My Cousin married a 2nd time at 33, to her Boss, who was 63. They had 35 happy and devoted years together. He just died at the age of 99. He was a "King" of a man and made her his "Queen".
Just Lois
marrying younger spouses
by ssn587 63 Replies latest jw friends
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moshe
Since he poached his "daughter," I refuse to see any Woody Allen film. Old men prey on young women. Sometimes they get what is coming to them.
well said- I agree.
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moshe
My maternal g-grandfather was born in Ireland and settled into farming in Illinois around 1845- his first two wives died- 7 kids total. He remarried at the age of 70 to a widow around 35 with 4 children. During the next 10 years he fathered 4 more children. My grandmother was his last, born when he was 80 years old. He lived to be 103 years old. His much younger wife only outlived him by 8 years. This was after the civil war and there was a major shortage of men for marriage. He died in 1905.
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Magwitch
I have to say I am somewhat repulsed by large age gaps. My father-in-law (when widowed) married someone half his age (70-35). She needed the financial security and he was flattered by all the young sisters in the hall fighting over him. His two children were the same age as this woman. His children were horrified to say the least. She fed him 3 fast-food meals a day for 2 years; so while she put on 50 pounds he developed cancer and was gone within the 2 year wedding mark. She was all too happy to inherit quite a nice fortune. He did not know he was supposed to update his will after marriage. He thought that his original will leaving everything to his 2 children would stand. In Colorado law it does not. On a different note....I have 2 daughters in the their 20's - if a 50 year old man showed interest in them - GOD HELP THAT MAN! That is my 2 cents. I see I am in the minority.....
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sspo
More power to you and i hope you will both be happy until death.
Even though after my divorce from my Jw wife i could have done the same by marrying a philippino girl, "almost did"
young, beautiful and fresh, i decided to date american women much closer to my age.
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St George of England
I know a JW brother who married in 1970 a woman (JW) more than 30 years his senior. It was not a problem then, Armageddon was due any day soon, age didn't matter. It never came of course and she recently died aged 95. A neighbour of his came and offered his comisserations on the death of his 'mother'. He had never realised it was his wife. I think it really upset him.
Having said that I think it is nobody's business except the couple. A few happy years together may be preferable to years and years of problems.
George
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Pickler
I am the "young wife" married a man a lot older than me. Have been married now for 15 years.
I see every ones points of view. Now I'm older myself I think you have to be very careful going into an unequal relationship.
it is unequal, when someone is so much older than you. They do have more power, financially and mentally, they are stronger, tougher, know how to get what they want in the relationship.
When you are in your 20s it's about exploring, you are relaxed, nothing feels permanent, at least that's how I was. I'd only been out of the JW for a few years. I had no family. I was in a city where I knew no one. My previous boyfriend was a 19yo backpacker (that was a lot of fun!). Then I went out with a guy in his 40s, who I later married.
We were happy, but, honestly all the parameters were set by my husband. By the time I realised this it was too late. For example, he already had money, a house, financial security, career etc etc. sounds good right? It is, but you miss out on creating anything yourself, then you don't have the shared memories, because they've already done everything & are over it. So you just have to go along with what they have already decided, it is unequal.
Im not saying it can't work, but, it's harder than if you have grown together.
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DATA-DOG
If my wife passed away, I would be in your shoes. I hope that never happens of course. I think I would set a limit of 10 years younger. I could still re-populate the earth with my libido, especially if I worked out. You know what that does to men. I would love to have more children, but that won't happen. Sadly, my DNA will be lost. Some idiot Wal-Mart shopping, NasCar worshipping, McDonalds eating, Gatorade drinking moron will have 5 times the offspring that I will have. Take that evolutionists. The human race is dumber than ever...
If I ever re-marry, it's gonna be a Nordic or Japanese woman, no more Americans.
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Simon
Like anything, there are no absolutes. In general I think too big of an age difference can be a problem but there will always be exceptions to any rule that involves people.
At some point it becomes cradle-snatcher / gold-digger though ... I mean really, Hugh Hefner? ... that isn't love on either side is it? But it's their arrangement so as long as they aren't hurting anyone else, what right do others have to judge?
My wife is 10 years younger than me. Hey, it's good work if you can get it
I hate the thought of not being there one day to look after her. The reality is probably that she looks after me more though.
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steve2
Many years ago, I approached one of the elders in my then local congregation after the Watchtower Study and asked if it was okay if I married a non-witness man who was 15 years older than me.
After the elder picked his jaw off the floor and composed himself, he said with heavy monotonic intonation:
"Steve, [long pause] I really think we have a problem here".
The rush of witnesses leaving the hall after the meeting precluded us from talking further. He was swept along by the madly exiting crowd as was I. Sadly I never summoned the motivation to approach that elder again and he never approached me.
Nevertheless, I think I got the message: It would not be okay for me to marry a man 15 years older than me. So I kept this wisely implied counsel in mind and determined that the man I would marry would have to be within 5 years of my own age, either side. I am pleased to report I have stuck to my determination.
My husband is a respectable 5 years younger than me.
I was hoping that the organization's attitude to this sort of spousal ageism would change as time passed, but I daresay it's just as closed-minded, especially conducive to emptying kingdom halls more rapidly than usual.
Still, that's life..and I have learnt another thing: no more jaw-dropping exchanges for me - the silence of the implied counsel is far too deafening.