marrying younger spouses

by ssn587 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Is there any reason why marrying anyone much older/younger is not cool? You are looking at a culture difference, which is usually less than that created by interracial or international marriages. And if a guy marries an older woman, you might not be able to have children (especially if she is near or past 50). Anyone that thinks marriage should be absolutely limited to someone within a few years of age ought to be right at home in the Dark Ages, where marriages were pre-arranged by parents long before the children come of age, and remarriage was all but impossible.

  • prologos
    prologos

    botr said: " a woman over 40 does not trigger me" that being the case, what would be the incentive, justification, rationale to marry into such arrangement ??? lets just say that

    Many people are trigger happy or would like to be TRIGGER HAPPY!

    we know of a couple married decades that just had a new daughter the husband an octogenarian, the wife half his age, the best pictures on the beach show the husband and his teenage son riding the same wave.

    of course there are a lot of sour grapes. incest? no,

    you might be looking at exeptional marriges in the best sense of the word.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz
    One day i will be old(er) and she may have to wipe my arse, maybe she will get ill and it will be the other way, who knows. It simply does not matter.

    When she sees women her age enjoying freedom, it just might matter. My dad's wife resented the hell out of his helplessness. We all wonder if she was really "outside on the patio" when he died in the recliner. It's possible that she was standing right there with him and watched him take his last breaths and did nothing to help him. She was afraid his broken hip injuries were going to eat up all of their money

    Sorry, Flying high, but no.

    My wife is now 33 and I am 50, and far from seeing other women enjoying 'freedom' she sees them getting bogged down and drained by raising babies. She feels absolutly free, free to not only be the person she really is, because i place no bounds on her, but free to spend all day everyday pursuing her goals in art and music etc.

    And so what if i get sick and old? what the hell does AGE have to do with that? What about equal age couples where at the point they should be taking it easy, one gets a serious illness and wastes away, draining the life out of their 50 year old wife? Sucking up the finances when ill?

    And what if when i retire at 65 she develops breast cancer at 48? What then flying high? Then my retirement may well be spent looking after her till she meets an early grave and leaves me alone and broke?

    What has age got to do with that?

    It can happen to anybody, anytime, and equal age couples do NOT have the monopoly on health nor happiness.

    Sometimes the most compatable person you may ever meet just happens to be of a different generation, and I for one, was certainly not going to walk away from that because of a silly notion of ageism.

    Oz

  • Diest
    Diest

    Well the moral to this thread is.....there are several ideas and none of the agree fully. So do what you want.

  • wisdomfrombelow
    wisdomfrombelow

    If they are old enough to get married and do so of their own free will, it's not my concern. People have the right to do things that we choose not to do. Likewise, we have the right to do things others choose not to do.

  • moshe
    moshe

    My suggestion, marry that much younger woman in the Philippines, but only if you can move there- no divorce allowed in the PI. Nursing home care is cheap, too, in case you need it and your young wife doesn't care for changing your diaper.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    I was at a Funeral, some years ago. The new widower Elder, early 60's, the deceased JW wife, late 80's. She had been sick, at home, for 10 years. I had never met her.

    After the KHall " informercial ", Tea was served back at his home.

    The widower's Mom, sisters and step-father, had all driven from a distance, then had baked and cooked through the night, to put on a spread for the Tea, as a show of love, respect and support.

    OK, now if you can follow this:

    The deceased wife had been the oldest of everybody.

    Next down in age, came her mother-in-law.

    Next came her sisters-in-law.

    Then was her step-father-in-law.

    Last was her husband.

    This was fascinating to me.

    I didn't know any of this when I first walked into their home for afternoon Tea.

    I met her mother-in-law, and gave her my sympathy. After a bit, she had told me the different places, congregations, she and her husband lived and had driven in from. I asked which one here, was her husband? She said, which one do you think? She looked like a happy, distinguished, character, so I looked into the livingroom, where a soft spoken, dignified looking, age approperiate, older brother/gentleman with neatly trimmed grey hair and matching dull, nice suit sat, whom I had never seen before. So taking the bait, I said him? She shook her head no. That was her son-in-law. She stopped a small, short, atheletic, energetic, smiling, happy, dark haired, comparably young brother, and said, "Joe, I'd like you to meet someone". "Yes Sweetheart, who?" "Joe, I'd like you to meet LoisLane". "LoisLane, this is my husband Joe".

    Some people would love living in an old English Castle, full of beautiful antiques and sprawling grounds.

    Others want to live in a new cubicle highrise, in the city, without a spot to grow anything.

    To each his own.

    Just Lois

  • Paralipomenon
    Paralipomenon

    While there is a certain amount of people who marry younger than them for sex appeal, I see no problem with people who genuinely enjoy each other.

    If you connect with someone else and end up saying "if only you were closer to my age", you are selling yourself short in favor of the opinion of people who aren't going to bring you any happiness with their criticism.

  • ssn587
    ssn587

    Moshe I did marry her last year, and I do live off an on n the Philippines I own a house and a farm there. We don't even live there, just need to go up there to make sure things are okay. My first wife was a Filipina and she passed away unexpecdtedly well for me anyway. Her sisters live there free of paying any rent, and i take care of any problems that arise with the property, pay the taxes, maintenance bill etc. Use to even pay for the electrical and water bills for them.

    My wife and I also have our own place and I do love the Philippines, its cheaper to live there, the beer is good, what little of it I drink, the weather is great even rainy season. And like you said the medical care is much cheaper than here in the states, however in the states i have virtually 100% free medical and have only used it the last 9/10 years for checkups yearly.

    I take good care of myself eat virtually no meat, lots of vegges and fruits and sea creatures. Yeah life is great, my wife is wonderful, and our little son is a joy to behold. When younger was gone from home a lot due to deployments, work, etc etc., now I can spend good amounts of quality of time with both my wife and my son.

    Thank all of you for you comments appreciate you taking the time to respond. Life is what it is and after a time, I decided to get busy living life instead of comtemplating a long boring road to finally dying. Life is definitely too short for that and I enjoy it too much, especially freedom from the influence of the borg.

  • doofdaddy
    doofdaddy

    Well done and good luck!

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