Welcome Viva la Vida, Venting on JWN is a good idea, because in time you may become more frustrated with WTBTS's doctrines, as well as JWs who you love and blindly follow it.
Since the WTBTS's Big A will not be coming, I hope that you are able to get a better education/training and do lots of independent research about the WTBTS to help you through the emotional roller coaster that many exJWs go through. Thinking critically for yourself more and making your plan to improve your life should be your most important goals.
Have you visited the following websites: www.jwfacts.com, www.watchtowerdocuments.com, www.jwsurvey.org, www.freedomofmind.com, and www.freeminds2.org? Have you read Raymond Franz's books (i.e., "Crisis of Conscience" and "In Search of Christian Freedom"), Don Cameron's book "Captives of a Concept", and Steve Hassna's books ("Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs")? Raymond Franz and Don Cameron write about the WTBTS, and Steve Hassan writes about how high-control groups victimize members with BITE control techniques and how it effects members. Steve Hassan's books may help you emotional and psychologically the most to deal with staying in the WTBTS.
Best wishes for you critically thinking for yourself instead of blindly follow the WTBTS.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,