Why elders' wives are such gossipers...

by Calebs Airplane 53 Replies latest watchtower scandals

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  mamochan13

  I knew many elders wives who were horrible gossipers. They knew all the deep, dark secrets and they loved to spread them. I also knew many who were not. My aunt was completely respectful and closed-mouthed because she was a loving, kind person who truly believed in trying to do the right thing. My SIL delights in tearing people down and she glories in knowing secret information others don't and loves to spread it subtly.

  However, JWs as a whole are horrible gossipers. Maybe it's something about a closed society. I'm sure I've read research about that at some point.

  The difference is that elders wives are privy to information that can really hurt. So their gossip is far more damaging.
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  ÁrbolesdeArabia

  gama2tired, I know you story too well and saw this happen by hateful gossping elders who betrayed the trust of the children who come to them and actually think they are capable of giving out sound advice instead of "telephone, tele-friend, tell-a-elder who tells-his-wife who tells-a-everyone!"

  Sorry gama you had to experience that pain, one day they might change or end up in a bad place.

  Mamochan: it feels like they as a whole, do enjoy hearing bad reports and tearing others down with hateful speech! The Governing Body sure has done a poor job creating Christlike people, don't you think?
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  Penelope1

  I was a JW for nearly two decades and i have to disagree with the idea that "most" sisters gossip only if their elder hubbies gossip first. Now I'm not saying that elders don't gossip of course, but in my experience, the sisters were typically the ones setting fire to the great woodland with their unruly, injurious "thing"(s). the worst offenders seemed to be the middle-aged pioneer alpha-females (you know the type) AKA "menopausal mean girls" in my book. They really stirred the turds with their politicallly motivated bad-mouthing and often passed this talent on to their young daughters.
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  HarryMac

  Hi Penelope,

  I'm fairly new myself - well lurked for years - but welcome!
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  LongHairGal

  Calebs Airplane:

  Please understand that nothing uttered in the JW religion will ever remain confidential. The JW religion is not like the Catholic church with a priest in a confessional. It is an out and out falsehood that anything will remain secret. You are lucky it would remain a secret for 24 hours. In any given hall, all it takes is one elder with loose lips. It doesn't matter that all the others have high integrity and keep their mouths closed. It is to no avail. It will become known, even outside the hall.

  In the church, the priest usually confides in other priests and generally speaking a priest is a priest for life. Now, contrast that with the chaotic JW religion. A JW elder may step down or be removed. If he is removed or steps down, what happens to all the confidential things he has been told over time? Everybody is at the mercy of his discretion, and that is assuming he even has any. Unfortunately for everybody, he is not bound by fear of lawsuits (if it would even enter his uneducated mind) for violation of patient or client confidentiality that a doctor or an attorney would have.

  A JW elder may also tell things to his wife and he may also tell things to other elders elsewhere and they may tell their wives. Then all these wives get on the phone and tell all their eldress friends and the alpha-female hateful pioneers. Then all these smug bastards have much to talk about at their secret gatherings and barbecues. Do they feel a twinge of guilt? Hell no. They feel very righteous and like they have a free pass and it won't matter because they are around others who they deem to be in the "inner circle".

  In the JW religion, there is NO confidentiality, and there is no accountability over this lack of confidentiality.

  I hope any lurkers are taking this to heart.
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  PaintedToeNail

  While I was never an elder's wife and never was in the 'know' about things, it does cause me to wonder: If you weren't supposed to be talking about people and what was going on, just what were you supposed to be talking about? There is only so much you can say about the latest Watchtower. People want to know about other people, it is just natural human interest-look at the TV shows that document crimes, i.e. 48 Hours, Dateline and so on.

  We all want to know who the pedophiles are in the cong., you are not going to find that out unless someone tells, I am grateful when I hear that someone told that there is a pedophile in a cong.
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  Quendi

  “By its fruit the tree is known,” Jesus once remarked. What is the fruitage of the elder arrangement among Jehovah’s Witnesses? Malicious gossip, slander, Star Chamber judicial committees, cronyism and nepotism are just some of the bad things we see. But they are enough to condemn it. Nobody should be surprised by this or that the WTS has no intention of abolishing it. This is just another evidence that the organization’s claim of divine support for the elder arrangement is completely false.

  Quendi
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  Penelope1

  Hi Quendi...My old hall was really clique-y because of all the nepotism and cronyism--it was sickening! When i mentioned the JW hierarchy in my previous post, this is what i had in mind. Elders and their wives always seemed to be at the top followed by reg. pioneers. but then their were others who recieved a higher placement simply because they were friends of individuals in one or both of these groups. Those who were known for having relatives and/or several generations of JW's in their family tree recieved a better ranking as well; like the other groups mentioned, they could push the envelope with impunity so long as they did a decent job of keeping up appearances. Married couples faired better too, generally speaking.

  As someone mentioned previously, a certain amount of this is to be expected in any similiar type of religious organization --say, 7th day adventists, LDS (mormons), Lutherans, etc. The real problem is, those on the outside are told that JW congregations are "spiritual paradises" where newly baptized ones will inherit "houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and fields...". And by all APPEARANCES, this seems to be the case. The reality however couldn't be further from the truth, especially for those who do not fit neatly into one of the higher levels of the JW hierarchy. In the nearly two decades that i was an active witness, I never felt so alone, distrustful of the people around me (thanks to the rampant gossip and backstabbing) and unsafe. And mind you, i was never counseled, disfellowshipped nor publically reproved. To the contrary, i was known as a serious student of the bible and good with the public when out in service. It was a living hell, a nightmare-- and not just because of the social issues mentioned in this post, this forum. Needless to say, the best day of my life was when i finally decided to walk away.
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  wasblind

  The real gossipers are the husbands who tell their wives. _____Blondie

  Pillow talk. Wit' the right moves, a sister can get a brother to tweet like a canary
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  Scott77

  "...One of the things I hated the most was sitting around while my husband was in elders meetings for hours and hours on end..."
  life is to short

  That is true. That was my observation. I would often see an elder wives sitting in the kingdom hall wating for their head after regular meetings were over.

  	"...for over 3 decades I had nothing but gossping elder's wives around me constantly. It was really sickening to hear that brother rebel was seen having a beer in a bar or that sister sexy shows too much cleavage or that brother educated thinks he's better then everyone else... I beleieve most of this gossip had a common denominator... jealousy..."
  	Calebs Airplane

  Calebs Airplane, I think, you have nothing to apologize. The gossip problem within the congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses is so huge and serious. Because so and so did not experience it does in no way diminish it. Generalization is a perfect way to portray how serious this social issue is.

  Scott77