I'm just a fader, but with my wife telling a few of her friends about my new understandings and the elders also telling thier wifes about what they have discussed with me, I too have been getting wierd looks and part shunning (i also grew a gotee) Any way at every shance i get i mention how loving Jesus was and how he even said to love your enemy. Use the truth of the bible and throw it back at them.
Julia gets hit with the Shun Gun for the first time...and it really hurts.
by Julia Orwell 64 Replies latest jw friends
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Lozhasleft
Sorry to hear you're hurting Julia. Yes, it's very painful.
Loz x
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Julia Orwell
Thanks everyone, I really do feel better for talking to you and reading your empathic responses. I actually messaged her and asked her why, and to her credit she replied with the reason: she saw me 'looking for fault in Jehovah's organisation' and it upset her. She said she loves Jehovah and she sincerely hopes I return to Jehovah thru his org because to reject it is to reject Him. She said she hopes I'm not offended and she loves me.
So I got a reason, but only after I asked for it. I'm not going to reply because what would I say? That obviously 20,years of friendship so meant little to her that she wouldn't even try to find out why I felt that way about the org or see if she could encourage me? No, none of that would be productive. Nor would ttatt: she's already on the defense, and she's happy being a Jw well I'm happy for her and wouldn't seek to change that. Best to cut my loses to this cult.
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Lozhasleft
Yes, you should cut your losses, but why not say something to leave in her thoughts? Like, ''isn't it necessary for all of us who love Jah to be absolutely certain we are in his organisation? If not, aren't we told to 'get out of her?"
Loz x
Just a thought...
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tec
I am truly sorry for your hurt also, Julia, and that those who are meant to be your friends and loved ones can do that to you.
because what would I say? That obviously 20,years of friendship so meant little to her that she wouldn't even try to find out why I felt that way about the org or see if she could encourage me?
Yes.
I mean, if you wanted to say something, go for honesty. So that SHE has to think about what she has chosen to do, and who she has chosen to follow, and maybe that will help her think and consider that she has chosen something that does not teach and show love; rather than leaving her to get off scott-free, in shunning you, and in shunning, period. (And maybe not in those words above exactly, but words that may reflect your hurt, as well as your love for her.)
Cutting losses is sometimes something that we may be forced to do... at the same time though, maybe twenty years of friendship means that you say something to her, that maybe will stay with her and make her a bit uncomfortable about something she SHOULD be uncomfortable about... out of love for her. You can of course reassure her that you are there for her, whether she remains in or out.
I don't mean to butt in or anything. But when you asked that question above, all I could hear was 'yes'. Yes, you should say something just like that.
Peace and love to you,
tammy
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HarryMac
Sorry for your pain Julia. She's did that because some people (elders/gb/etc... ) told her to.
You're free!
She's not.
Keep it in mind...it's awesome.
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FingersCrossed
I feel for you Julia.((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Never been shunned by someone due to religious matter. But my best friend of 18 years shunned me because I gave her an honest advice/opinion that she does like to hear about a guy she knew in the internet for a few months. So called friendship huh?
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Julia Orwell
Yes, some people are just like that. I had a friend cut me off after 10 years because I asked a someone in another state about the friend's estranged father. All jws mind you, all in good stranding. I think no matter who people are, some are just jerks.
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whathappened
Sorry, Julia, but those people only are your fake friends. I havent heard a peep from any of my jw friends who have known me for over 50 years, since childhood. They act like I never existed.
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Julia Orwell
Yep, I think that's gonna happen to me. I can cut my losses, but I have one friend dearer to me than any other, a friend of 14 years, since I was an unbaptised publisher, over whom I really will shed tears if he shuns me...he hadn't shunned any of his other friends that I know of who've gone inactive though because he is a true Christian, although a Jw dupe. Time will tell. I don't see him much anyway.