Well first I want to thank everyone here for the good points etc... i have received over the last few months. You guys have really been helpful!
So the other day my mother wrote me a 3 page letter telling me how she was so scared for me because she could tell my love for the truth was gone etc.. so i decided I wanted to totally rip the band-aid off and get this matter over and done with. I love my parents - I could give two craps about anyone else in the "borg" - so this was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. My parents are in there 60's and 70's - father an elder for years... mother a reg pio for 30+ years. 3 generations deep. This was one hell of a thing to do for me.
As we sat in the living room with this weird awkwardness my mother simply says, "Do you still think that Jehovah is using this organization as his only people????" She literally had this look of deep sadness in her eyes.... I almost wanted to lie! I looked at my dad and he was just staring at the floor. I thought to myself that I could lie and say yes and that I just had some things to work out... but all that would do is drag this process out longer and in turn there would be more hiding. I AM DONE HIDING! I AM DONE BEING SOMETHING I AM NOT. I simply said, "No, I no longer believe it and I have not for a long time." There was awkward silence for about 30 seconds.
I then said I can't follow people who lie to me - I refuse. My father said, "They have never lied to us ever. DON'T SAY THAT" We went into the 1975 thing. THey both lived through it and regurgitated the statement that the friends ran ahead. I was prepared with my "BINDER OF TRUTH" that shows that they indeed make statments that led the friends in that direction. It didn't matter. The brainwashing was so thick that it was almost painful to discuss anything. The circular reasoning was frustrating - but their ridiculous cultish responses made me ever more sure that this is truly a dangerous religion to belong to.
I showed her a statement from a 1984 magazine, she said, "Do you have any idea how old that is??? 1984???" We have had so much nerw light since then". I asked her if that bothers her... afterall the bible is 2 thousand years old and there is no new light. SHe got mad and then left. My dad was far more upset - but he "accepts" my decision although he doesn't respect it. His words not mine...
However there was one point that hit both of them like a ton of bricks, the same point that hurts me. I said, "If the bible says one thing and the society says the complete opposite would you trust the bible or the society. They both said obviously the bible. sooooo I said, The bible says that Jesus is the mediator for all - yet the society says something else. My mother said I was telling a bold -facedlie and if I was going to lie we can't talk. So I told her if I show you this in print what would you do? She responds, "There is no way that my brothers would say such a thing".
I showed her - she left the house - never came back in.
Me and my dad talked for a bit, he was mad but then said, "Lets not let this mess up our relationship..." That was the best thing I could have heard. He went on to say that he wasn't going to tell anyone about this as long as I don't go around misleading anyone. We laughed and then made arrangements for fishing on Saturday.
My mother sat in the car reading the article in the hot Florida heat with the windows up refusing to talk to either of us...
What comes of this who knows. One thing I will say is that a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can move forward easily now.
I truly want to thank all of you for your assistance these last few months - for all the insight, encouragement and fun.
- sosoconfused