I'm New... and I'm running...

by running_away 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • running_away

    It's some kind of funny... I was the perfect little ass, even that I never believe it all.

    There was something that doesn't sound right... but, I was little, I was with my Family, I never believe that my Family will make me adopt a cult. Nobody does, right?

    Well I get batized in my mid teen years, I was the exemplar, MS at 19, even serve my time at Bethel. Get married to a Pioneer, start a spiritual family, get my 2 kids. All normal.

    Almost normal: I love to read, and I spoted several contradictions (blood, oral sex, preaching). But everything to the backburn, in the back of my brain. But one day...

    I wasn driving my 4 years old to the school one day, and talking about the birthdays and he hit me with the most rational perfect question that anybody can do at any parent: "will Jehovah kill all my friends? they do celebrate the birthdays!"

    I didn't answer. Why should a loving God kill other 26 pretty kids? because they ate birthday cake? because they share gifts? just for that? So, David was safe, but the other 4 years old deserve death.

    Anyone who is a father knows that we can't let a fly come close to our kids because safety... what about killing our own kids? Why? will jehovah will my son's classmates?

    I never believe that my father deserve death, he is far better person than several JW... even better than me.

    But what open my mind was the simple question that my son made... it hit... And it hurts.

    I know that my best friend was not very well. We are not in the same country, he was an elder and we talked about the religion and JW believes. But all normal.

    I asked him. In a Morpheus moment (The Matrix movie) he said: "you have to find it for yourself". Not very helpful, but I understand: In this cult world everybody can be "an agent".

    And I read... and read... and hit hard the 1914 thing... and before touch the first apostate reading I was sure that there was something smelly in the room. Maybe this was not the only truth religion... or maybe it was my other kid diapers...

    So, in a few weeks I open my Eyes. A long time ago now. But still in, beacuse of my family... And now I will run...

    Oh yes! the first thing is going out this place, take my wife and kids and run away from this place, from this people, the family and everybody and start again!

  • okage

    Welcome to JWN. I'm glad you feel you can run because many psyche themselves out by believing you can't run from the Organization. Just don't run too far or too long, because then you'll always be running. If I can ask, did you read any specific books or articles that can be used by those who frequent this site but have yet to make an appearance? There are many looking for an out and your story can always be a big help to them.

  • elder-schmelder

    Welcome, God killing my kids was also one of my eye openers. Why does "Jehovah" like killing kids? How many did he kill in the "Flood"?


  • nugget

    Welcome to the board. It is difficult when we have family still in. How does your wife feel about your viewpoint? I wish you well in your decision it is tough in the beginning but it does get better.

  • cofty

    Welcome - congratulations on waking up while your family are still young. Great to have you here.

  • Ding


    Be sure to read Ray Franz's book Crisis of Conscience for a lot more eye openers.

  • happytobefree

    Don't you just love kids

    My brain opening started with my son asking, "What if the JW religion is WRONG"? at the wonderful age of 10. And because my husband was not JW, he said he wanted to study other religions to just see. But the reality was that he wanted to be normal, play sports, eat birthday cake, listen to rap music, etc.

    He's now 26 years old and I smile just thinking about his rebellious spirit...it makes a mother proud. He does not have an ounce of JW programming.

    I wish you well on you journey and much happiness for your family in your new conquest.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Welcome RUNNING!

  • Dazeds Better Half
    Dazeds Better Half

    M son is 4, my daughter just turned 1. I couldn't imagine raising them the same way I was. I went to my last meeting in the beginning of April, stopped service in December. Its amazing freedom to have finally ripped off the bandaid. Good luck! Get the kid out, I doubt you'll regret. It took a few weeks, but he doesn't ask about meetings or the other children that are there.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    Welcome and good luck Running Away. Hopefully, you can outrun the hounders (elders) without too much hassle.

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