Julia gets hit with the Shun Gun for the first time...and it really hurts.

by Julia Orwell 64 Replies latest jw friends

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  Julia Orwell

  My JW friend of 20 years, the first one I ever met, the one who got me into JWism in the first place, unfriended me from Facebook without explanation. Other JWs who have unfriended me at least called me names (apostate) and told me they were unfriending me, but they were no loss. But someone who's been your friend since you were 13...and no explanation...I'd think 20 years- 20 years! The only people I've known longer than her are my family.

  I knew I faced losing long time friends, but knowing it's going to happen sure doesn't hurt as much as when it happens.

  I really feel for you with JW family right now.

  I'm hurting.

  Thanks for listening.
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  ReallyTrulyAthena

  I'm listening, and my heart goes out to you.

  I'm so sorry to hear that this happened and you are hurting ((Julia Orwell))

  You're spot on with your assessment. Just because you know something logically in advance doesn't mean it stings any less when something like that occurs.

  To experience shunning of this level for the first time is like a kick in the chest - it'll knock the breath right out of you.

  Sending positive thoughts and ((cyber-hugs)).
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  Julia Orwell

  :) Thanks :)
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  zeb

  big Aussie hug too!

  please consider first if you are tempted to write to exfriend. You know what the answer will be and that is only playing in to the wt power game.

  make it 2 Aussie hugs.
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  Witness My Fury

  Send her a real letter, handwritten and lay it out for her. If nothing after that then give her the mental 'finger' and move on.
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  Julia Orwell

  Zeb, you're an Aussie? Wow cool, so am I!!!

  I'll wait and see what happens. I sent her a brief message on FB asking, "Why did you unfriend me?" Pretty innocuous. Puts the ball in her court without playing into the WT power game.
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  new hope and happiness

  Wow i try to rationalize shunning. Those that shun do so because its in there nature to shun. I have friends who are completley incapable of such behaviour.

  I remember smiling at a disfellowshipped person who came to the meeting. The elders spoke with me. " we are dealing with it"

  That event was an eye opner. I couldnt understand the problem. The guy was newly baptised when he got disfellowshipped for smoking. Hardly a reason for shunning.

  This woman was never really Julia Orwells friend but Sister Julia Orwells friend.
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  Julia Orwell

  True. She was the one who got me into 'the truth' and maybe she's peeved that I left what she got me into.
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  cantleave

  No matter how much you try to rationalise it will hurt, shunning is bullying and bullying is designed to inflict pain.
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  new hope and happiness

  cantleave true, but the shunner is the one thats really hurting themselfs. Oh i know that sounds a little weak, but with time the shunned grow stonger and the shunners even if they never realize it are the victims.

  Having said that i understand the pain of being shunned. And i deal with that pain with the above thoughts. It helped.