt inauthentic and i didn't like the fact that the GB and the org was what was being propped up by me giving my parts. So I just told them to take me off. When they said why. I said because my conscience won't let me teach certain things and this is just easier. Lol.

Comatose

I used my stress and depression as an excuse for talks. I just said I'm sorry but I can't emotionally handle it right now. But.... Depending on how much you all talk at work maybe you feel that's not an option.

One thing I learned in your shoes before fading was to get it over with quickly. You don't need the anguish eating at you for days as you struggle with the excuse. Make the call or text today. Get it over with. Also, I have a few general tips to add for excuses.

1. A great excuse is very simple. If you explain to much or offer too many details it can seem contrived or open you up for the other person trying to "help" you or trying to pick holes in it.

Example of a good excuse: YOU- I will not be able to give my talk this week. I wanted to give you as much notice as I can, so I'm telling you now. HIM- well what's wrong brother? YOU- I am under too much stress right now, I can't emotionally handle it right now. I'm dealing with some personal issues and will be fine in the future, but right now I can't handle it.

2. Avoid the temptation to offer lengthy excuses. The shorter and more tactful but direct the better.

3. Remember that only YOU know how you are doing mentally. Being physically sick can work sometimes but stress is something that can't be argued.

4. Text message or email is best. Send the text at home at night or during day when not with the other person. This encourages them to respond over text which is easier on you, in addition it gives him time to accept you are not doing it before you see him in person.

bigmac

just say you have a bone in your foot---it will take a while for the penny to drop.

snare&racket

I remember going through the same phase, stopped doing talks. I just spoke to them and said I didn't want to do talks at the moment, thank you. Prepare for the attempt to convince you that carrying on doing them (not making their job harder) is the best way for you to feel better, but be ready with a deep and relevant answer such as "I value the privelage and responsibility of teaching other people highly and I therefore can't do it, feeling this way, I will contact you when I feel otherwise."

Unless you are ready for a sharp exit, don't elaborate, you really din't have to tell these people anything. As much as you think they love you like family, watch how quickly they kick you to the curb when you dont follow the great north korean leader, erm i mean, the FDS....

psnare x

Comatose

When I was fading I used to say I couldn't give the talk due to stress and not being able to handle it, then be at the meeting. I think this helped as they worried less about me, I was just the guy going through the stress of these last days and not handling it as well as others, but I wasn't in danger since I was at the meeting.

But then I got so sick if it all I just quit. Turbo faded. :)

blondie

Why can't you be hit with a sudden bug? That clears up with some OTC medication and an early night? I found a bout of severe diarrhea worked. Can't be pooping on stage or making a dash to the restroom. Could even be attributed to nerves. You don't have to be in the school, you can ask to be taken out.

My husband was the school overseer and he had people just not show up, no call. One time an elder's wife showed up and said she never had any intention of giving the talk. He had to find a substitute quick, me. He found out that her husband had signed her up for the school knowing she did not want to be in the school, but said nothing to my husband. There were 3 elder's wives that refused to be in the school. Nothing happened to them or their husbands.

Iamallcool

You could say something like this "You know that you assigned me to give the talk, I just do not feel like to give the talk anytime soon, I will let you know when I am ready to give the talk again. I just do not want to explain why right now. Thank you for your understanding". Maybe you can email him about this instead of talking to him in person.

Incognito

Excuses after not showing-up at the meeting:

Family Emergency

Sudden Migraine

Nosebleed

Ate something that didn't agree with you

Long phone call and time got away

Household emergency (ie: broken water pipe)

You were exhausted and fell asleep when you sat down for 5 minutes after dinner

You had forgotten you were assigned a talk.

or how about the truth?: I didn't feel up to giving the talk/attending the meeting. You could let him know in advance to have someone else give the talk. Whether he likes it or not should not be your concern.

You would benefit from changing your thought process. Best not to use the words 'weasel out' or other derogitory terms about yourself.

Although you are likely responsible, conscientious and reliable, sometimes you need to place your needs first. The fact is, your body is telling you not to do something, pay attention! This is not a weakness but maybe for your own good.

Even though you may have committed to doing something for someone else, what good are you to anyone if you don't take-care of your own needs and become worn-out and incompacitated as a result.

You are an adult and can make your own decisions whether anyone else likes it or not. No excuses are really required.

Excuse needed to get out of talk

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