need help

by Crazyguy 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  DesirousOfChange

  Lie

  Right now, it is all about damage control.

  BLACK SHEEP is 100% right!

  Also go back and read what Konceptual99 says.

  Forget the attorney (other than if wife takes kids).

  Don't put another damn thing in writing -- TO ANYONE.

  Memorize this line: "I know this is Jehovah's Organization, and I just accept the fact that there may be some things we have to wait on to understand completely. But I'm sure He will provide everything we need when "New Scrolls" are opened in the future. I appreciate your loving concern, but you brothers have totally over-reacted. I really thought you knew me better and had more confidence in me."

  Don't worry about the blood issue with your kids as the Courts will issue a Court Order if it becomes necessary for an ill or injured child.

  DO NOT --- DO NOT --- DO NOT express any other doubts or concerns about ANY doctrinal issue. Got that clear????

  Doc
• 

  notjustyet

  Desirousofchange is right in my opinion.

  Memorize this line: "I know this is Jehovah's Organization, and I just accept the fact that there may be some things we have to wait on to understand completely. But I'm sure He will provide everything we need when "New Scrolls" are opened in the future. I appreciate your loving concern, but you brothers have totally over-reacted. I really thought you knew me better and had more confidence in me."

  Don't worry about the blood issue with your kids as the Courts will issue a Court Order if it becomes necessary for an ill or injured child.

  If your concern is for your children, the being close by them in case of a need for a blood transfusion would be the wisest choice, This more than likely will never happen, but if it did, this would be the time to make a stand. If she was awarded full custody, you may not even be aware of this need until it was too late.

  Again, recant, and chant the "wait on Jehovah" until the zombies settle down a bit. Read up on Steven Hassans books, Combatting Cult Mind control and Freedom of mind as you need to learn what and when to say if anything at all.

  There is nothing wrong with teaching your children how to think critically. See youtube videos on this if not familiar. Depending on the kids ages, you can use a proxy for their religion such as any major investment or decision that should be researched prior to a commitment. If smart and you word it correctly, they will understand that ANY MAJOR decision (including a beleif system) should be processed through "critical thinking" to make a wise decision. I know that this is down the road, but being right there with the kids is the most important thing at this time. You need to become an actor for a bit until these things settle down.

  Hope all works out.

  Also, if she moves out, makes you move out, and it looks like divorce you need to look online for some publications that the WTBTS has provided to JW parents that teach the kids to lie on the Stand to make them seem more main streamed. This would work well for you, if it goes there, when it comes to a reason that the kids should not be left to the wife due to the religion. I'm not sure of the name but feel that others here may be able to help with that.

  Regards, and be sure to come here with your concerns and be sure to use "Private" browsing to prevent any software from tracking where you have been visiting. You need to think of this as war until proven otherwise.

  NJY
• 

  outsmartthesystem

  Crazyguy - You have a PM
• 

  *lost*

  welcome

  same as everyone else has said.

  You have to be mega careful and think now llike you are in a spy film and are a double agent, lol. You have to think of them now as the evil slave, everything scriptual you learned applies against them. Follow the zombies and repeat the mantra. You are buying yourself time - you need time. You need a plan. You need to real smart adn cunning.

  Your children need you now more than ever. Don't let enything jeapordise your family life with them. You need to be with them day in day out now. Their future lives depend on you.

  good luck
• 

  Comatose

  Please heed all the counsel on back peddling. LIE. Lie to your wife and the elders. How old are you? Can you claim mid life crisis and cry? You do not owe the elders the truth and need to lie convincingly to stay in for now. Only very slowly could you help your wife. SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE. Then slowly slowly after researching cults and Steve ahassans books can you SLOWLY help your wife.

  I think at this point you must meet with elders as soon as possible and lie. Say you were making truth your own and confronting things you didn't understand. But you get it now. You believe it! Make them see you are humble and still you. You have much time. The world isn't ending. Back peddle and go slowwwww.

  For now you better be at all meetings for a month or two and in service. Then after your research on cults start slow again. And come here for advice on how to start with your wife. I helped mine and will help you. But you must do damage control in a major way right now.
• 

  LostGeneration

  Sounds like your wife is getting a free pass for bad behavior. She called the elders on you? Are you kidding me?

  Do you want to live the rest of your life with someone like that? Also the threats to leave need to be met with strong legal action. Retain a lawyer today, preferably one who specializes in father's rights. I'll tell you from experience that a phone call placed at the right time from a lawyer to your wife will be worth 10x its cost when there are these silly threats to "take the children" because you aren't going to be a WT drone anymore.

  Your wife sounds so brainwashed that she thinks the "courts" are going to just go along with her because of her religion. As long as you aren't a drug abuser or crazy, you have rights! Stand up for yourself and don't let them intimidate you.

  The elders and the WT will back your wife on "spiritual endangerment" but what these idiots won't do is pay for your wife's lawyer!

  Stop all conversations with the elders. Tell them you "need time" to sort things out.

  GOOD LUCK!
• 

  flipper

  CRAZYGUY- Wow. Sounds like the cows may have broken the barn doors down and are a mile down the road already, but here it goes :

  If you want to hang onto your JW wife you may have to cease and desist writing letters to the WT Society about your doubts. It sounds as if your wife has already ratted you out to the elders about your doubts. I would advise you nOT to meet with them. They are just going to try and entrap you into saying something to get you DFed, then your wife WILL leave you and you'll be in a custody battle for your minor children. Been there, experienced that years ago myself.

  Depending on how old your children are you need to ask yourself a very basic question and be brutally honest with the answers you give yourself : Do you see your wife exiting the JW religion in time with you ? If not, will you be able to continue in a long term relationship with her in a religiously divided family ? Will that division cause untold hardship for your children should you choose to stay in the marriage ? Only you can answer these questions. We will b here as a support to you, O.K. ? Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  Crazyguy

  Thanks for everyones help in back pedal mode now and will keep you posted. Should of learned to keep my big mouth shut, but man i can now really see the brainwashing. These people can't even think strait logic out the window, reallizing that DFing is about keeping thier mind set nothing more. New meeting the elders want me to meet them at hall, smell a Judicial ambush going to cancel on them.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Hey, if the back-pedal thing is your decision, remember that it doesn't need to be that way forever. I know that months and years seem a long time but years from now, you will be looking back and thinking how it wasn't that long ago.

  Everyone has to decide what to do based on their thoughts and circumstances. Some would start over from saying the "lies" and trying to bring about slow changes. Some would just leave if they could help their children to leave.

  But the same is true for everyone- we have to decide for ourselves. Good luck to you. Feel free to ask for advice, check in. There are great helpers here.
• 

  ruderedhead

  Seems like you are in a better state of mind tonight. Good for you. Yes, doing the back pedal is probably a good idea right now. If you smell a jd ambush, you are best to not go. But may I make a suggestion? Don't use the word cancel with them. Use the word reschedule. You need to reschedule due to whatever reason you choose to make up, and don't commit to a date on the spot. Tell them you're sorry, have to check work schedule and other obligations,and tell them you will get back to them soon with a date. Don't meet with them until you are very clear in your mind that you can give the answers they want in a believable manner. Please still consider researching good family/divorce lawyers in your area. Perhaps you could use the local library computers to do your research to make certain your wife does not find out? Men I know that found good attorneys, who actually had to follow through, received 50% custody. And they are both assholes (but decent fathers). I hope it does not come to that for you, however. Hopefully you will be able to get things under control right now, and then proceed SLOWLY.