by Julia Orwell 64 Replies latest jw friends
The Society is losing membership........to reason and the internet. Born-ins are pulling out as well. Field service is no longer effective. So they have ramped up the shunning to keep what they have.
Your friend didn't deserve your friendship. Your purpose was to give her a mirror so she could confirm that she was living the right life. Witnesses can't exist in a vaccum they must fit in....... each one reflecting back the proper image at all times.
It's rejection based on fear. I've read the history of tuberculosis before the advent of antibiotics. Fear of this virulent disease was so rampant that families rejected their own children, leaving them at the steps of a sanatorium to recover or die, sometimes even returning letters unopened in fear of the disease.
Sanatorium residents came to depend on each other and often a thriving culture developed.
With the advent of antibiotics, the sanatoriums abruptly closed.
Perhaps one day the reign of fear will dissipate, and these man-made separations will be no more. I can dream. In the meantime, we can take care of each other.
We haven't been shunned in overt ways...yet. But getting the side eye and hearing the gossiping/rumors inflicts a very painful sting.
Hang in there.
Julia: "... but knowing it's going to happen sure doesn't hurt as much as when it happens. "
Much like having a baby. The baby in this case is you, freeing yourself from the mother ship. It never tickles.
Stupid cult.
Don't ever lose sight of the fact that you are normal and they are the brainwashed cultists.
Walk tall.
My New JW Friends seem Wonderful..
I think I`ll become a..
JW!!..
.......................... 
...OUTLAW
Julia, sorry to hear you're hurting. But for now, your friend is trapped in a cult. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the "friends" in the congregation had made it an issue and she was forced to unfriend you or face certain consequences. And for us exJWs, we can go out "in the world" and pick new friends to our liking. But for a JW, is a pretty shallow WT pool to go looking around for any good friends. So her decision to unfriend you is her loss, big time.
So sorry we always hope those we care about will be different and yet they so often disappoint.
My "best friend" did that exact same thing to me. Others told me they were unfriending me. She just one day was gone.
Hi Julia from New Zealand. It's great to see so many responses empathically attuned to your situation. I cannot add anything to their comments - except to say, "Well expressed, people!"
On the prospect of any communication with this woman who wordlessly unfriended you, I would not dignify her loveless act with any communication whatsoever. If she can do that to you after 20 years, I'd say there is probably no way you could reach her; your well meant words would be trashed. She may even have the satisfaction of "seeing" your hurt in the words you would write and conclude you deserve to feel that way. She would not be the first witness to luxuriate in acts of judgemental unkindness. Don't give this woman the satisfaction - ever!
I like what an ealier poster said: She likely was never a "true" friend at all. To cut you lose so swiftly reflects ugly organization-mindedness.
Your hurt reflects your genuine thoughts that it had been a genuine friendship - to realize it wasn't cannot help but hurt.
You'll move on from this in time - but move on from it, you will. Here's a splendid opportunity to nurture the friends you still have and to develop true friendships not based on goose-stepping organizational belief systems. Best
