I'm New... and I'm running...

by running_away 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • AnnOMaly


    But what open my mind was the simple question that my son made... it hit... And it hurts.

    LOL! It hit me like a brick too, when my bright, little son was asking simple yet thoughtful questions about why he couldn't go to his school friends' birthday parties and I gave the stock JW answers, which he couldn't understand, so I continued to explain, but hearing myself I suddenly thought, "This line of reasoning is so weak. It doesn't make sense. No wonder he doesn't buy it."

  • LouBelle

    Hey running_away - wow - such a simple question from your child. I am so glad that question really made you wake. I truly hope you can get your whole family out.

    Welcome to the board - wonderful having you here.

  • Fernando

    "And that's why I'm running... to be free I have to start in other place, without family or friends pressure. So, let's move to another country!"

    It worked for our family.

    (Why do followers of the Watchtower religion call themselves “publishers of the Good News” whilst unfamiliar with the “Good News” according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?)

  • running_away

    Thank you Ann, Lou, Fernando...


    I remember thinking that the bible says than Paul only become a christian AFTER being made blind... what? no one of the other christians that he has prosecute never atempt to preach him? Of course, but only a miracle was the "click" that move him... And now? we will make "clicks" in the people with... a magazine?

    I made that paul question some time ago to my wife... she keeps quiet, but she is soooooooooo sleeping that it's better to let her alone in the meantime we made other changes. I love her so much, I don't want her pass that big deppresion stage. So, in the meantime if she wants to sleep, I will bring her another pillow.

    But, of course, we miss a lot of meetings because of the kids and work, sometimes I go alone, in the weekends I go to the "preaching work" (alone, hehe), to make her do the minimun of the minimum. No regular study, no family study. We have about two years of this.

    I told her in one opportunity and... you have to see it! she cries, she throw me my marriage photos, she scream. That was a really intense week! It was so overeacting that I preffer to tell her that I was to resolve my "doubts", that there is no need to worried, that everything is going to be ok. Still that was a far worse reaction that I was expecting... why?

    In the next week she told me that she was pregnant! Lesson: never fight hormones and a cult at the same time because you will never win!

    That was a couple of years ago. So I let her and we are "still in", at least a little. Yes, I take a lot of coffee in the weekends!

    Now, let's move and then I will try again.

    It's a cult. But you can learn to use their same tools too!

  • jgnat

    It sounds like you are a smart husband, sensitive to what your wife is feeling. This is all good. Learn to spot the rigid, robotic cult personality (you should recognize this when they start talking as if straight from the magazine), and the natural personality (those aspects of your wife's personality that makes her special and unique. This includes her hobbies and interests, passions and so on. The more you reinforce your wife's natural self, the stronger that part of her personality will become. It sounds like you are doing this instinctively already.

    Here is a form you can fill out to get a broader understanding of your wife. You do not need to submit this; do this for yourself. Answering the questions in this survey can give you new insights in to your wife's natural self, and give you ideas on how to bring her out.


  • fresh prince of ohio
    fresh prince of ohio

    Yes, the proclaimers book.

    LOL. I found that book to be over-long and self-congratulatory to where it was like, is this for real? You really expect me to believe that this umpteen hundred page book of gushing self-praise represents the real, unbiased truth? Gahhh!!!!

  • flipper

    RUNNING_AWAY- Nice to have you here ! Welcome to freedom of mind. Take care. Peace out, mr. Flipper

  • BU2B

    Welcome Running Away! I am in much the same position of you, awakened, with sleeping wife.Congratulations on waking up and having your mind freed! I wish you the best on waking up your wife, the fact she isnt regular at meetings is huge, less indoctrination.

    You are right about using their own tactics against them, like not telling her things but asking questions to make her think for herself instead or regurgititing the WT line.

    I think moving away greatly increases your chances. With me if we didnt live in the same city as our parents, I would definitely be out by now and she might be too. After I told her how I felt, she ran to my parents. Without that influence, I think she would think clearer. You are patient and loving to tolerate this cult for the sake of your wife.. Maybe she will fully understand and appreciate what you have done here one day.


  • mamochan13

    You CAN run, and you CAN escape. You are in good company here - welcome.

  • Comatose

    So glad to have you! I wish you tons of luck. Take your time and go slow. The move is your first priority as you stated. Be careful and you can wake her up. I hope we can all help you as you move along. Your kid asking that question, that happened to me too! I didn't know what to say. Because I knew I was supposed to say that any non JW would die, but I didn't believe it! Wow, thanks to our kids.

    Use us as your chance to vent and talk. Welcome!

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