Well I went to a "special meeting" in the Armadillo today where a 2 & 1/2 hour programme was relayed from London at 1pm. Apparently the letters of invitation only went out a month or so ago and not all congregations were invited. There were 2,900 of us from around Scotland. And another 2000 or so were due at the same venue to watch a recording of the meeting in the evening. That's just over half the Witnesses in Scotland got an invite, I guess.
As a short aside, JW conventions must be the only such large event you can attend where the toilets are much busier during the event than either before or after. It's almost as if people don't really enjoy the programme, and at least a toilet break disrupts the monotony. That can't be true of Jehovah's spiritual feast, can it?
The meeting was in three parts.
1. A short report on how the branch is doing.
2. A short Watchtower summary.
3. A short talk by David Splane of the governing body.
The report on the branch was really short and bland. They have a new peak in Ireland and in Britain, a total of over 141,000, or something like that. They combined the numbers of the two countries, which made it a bit confusing to compare with previous figures. They are having good success preaching to deaf people and to Chinese students. Something like 1,800 Chinese people attended the memorial in Britain. There was a special "midnight memorial" for Chinese people who work in takeaways so they could attend after their work was finished. And deaf people say JWs are the best signers in the world, much better than professionals. The society produces literature in Welsh, Irish, Gaelic and sign language, even though all those people can understand English, just because it produces a good impression in the language communities.
The Watchtower summary was about how progressing in the truth should be viewed as filling out a checklist. He mentioned that experienced piolets must follow checklists to avoid crashing. I guess the article was influenced by the popular book on checklists written by Atul Gawande a couple of years ago, although they didn't give credit for the idea to that author. It's funny how the Watchtower will provide footnotes for technicalities or the definitions of words, but not for the main ideas that inform particular articles. I guess they would not like to unwittingly direct Witnesses to TED talks on various interesting topics. No good to encourage Witnessses to expose themselves to fresh ideas from other sources. I also thought it was rather telling how readily the Watchtower could compare baptism to simply another item on a checklist. Was it the Ethiopian Eunuch who spontaneously declared, "there is a body of water! What prevents me from being baptised?" rather than, say, "I've gone out on the doors, and given talks on the ministry school, so it's about time I got baptised because it's the next item on the checklist".
Then David Spalne's talk, the "main event". He waffled on about some illustration to do with Saul and David and what sort of armour to wear. Load of crap I won't bore you with, but then he got down to business. His first major point was that no one needs to go to college or university. He knows a brother who got a good job without going to university, therefore that one experience proves that no one needs a college education. Besides, Jehovah blesses those who pioneer, and "serving Jehovah is the best retirement fund". Easy for him to say! Not everyone gets their accommodation, health care, and international travel paid for them like he does. He declared that all we need is "sustainance and covering" and "who of us can say we don't have that?" The implication being you're an ungrateful fool if living on the poverty line as a pioneer doesn't make you happy.
His next major point was about peer pressure and how some young Witnesses are embarrassed to let others know they are Witnesses. Well go figure! Why would that be I wonder? Could it be because being a JW is embarassing! He stated that all young Witnesses should declare that they are Witnesses in school at the earliest opportunity. His next piece of advice, aimed at parents, was that they should not allow their children any leeway in avoiding the meetings. Some parents have the "misguided idea", he said, that their children should be allowed to choose for themselves whether to go to meetings, so that it can come "from the heart". That's all wrong, he said. Parents must force their children to come to the meeting and out on service whether they like it or not. Parents wouldn't allow their children not to eat, or teach them that going out to work is a choice they can accept or reject. It's the same with the meetings. Children must be taken to the meetings whether they like it or not.
Almost as an aside he mentioned the blood issue. He said some people may ask why JWs don't take blood. Tell them "well JWs don't like to get AIDS". And if they ask why we don't smoke, telll them "JWs don't like cancer either", thus crassly comparing blood transfusions to smoking.
He also mentioned that he had been out on the magazine work the day before, and it was "chilly, British weather". So I guess that answers those who ask if the GB go round the doors.
Finally he gave people the sage advice that they can be their own worst enemy. If traumatic things have happened in your past then just don't think about it, that's the best you can do until the new system. And if you are old then don't complain. "In the world people say you are only young once, but in the truth we know that we will only be old once - now, briefly, before Armageddon, because we will be young for eternity in the new system." So enjoy your old age, because you'll never have it again.
And that was it. I heard one sister comment after that it was very short. Indeed, hardly worth gathering thousands of people across the country for, but there you go.
What are zone visits really about? Probably financial audits mainly, I guess. I can't imagine these facile "special meetings" are the main point of the whole exercise. The real focus must be behind the scenes, surely
It strikes me that they are really going hard on the anti-education rhetoric. They are sounding increasingly like extremists who can't help themselves but focus obsessively on marginal issues, like the Tories banging on endlessly about Europe, or Catholic priests banging on endlessly about the evils of homosexuality and birth control. Education seems to be the GB's major theme these days, above and beyond the Bible, Jesus, being kind or whatever. Forget all that, don't go to college that's the most important thing!
On a personal note I spoke to a young sister today that I have not spoken to for about ten years. She seemed incredibly happy to see me (remarkable as this does not happen to me often) and went out of her way to sit next to us, although she was "not following us or anything" and she giggled. I knew her when we were both very young. I guess I must have made an impression on her all those years ago. She has grown into the most beautiful young woman you can imagine. Beautiful red hair and gorgeous figure, and more than that, an incredible smile, and laugh and voice. Oh my God. Anyway, I asked where she is living now, and she tells me this remote place in Scotland, "with my husband, we got married 18 month ago", pointing to an attendant in a yellow jacket at the end of the aisle. Heartbroken? Utterly.
